#shit log

Subtitle: the Catalan Pooping Christmas Log

This is one of the more inexplicable traditions I’ve found, except for the fact that people in Catalan seem to have a pretty strong Christmas/Poop association.  In the Catalan region of Spain, on December 8th, family will bring out the Tio de Nadal (Christmas Log) aka the Caga Tio (the Pooping Log).

For the rest of advent, the children in the family take turns caring for the log.  They feed it every night and cover it with a blankey so it’s nice and comfy.  

Then on Christmas Eve they beat the ever loving shit out of it.  No, really.

Then when they pull back the blanket they find a surprising treat.  The log has magically pooped out lots of Christmas sweets for the kids to eat!  Yum! (Wut.)

There’s even a festive song that children are supposed to sing while they beat the Poop Log.  Here it is:

I haven't pooped since Monday so I knew this one was going to be bad. You know when you get chills and you start feeling really cold and you think you might be getting sick but you're not sure? But then you realize it's just because you REALLY had to shit. That was me. 

I was listening to a Spanish podcast and I came across a tradition in Catalonia called, no shit, the shitting log. (Caga tio)

You cannot make this shit up.

You take a dressed up log, as seen above, and every day starting on December 8th you give the log a little bit to "eat." On Christmas day you half place it in the fireplace and you order the log to defecate. Then the parents order the kids to leave the room and to pray that the log shits them a bunch of presents. This is when the parents disperse the presents. Naturally, the log can't dump large objects (the Three Wise men do that) so the log gives such gifts as candy, nuts, dried figs, or even more smelly crap-like gifts like salted herring, garlic, or onions. The log will even leave a bowl of water as if it urinated it. 

At this point, you're probably well in the "WTF" mode. It gets better though, stay with me. 

The kids, when they come back in, will sing a song that goes something like this:

Shit, log! Shit nougats, Hazelnuts and mato cheese! If you don't shit well, I'll hit you with a stick! Shit, log!

Or an alternate version that goes like this:

Shit, log! Log of Christmas Don't shit herrings Which are too salty Shit nougats Which are much better!

The Catalonians have a tradition known as Tio de Nadal. From December 8th through Christmas Day, you "feed" the Caga Tio or Shit Log, a little each day.

On Christmas, you put the log partly into the fireplace and order it to "shit". To make him "shit", one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal. It poops leave candies, nuts and  little cakes. Sometimes, figs. When it can poo no more, it drops a herring.

The songs you can sing are like:

Shit log,

shit turrón, hazelnuts and cottage cheese,

if you don't shit well,

I'll hit you with a stick, shit log!