#shift work

A man and a woman, married to each other

They are both each other's first and only spouse, neither has been married before

Neither of them has any children with any other partner

Any children they have were born after the couple was married.

After thinking about it, my mom was able to come up with a few examples of such couples. But only a few. And she had to think about it.

Yet we still live in a society where this type of family is considered "the norm" and the much more common types (blended families, single parents, divorced people) are considered "exceptions."

And this is not the only thing like this! There are many experiences/lifestyles/family types that are treated as The Default or The Norm that, in fact, may not apply to a majority at all!

Even in discussions like "We should remember that not everyone has [normative experience]," it's still framed as though the normative experience is, of course, still the statistical norm. It might not be at all! Or maybe it is the statistical norm worldwide, or nationwide, but not in your particular community, or your social circle.

Sometimes it's necessary to look at global or national statistics to correct your bias of extrapolating from your social circle. Social bubbles are a real problem. But. But. Other times. It's useful to just look at your social circle and ask yourself "Do these population-wide statistics really apply here? Should I be looking at them to determine what's 'normal' instead of just looking around me?"

So here are some things that are culturally assumed in the U.S. to be "the norm", that you might want to ask yourself: How many people do I know personally that this is actually true of? (Other countries have their own maybe-not-that-normal norms that I'm not as familiar with, but feel free to weigh in on).

How many people do you know personally who:

Have a "traditional marriage" as described above?

Have a work schedule of Monday through Friday, ending at 5:00 p.m.? i.e. for whom Saturdays, Sundays, and evenings after 5:00 are "not at work" time?

Attended residential college from ages 18 to 22, and graduated with a bachelor's degree by age 23?

Had most or all of their college tuition and living expenses paid for by their parents?

Have, as an adult, the same surname as both of their parents, who were and still are, married to each other? Which was their father's surname which their mother took at marriage? i.e. whose parents could accurately be referred to as "Mr. and Mrs. [that persons' same surname]"?

Don't take any regular daily medicine?

Depending on your social circle, you might know very few people in these categories! But you probably still hear people say unquestioned, taken-for-granted things like "We should have the meeting at 6:00, so people can come after work," or "Of course parents of college students should have a say, since they're paying for it."

She’s not here right now | Blonde Nurse POV

I really like your new undercut.

I’d rather die than say it but I think your sense of urgency is sexy.

You move with a whole different level of purpose and fluidity than the rest of the team.

It’s really hot how fast you can break down a box.

The first time I wondered who you are outside of work was that time we lost the bottle opener and you said “here”, took the bottle, hooked the cap on the counter and hit it with your fist to pop it open like it was no big deal, and I heard our coworker in the back go “wowwwww” and honestly, same.

I respect your respect for FIFO.

One time you were so focused you silently moved a chair WITH ME STILL ON IT so you could get to the wall safe and ngl my heart fluttered a little.

We talk about how strong you are behind your back.

You’re strict but gentle and it makes you amazing at training new people.

I overheard you give a guy a discount because his kids were polite and it was really sweet.

You’re intimidating but I’m not surprised at all that you’re good with kids.

Shifts that you lead feel safe because you never snap on us in the chaos.

It’s really rare to have a manager who will go to bat for employees when a customer is being insane/abusive and we’re so fucking grateful for you.

I know you’re depressed but you make the whole team happier just by walking in.

I love how you make deranged jokes with a straight face.

I really admire that you don’t take things so seriously that you can’t laugh at yourself.

It’s probably fatigue, but it’s still cute when you lose your train of thought and make a weak your mom joke instead.

The only unprofessional thing I’ve ever seen you do is occasionally curse in front of customers but you don’t even realize when you do it and there’s something so human about that.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about you because I’ve heard other people say the things that I’m too afraid to.

I wish I could make you laugh as much as some of our coworkers do.

I hope you’re not at this stupid place forever but I also selfishly hope you don’t leave while I’m here.

I don’t feel like I can tell you any of this because I don’t want to make your job uncomfortable.

I really like you.