#shepherdmoth

Welcome to Explaining My OTP With Ship Dynamic Memes, the Abel x Valentino edition!

These memes and art references fit perfectly within my ship headcanons because certain poses/stuff just attract me. 😳👉👈 (If only I could draw ಥ_ಥ)

(Please click on the pictures below for better quality~)

Abel is Val's sugar baby and you can't convince me otherwise.

Co-author: @small-tragedies Characters: Vox, Valentino, Abel, Velvette (Mentioned), Emily (Mentioned), Lute (Mentioned I guess lol?) Pairing: Abel x Valentino, Velvette x Emily. Dividers by: @pixopix Divider link: [here] Warnings: Crack Ship, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Post Season 2, Rarepair, Explicit Language. Tag: @amethystoceandespiser

One year later

Vox had finally regenerated his body back.

It took twelve months, three full system reboots, and a humiliating amount of time spent as a screen. The experience had left him hungry to reclaim his image, but he was whole again… Tall, sleek, and convinced he was still the most powerful and sexiest thing in the Vees.

So of course he strutted right up to Valentino like nothing had happened.

“Val, baby” Vox purred, voice low and practiced. “Miss me?” 

Val didn’t even turn fully toward him. He just sighed, flicking ash from his cigarette.

“No. And that little charming act you do doesn’t work on me anymore.” He lifted his hand and flashed his ring. “I’m married now.”

Vox froze. “Married? To who?! Val, please don’t tell me you married that little whore Angel Du—”

“Hello,” Abel said gently, gliding forward with a small wave.

Vox stared. Then laughed. “This… This is a joke, right? Val, c’mon! An angel? This guy? He’s a wimp. He’s soft. He’s—what? Pudgy? Short? A loser? Hardly a man?”

Val’s eye twitched. Then he stepped between them, shoving Vox back with a force that made his screen flicker.

“Listen here, you outdated toaster,” Val snapped. “Abel is my sweet papito. He listens to me. He tells me which guns make me look sexier. He gives me taffies—and not the shitty ones, the really good ones. And... he’s the most attentive lover I’ve ever had~”

Abel blushed and Vox gagged.

Val kept going, voice rising with every word. “He actually respects me! Wild concept, I know. But he treats me like a person, and not like a prop! He’s more of a man than you’ll ever manage!”

Valentino paused for a moment as his expression softened. “And I swear, I fell for Abel the moment I saw him put his angel slut in her place…” he said dreamily.

“Teenie,” Abel interrupted softly, touching his arm. “I don't own her. And please don’t call her that. It’s very demeaning.”

Val rolled his eyes with an aggravated huff. “Fiiiiine! I won’t call her a slut.”

Then he grabbed Abel by the collar, yanked him close, and murmured with a wicked grin: “But you’re my little angel slut~”

Abel squeaked as Val nuzzled him. Vox recoiled like he’d been splashed with acid.

“Ugh, this is revolting,” Vox muttered. “I didn’t come back from decapitation for this.”

“Abel straightened, smoothing his robe, suddenly composed again.

“Mr. Vox,” he said politely, “Valentino has told me a lot about you. And honestly, I don’t feel comfortable with you being around him.”

Vox blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve hurt him,” Abel continued, still calm. “And one thing that particularly bothered me was when you referred to his Spanish as ‘island language.’ That was unapologetically racist, by the way.”

Val’s grin was razor‑sharp as Vox sputtered.

“Valentino is from Florida,” Abel explained, “and he has Puerto Rican roots. There’s a whole history of Puerto Rican culture in Florida, like—” he lifted his hand and began counting on his fingers, “migration, music, food, community, and you dismissed every bit of that.”

Vox opened his mouth, but Abel kept going, gentle but firm.

“And frankly… everyone here has moved on without you. Velvette’s with my friend Emily now, and she’s really improved herself and her cyberbullying.”

Val added, “Yeah, babe. Velvette’s too busy being in love with her own little angel slut to bother with your flat ass.”

“They’re ridiculously happy,” Abel added, letting out a small giggle.

Vox’s screen glitched. “Velvette… moved on and stopped cyberbullying?”

Yup,” Val said, popping the ‘p.’ “You’re the only one still stuck.”

Abel squeezed Val’s hand.

Val squeezed back.

Vox stared at them… The sinner and the angel, ridiculous and affectionate and absolutely unbothered by him. And for the first time in a long time, he had no comeback.

Just static.

Notes:

Okay, I literally discovered this ship last Sunday and immediately fell in love with it thanks to @shepherdmoth. It has all my favorite flavors—villain x good guy, tall x short, rarepair, and gay as hell~

I was on a walk with my sister telling her about it, and we ended up coming up with this funny little AU/scenario together where Val and Velvette have moved on from Vox and are working toward redemption with the help of their angel partners. We hope whoever read this enjoyed it!

I know this was meant to be a crack fic, but it’s my first time writing any of these characters, so fingers crossed I didn’t butcher them. 🤞

I made this Valentino x Abel pansexual pride PFP because they’re my forever pan4pan couple regardless of canon.

I’ve also noticed over the years that my bisexual identity overlaps with pansexuality. I just find myself attracted to people regardless of gender/identity. So in a way, I feel pan at heart, but I still identify as bi because it’s been part of who I am since I was about 12 or 13.

I made this Valentino x Abel pansexual pride collage because I was genuinely surprised to find out that Abel is straight in canon. I was honestly convinced he was either bi or pan. But oh well, I still have my headcanons lol.

Valentino leaned in, close enough that Abel could feel the warmth of him. “Do you really gotta go back up there already?” Val murmured, his voice a velvety purr. “Stay with me a little longer, baby~”

His hands slid into slow, tender caresses across Abel’s arm and chest, almost pleading. “I barely get you to myself,” he added, leaning in even closer. “Don’t make me give you back so soon.”

Abel’s face dipped downward, a blush creeping across his cheeks. “Teenie… I—” He swallowed, a shy smile tugging at his lips. “You know I always come back to you.”

A grin spread across Valentino’s face, and when he spoke again his voice was like silk. “Then stay. Just for me~”

Valentino is basically one of those doting wives wearing a bathrobe and hair curlers, clinging to her husband at the doorway and begging him not to leave for work because she gets so sad and lonely at night. 🥺