#shadowdance

In Greek mythology the Minotaur was hidden in the labyrinth, a metaphor for the shadow in the unconscious. The Minotaur killed seven Athenian boys and seven Athenian girls each year. This is an allegorical way of saying that what is hidden can destroy liveliness. The hero Theseus killed the Minotaur externally but never confronted his own inner Minotaur. In later years he drove away his son, who was then devoured by a sea monster.  Thus Theseus did to his own son what the Minotaur did to the Athenian sons.

We are cursed to act out the dark and desperate scenarios of the shadow as long as we keep believing it is supposed to be killed or canceled. 

Like cathedrals and forests, metaphors of the psyche, we are never finished though always whole. That is wonderful news, since something complete can still be made from unfinished things. In fact, our lively energy, our life force, depends directly on our being whole but not on our becoming perfect. 

The only question is: How much consciousness can we stand?

“I want you to wait for me, Beth. Don’t give up, honey. ‘Cause I’m alive out there… and I’m only alive because of our love… And someday… Oh, Beth… someday, I’m gonna come back home to you.”

Favourite Quote:

While reading Shadowdance I wasn’t sure if I should post a review for it. Because my reviews are pretty much a recommendation. After finishing it though I truly believe this is a novel more people should read, but I will preface this by saying PLEASE read the trigger warning list I’ll have at the end. Because this novel deals with a lot of graphic and sensitive subject matters that maybe very triggering and disturbing to a lot of people. Also while I have you here I also want to say I’m unaware of what this authors sexuality is, but it is written by a man. So this might be an Own Voices story as well.But with that said please enjoy the review~!

This is the first gay male story I’m reviewing on here and I’m excited to share such a rich and magical story with you all. Shadowdance is set in the time of witches, curses and kings. It follows the story of Innowen (Innocent). As a young child he was abandoned on the side of the road because of his physical disabilities. There he was saved and rescued by a woodcutter of the name Drushen , who raises him as his own. One night Drushen falls ill and with no way to help him Innowen crawls along the old dirt road in hopes of finding someone who can save this guardian. Here he meets a powerful witch who ends up granting him the ability to walk again. But at a great cost. He is only able to walk at night while the rest of the world is asleep, and every night he must dance in order to appease the witch’s God and keep his ability to walk at night. But a terrible curse ends up befalling any who see him dance.

Innowen makes it his quest to find the witch once again and find out more of his past. This is where he meets Razkili (Rascal) who ends up befriending him and together they try to find the witch.

I think what struck me most about Shadowdance is the beautiful poetic language and almost fairy tale way of presenting its themes and characters. If any of you have read The Iliad it gave me very similar vibes to that. And the focus is never on Innowen’s sexuality. It’s not something he struggles with. It just is. Romance isn’t even the main point of this novel. It is about finding oneself and accepting yourself for who you are. Accepting your past and your lineage without letting it define you. It many ways it also reads as a Greek or Shakespearean play. There are many twists and turns that all come together to explore this tragedy and make sense of all the characters actions towards the end. It truly is one of those stories that only fully makes sense once you have finished it. The emotive imaginary and motifs throughout this novel are often breathtaking. The relationship between Innowen and Razkili is one of the most tender portrayals of a gay male relationship I have seen in a long time. You never get to see how they meet, you only get to hear about it. But you can feel their love and devotion to each other. Their love feels very equal and real. They help to carry each other through their short comings and shape each other into better men. Their love is very apparent from the beginning, however, their romantic love for each other is something that slowly builds throughout the story, like heated embers.

There is a female character in Shadowdance named Dyan who Innowen develops a semi relationship with, however, the way the author handles her is remarkable in my opinion and I was happy to see how it played out. She feels envy and jealousy for his relationship with Razkili but never once does she act poorly towards either of them. If anything she is one of the reasons the two are even able to be together. She isn’t “getting in the way” of the gay dynamics of the novel nor is she just there to spark tension. Both her and Innowen genuinely love and care about each other, and it was really beautiful to see.

Innowen’s sexuality is never stated, but just based on how he acts and what he has done I would think he is bisexual, which is also some nice rep there. The country they are in isn’t stated either, but it is most likely something akin to ancient Greece and from the way he described Razkili sounds like he would be a gay MOC.

I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys dark fantasy, slow burn romance, Greek history and poetic writing. It is honestly a very moving and emotional read.

Trigger Warning: Graphic depictions of r*pe, sexual assault, consensual incest, insect via r*pe, graphic battle scenes, war, slight homophobia, sexism, graphic death scenes, HEAVY ableism