Pale-ass white bitch with pink eye say what?!

Why you wanna take a picture with him? He ain't even Santa Claus. His name is Pablo. We got outta jail the same day. He was in there for druggin', rapin', and killin' 3 children Japanese prostitutes. He was 'sposed to be in 25 to life, but they lost his records or somethin'. Lucky-ass motherfucker.

If I get crabs in your car, I'm gonna rip your balls off and feed 'em to my iguana.

Ooh, poop cramp!

They fuckin' with they ponytails? Whoo. Now, I done fucked a lot of random ass shit. You know, pickle jar, wooden leg, rabbit feet. But I ain't never fucked a ponytail. That shit's crazy.

Running around your neighborhood, and I'm stealing all your shit. (You better watch out.) I hope that you have a lot of bling, 'cause I'm gonna go pawn it. (Ooh, this ain't gold.) Making it rain with your Christmas cards and unwrapping all your gifts. (I hope you get a dildo.) Maybe I'll try to smoke your tree and then I'll raid your fridge. (Ooh, Twinkies!) Tomorrow, you will see me on your local evening news. This just in, without a witness, a crazy bitch has stolen Christmas. I hope you don't have any cameras, and I hope I don't wake you. But what I hope for most of all is that none of you are Jews. (Instrumental break) Come on, boys! Put your dicks into it! Ha-ha-ha, yeah! Running around your neighborhood, and I'm stealing all your shit. Step over, The Grinch, 'cause I'm the new bitch who just stole this Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Yeah! Whoo! I am tired! Anyone got a blunt?

Well, fine then! Walk yo...sexy ass out. Lookin' so delicious, I could just eat you up like a Crunchwrap Supreme with some extra Baja sauce and nacho cheese on the si-ide! Damn! Whoo!

Wait a minute. Is this really shit, or am I in a dream and this shit is symbolizing shit? Either way, I'm bored.