We got there, Dylan was very nervous. She never liked doctors, they always made her scared. So she was just holding my hand in the waiting room. You could see that she had a million thoughts going off in her head, almost like fireworks.

The nurse comes in, very bubbly and comforting. Knowing that no kid wants to go to the doctor. And she knew that most of the kids weren’t going to like her because she had the job of giving the children shots, and taking blood if they needed to. And poor Dylan was just so scared.

The nurse sent us to the room, waiting for the doctor. Dylan was frozen. Eyes were so wide. Wondering what was going to happen to her. I just engulfed her in a big momma bear hug. One of those hugs were you feel like you are going to suffocate, but at the same time, it feels comforting. I could hear a ruffled “mom, please. I...need… to… breathe.” Then she started laughing.

A few minutes later, that felt like centuries, Dr. Mcgrath came in. The moment the doctor came into the room, Dylan went white. Dr. Mcgrath was not what we were expecting. He was a very big guy, and he looked scary.

He knew this, saw Dylan’s face, and said It’s okay, I know that I look like this. But I swear to you, you are in good hands, okay? My name is Dr. Mcgarth and I am going to talk to you about how you are feeling, okay.”

So, Dylan was it?”

Dylan coughs and shyly says “yes. For now.”

Dr. Mcgrath: “okay. That’s good. And this is your mom, sitting beside you?”

“Yeah”

Dr. Mcgrath “Before we get started I want to ask you a question: what pronouns would you prefer me to use with you?”

Dylan “she/her, please… *looks over at Cordelia and then down at the floor* I should have been born a girl. It would have made life easier for everybody. That way nobody would have to explain anything. It would be easier.”

Dr.: Miss. Ponder, do you know how many patients, your age have the same thought about their gender identity. Look at me, okay, you are not abnormal, nor are you ugly for having those thoughts. Many young adolescent patients are diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

The Dr. then slowly changes his gage, so he is talking to both Dylan and Cordelia: Gender Dysphoria is when a person feels distant and distress between their gender identity and the sex they were assigned at birth. Dylan would be considered a transgendered woman.

It was silent for a few minutes. And then Dylan started asking questions. Not really to get answers, but just as they appeared in her brain.

Will I be a bearded lady? What about the future? Will people think I am weird? What is going to happen? Will I have to use the lady's room when going to the bathroom? How is this going to change me? *she just kept asking questions.*

Dr: Ok, Dylan. Breathe. It’s Okay. Remember to breathe. I will answer your questions.

To answer your first question: you will not be a bearded lady. We can have you take puberty blockers. Which will delay your puberty, so that you can get adjusted to your social transition.

In regards to the future, we will talk about it in more detail in the next couple of appointments.

You will not be considered weird, to most people. However, there will be some people who will not understand your choices.

As to what is going to happen, I am sorry I do not have a crystal ball. I can not see the future.

Your family will have to talk to the school about the restroom issue, and they will probably be accommodating to your needs.

Once you start your hormone therapy you will start to see changes in your body.

This is going to be a process, but with your family's support, you will have a much easier transition.

It’s okay to be scared. Just know that you have many people who are here for you.

After he answered Dylan's questions we gathered our stuff and we left for home. I told Dylan that I loved her.

Some Icelandic ghost children.

Hanging out in the attic.

For some weird reason I really enjoy drawing dead kids....

HELLO IM AUBREY! NORMAL, VERY NORMAL AUBREY.