It took me almost 7 years of struggling with an eating disorder before reaching out and asking for help. I lived for years in self hate , restrictive diets , counting calories , over exercising and numerous injuries before realizing that I needed help and that i was worth it. Realizing that I had a problem happened long before I asked for help. The stigma that surrounds mental illness prevented me from reaching out. I started with skipping meals and fad diets in grade 9. I didn't get help until I was 20. If doctors didn't notice a problem then clearly I wasn't sick enough. If it wasn't for the incredible people that I met in college I would probably still to this day be living in self hate. I was slowly killing myself and getting sicker everyday. I hit rock bottom before I realized that I needed help, I cracked a rib. I couldn't function properly and I was always sick. I barely made it through the day without falling apart. I couldn't look at myself or walk by a mirror without crying. My biggest fear was gaining weight. The number on the scale was the only thing that mattered.. and I used it to define myself. I considered being able to go days without eating as an accomplishment .. the feeling of fullness was equivalent to guilt. It took therapy and nutrition classes and seminars and several mental breakdowns due to gaining weight to get to where I'm at now. I can't thank the people enough that have been there for everything. I'm beyond blessed to have people in my life that I can call at any time. I couldn't ask for a better support system. Eating disorders are not for attention. They are not just a diet or a phase. They are a destructive mental illness that controls your entire life. 1/5 people will struggle with mental illness throughout their lifetime. Everybody knows someone. If you consider mental illness to be a choice then please educate yourself. I was not mentally weak. I was fighting what I thought was a losing battle everyday and it was beyond exhausting .. it was not a choice. #bellletstalk #mentalhealthmatters #fighted #recoveryispossible #yourbodyisnottheenemy #wearyourlable #breakthestigma #shareyoursole
