βDo the people Iβm surrounded by bring me life?
I believe that if you surround yourself with others who are just as or more motivated than you then you will more easily achieve your goals. That's as long as you share similar goals and the determination to reach them.
Surrounding yourself with others who are unmotivated, depressed, or keep a negative mindset are likely to bring you down and keep you there with them. You could try to be the good influence, but that takes time and energy which are not two things that you are ever getting back. You also have to ensure that you are stable yourself before you can help others.
As a person who actively seeks out goals and relies on the feeling of being productive to consider time well spent, it bothers me when I see the others around me not doing "anything". I mean keeping the same low paying job that holds them back from pursuing their personal goals or traveling or taking a break, holding onto friends or family that are quite obviously toxic or holding them back, spending all their free time relaxing and consuming rather than being active and creating.
It's not my place to say what other people should do with their time. If I want to be productive I will go do it on my own, but it would be easier to stay motivated while surrounded by others with the same mindset.
Sometimes though, I appreciate the friends that I have for their relaxed and simple approach to life. Learning to take a break and enjoy what you have is hard, and its good to be reminded of it. I have learned to stop moving so fast and judging myself from them. I want to keep people like that in my life to remind me how to enjoy life, which is something many goal-oriented people lose the ability to do.
I have been in situations where we share a common goal, but our approaches are completely different. I usually want to run and power through to the goal, and they want to take their time and enjoy life along the way. I've also had others work even harder and expect more from me than I was able or willing to give. Neither is right or wrong, but a balance has to be made, which I think is beneficial for grounding everyone.
In addition to sharing a similar goal and approach, compatability is very important. I do not want to be around someone who makes me feel anxious, that I feel like I have to carry a certain persona around, that I can't be myself. In a lot of situations it can be beneficial to find a group of motivated individuals with similar goals and try to fit into that group for your benefit. However, it has to be very much worth the time and effort, because if you are posing as a person who is not your genuine self, you will become exhausted very quickly and disengaged.
You can go to school or an apprenticeship with the idea in your head that you are supposed to act a certain way to achieve a common stereotype to be successful, and then end up hating what it is that you're doing. It isn't even the subject matter, it's the environment that you are in with the people surrounding you. If it you're not compatible, then it's not worth your time. Don't be afraid to find a better fit.
Many people are afraid of feeling alone. We crave socialization and are comfortable in our already established relationships. We cling onto existing connections without even thinking about if it's the best for us. There's an entire world of people and we just assume that the same people we've grown up with or spent the last few years with are our best relationships. There are always better ones out there, but people are afraid of finding the worse ones, so we stay in our comfort zone.
You can't live your best life being tied down by others or fearful of being alone. Do what you have to do and everything will fall into place. There is a natural affinity for people with similar interests and goals to come together anywhere they are in the world. Don't settle until you have surrounded yourself with the best for you. It could always be worse, but what if it got better?
