Content/Warnings: Robin x reader (platonic), the saddest story I have ever written, so take caution - crying may result, certain events are not described in this, but they are implied, fluff with a huge heartbreaking dose of angst, repetition to make it easier for me (and readers) to imagine what’s going on, I pictured Steve in a black t-shirt and his light blue denim jeans but you can picture him in anything you want, let me know if I missed any (Author’s Note at the end)
Now, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR SOME TEARS!
Driving up to the station, you parked just outside the doors, right next to the indention in the ground where he used to park his car in the exact same spot everyday. You tried not to think too much of it as you strolled up the steps and unlocked the set of double doors. A sweet, knowing smile set onto your lips as your felt his presence the second you stepped inside. The moment was fleeting, however, and your smile faded slowly as you threw your belongings on the table in the middle of the living space.
You begin by opening all the blinds to the several windows in the room before wandering around to turn on all the lights and switches to power on the WSQK Station. You could have sworn you heard the soft, distant roar of a familiar BMW racing up the driveway. He’d never been one to obey the speed limit. You chuckled at the thought as you walked up to the window, gazing out into the orange sunlit field, wrapping your arms around yourself to combat the morning chill. The sound was gone before long without a trace of an owner, the station silent once again.
You felt his strong arms, though, before you saw him, a content smile rising to your lips as you closed your eyes, reveling in his warm touch. His arms wound around you from behind, one arm around your waist and the other locked tight over your chest as he began to sway gently. You sighed comfortably as you melted into him, your back pressed firmly against his chest.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve hummed quietly so as to not disturb the quiet morning, resting his cheek upon your head as he stared out into the vast field, past the towering, rusty antennae where it all happened.
You hummed back in response, savoring and memorizing the feel of his arms around you once again. These moments never lasted as long as you would like, his arms always disappearing just a second too soon. You couldn’t take any of it for granted as you felt his arms tighten ever so slightly around you.
Placing your hand on his arm, you opened your eyes as you began to turn in his embrace. You guided your hand up the length of his arm, retaining every touch and trace his skin left on your fingertips as his hold loosened just enough to let you rotate. Your hand reached up to cup his jaw, and your eyes finally met his big, chocolate brown gaze that you missed all too often, only to find that he’d already been looking at you the entire time.
His smile took your breath away, his gaze filled with only the utmost adoration for you. Any amount of time without seeing his heartwarming smile is always far too long, especially these days. His arms tightened around you once again, locking at the base of your back, and you leaned into him, one hand on his jaw brushing the skin gently, the other over his heart as your thumb grazed the hard surface. It’s been quite awhile since you’ve felt his heart beat, and the thought squeezed your chest as a single tear managed to escape.
“I missed you, honey,” Steve spoke sweetly in a hushed tone in your ear. You couldn’t tear your gaze away from his, determined to memorize every single facet and detail of his eyes so you’d never have to go a single second without them. Steve brought his hand up to run the knuckle of his index finger along your skin, guiding it back to tuck your hair behind your ear, his gaze never leaving yours.
“And I miss you, baby, so much.” It hadn’t passed by him, your present use of the verb, as he watched more tears fall. He brought his hand up to your cheek, stroking his thumb softly over your skin. Neither of your smiles have yet to vanish, no matter how small they were. You were just happy to be in each other’s arms again.
You didn’t want to look away. You need to memorize his face, his hair, his eyes, his nose, his everything, because you didn’t know when the last time you see him will truly be the last, when the chances to see him become so rare until finally, they’re just gone.
Although reluctantly, you allowed Steve to guide your head down to lay against his chest. Your eyes held no hesitation when they closed at the most comforting feeling of being held so passionately in his arms. He swayed peacefully with you in his embrace, a feeling you wish you’d never have to live without, something you both wish for just moments before it’s gone. His hand held your head to his chest as he smoothed his thumb just over your temple, his lips pressed to the top of your head in an endless kiss. You relished in this rare moment, the station quiet apart from the early morning birds chirping and the steady hum of the electricity traveling through the all too familiar walls.
“It’s okay, darling. You’ll be alright,” You let out a broken cry at his words as you hid your face in his neck. You clawed at his chest, trying to get ever closer, if that was even possible. He could hardly feel the slight shake of your head as you disagreed with him. “Yes, baby, you’ll be just fine. Shh… I’ve got you, my love,” Steve placed a sweet kiss to the top of your head as he stroked your hair tenderly, attempting to soothe your heartbreaking cries.
With one arm still holding you to his chest, Steve took his other hand to cup your face, guiding you to look up at him. His sad eyes were a welcome sight as they held not only sadness, but peace. That’s all you ever wanted for him.
He was silent for a moment, his eyes seeing you as if you were the only thing that mattered, the only thing that ever existed, and he was too enamored to think of anything else besides the love that currently resided in his arms, even if only for a short time.
“You know I’ll always be here, right? I’m always with you, wherever you go,” You nodded as you let out a small, shattered laugh that ended up sounding more like a scoff. Even when it didn’t feel like it, that was a fact that you could agree on. There was no place in Hawkins that you couldn’t find Steve, no store front you could glance into or road you could drive down that some memory of you and Steve wouldn’t resurface at one point or another.
“Never forget how much I love you, my sweet girl. In any way you can, whenever you need a reminder, find a way to remember that I love you so much, even when I’m not around. Can you do that for me?” Steve offered a reassuring smile as he looked so lovingly into your eyes. Even now, he still couldn’t get enough of your magnificent (y/e/c) eyes. All you could bring yourself to do was nod once more.
“That’s my girl,” Another tear fell at the sentiment, his warm smile stealing your breath away yet again as you felt his arms tighten around your waist, his thumb stroking over your cheek and you nuzzled your nose into his palm, his presence overwhelmingly peaceful.
Just then, as a long ray of sunlight stretched across his face, it almost seemed as if the different shades of brown in his irises were melting, swirling together as the sunlight created a stunning sparkle in his eyes. Your eyes were only able to tear themselves away from his face when the slamming of a car door resounded just outside.
And just like that, the warmth was replaced with ice cold in the blink of an eye, the strength of his arms disappearing as if they were never there to begin with, his body vanishing without a trace.
Your legs gave out as if his arms had really been there the entire time, holding you up, but now that they were gone, you could no longer hold yourself up. Silent, but powerful cries erupted from your chest as you fell onto the hard tile floor, the cold unbearable against your now frozen skin. You didn’t think your heart could break anymore, but you could feel pieces crackling before shattering to the ground.
“Hey, Y/N! I’m home!” Robin’s voice rang through the station as she sang out jokingly. But you couldn’t answer, your heart beating too loudly in your ears. You were surprised you still had any heart beats left to hear.
“Y/N!” Robin yelled out, panicked when she saw your shaking body rolled up into a ball by the window. She ran, sliding up next to you on the floor, immediately taking you into her arms. This wasn’t the first time she’s found you like this. Her heart broke for her best friend every time it happened. Robin held you in her lap, wrapping her arms around you in a comforting embrace, your tears soaking the fabric of her shirt. Although greatly appreciated, it would never be the same as being held in the arms you knew could never hold you again.
“You saw him again, didn’t you?” Robin asked, her voice raw with tears of her own. She barely felt you nod against her chest as she held you there, her head placed on yours. She said nothing more. She knew nothing could help in this moment.
So Robin vowed to stay here with you for as long as you needed. The tears fell from her eyes as she heard each and every strangled sob that escaped you. You held onto her so tight she knew there would be new bruises forming on her arms soon enough. But she couldn’t care less. Anything to help her friend get through this extremely difficult time.
Of course it was hard for Robin as well. Steve had been her best friend after all. But it has hit you the hardest. You’d known Steve your entire life, it seemed. He was there through it all. It was in high school when you both finally decided it was time, and your feelings for each other had been brought out to the light. It had been the best decision either of your had ever made. With all that had been going on in Hawkins, you couldn’t dare to spend a single moment apart any longer. You’d vowed yourselves to each other, and that was that. Two starcrossed lovers destined to be together. Only to be ripped apart just when you had finally found hope, the light at the end of the tunnel. But life had different plans.
You knew Steve wouldn’t want you to spend your life mourning over his absence. But it was all that you ever seemed to be able to do ever since he left. You tried, for him, to make a life for yourself. You took it upon yourself to take his place at WSQK and Robin had vowed to stay there with you. She was your rock through it all, and you were entirely grateful.
As appreciative as you were for her, you were all the more grateful for the moments you did get to see Steve. Even when you didn’t get to see him, there were moments when there was no doubt in your mind that he was around. You could feel him, feel his warmth surround you, feel his comforting presence in the times you needed him most.
It had to be enough, you had decided. You wouldn’t be here if you’d decided that it wasn’t enough. But you know that’s not what he would want for you. So, you stayed and you dedicated your life to the things you know he’d want for you, to the things you had talked about before he was so tragically taken from you, to the things you had planned to do together.
No matter how much you wanted to end it just so you could be in his arms again, you picked yourself up each and every day, telling yourself that it will be okay, just like Steve had promised you. And like you’d promised him, you kept going, fueled by the certainty that Steve was with you, watching over you, every step of the way.
A/N: Oh… my… goodness… Y’ALL! Believe me when I tell you I cried almost the entire time while writing this to the point of making myself sick. I woke up around 5:40 am (01/27/26) when the idea for this story somehow just started creating itself in my head. I was struggling to figure out whether or not I wanted to get more sleep and wait to write it later in the day, but with the risk of forgetting some details I was thinking about. But I ended up getting up anyway and started writing it, and let me tell you, as I wrote the last few words, I was in a mix of tears and laughter, like how did I write something like this?! This has to be the SADDEST story I have ever written. Let me know in the comments if you cried while reading it like I did while writing it. I think it was worth losing those last couple hours of sleep, though, to write this. Please don’t come at me. This is supposed to be a heartfelt story, no matter how sad. Despite that, I hope you enjoy it anyway 🖤
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The last thing you remembered about loving Jake was not the way he smiled, the warm press of his lips on your forehead, or even how he used to say your name like it was a prayer.
It was silence.
The kind that spread like spilled ink in your chest. The type that crept into the corners of your mind and made a home there. It was the kind of silence that didn't scream or cry. It just was.
When he told you he didn’t love you anymore, his voice didn’t crack. He didn’t hesitate. He said it like he was ordering simple, transactional, clean coffee.
But it wasn’t clean.
God, it wasn’t clean.
You didn’t argue. You didn’t beg. You just ended the call, then stared at the phone like it had personally betrayed you. You folded the pieces of yourself you’d chipped, cracked, and sharpened to fit into his love—the way you’d bent around his moods, quieted your joy, dimmed your laugh, and learned to love his storms while hiding your sun.
And then you cried.
Six hours straight.
A wet, ugly grief that left your throat raw and your eyes hollow.
And then you were okay.
Not healed.
Not whole.
Just… okay.
Butterfly blue.
It had been your favourite colour as a child. You didn’t even remember why anymore. But after Jake, the shade took on a different weight. It was the colour of bruises, of the sky the morning after he left. The colour of endings and beginnings, all wrapped in one impossible hue.
He said you looked happy.
Weeks later. On a street that smelled like old cigarettes and blooming jasmine. You ran into him like a scene out of a cruel movie—his hands in his pockets, that same crooked smile, the one you used to mistake for warmth.
"You look happy," he said, his voice soft and slow, like he couldn’t believe it.
"I have to be," you replied. Not because it was brave. Not because you wanted to hurt him.
Because it was true.
He didn't say he missed you. He didn’t say he still dreamed about you when the nights ran long and cold. He didn’t tell you that every girl he tried to love after you felt like a hollow replica of something he’d already lost.
And you didn’t say that you stopped loving the version of yourself you became for him. That girl—the quiet and the shrinking one—was dead.
You said goodbye with a nod and walked away, your boots crunching over gravel, the sun catching the glint of your butterfly necklace.
People talk about heartbreak like it’s one sharp moment. But no one talks about the after. About the quiet unpacking. The ghost of a toothbrush. The songs you can’t listen to anymore. The books you never finished because he never liked them.
Healing wasn’t linear. Some days, you forget him. Others, he felt like a shadow pressed against your skin.
And still, you never called.
You didn’t go back, even when the nights got heavy, even when the loneliness whispered his name.
Because sometimes loving someone means walking away from them.
Sometimes, loving yourself means never going back.
It was three months later when you saw the butterflies.
Monarchs, painted in brilliant orange and black, against the sky's soft blue. When one landed on your shoulder, you were standing in a field, breathing in air that didn’t ache anymore.
You thought of him.
Of butterfly blue.
Of all the versions of yourself you’d abandoned to make him stay. You thought of the girl who once believed love meant shrinking, softening, breaking.
And then you thought of now.
Of this moment.
Of your laugh, loud and reckless. Of the way you dance again, barefoot in your kitchen. You’ve grown into a woman who chooses herself every single time.
He used to say that your laugh was too loud and that it made people stare.
So you stopped laughing.
Now, you do it to spite the silence.
One night, you dreamed of him.
He sat next to you, older. Softer. His eyes were tired but still beautiful. He told you he never stopped loving you.
And you whispered, “Maybe in another life.”
In the dream, you didn’t cry. You didn’t reach for him. You just watched him fade like a morning fog.
Because this wasn’t another life.
This was the one where you let him go.
Where you walked through fire and came out burned, yes—but free.
And when you woke, the sun was rising. Soft butterfly blue through your curtains. And for the first time in a long time, you felt something almost like peace.
Not because he was gone.
But because you were finally back.
To yourself.
To your voice.
To a love that didn’t ask you to be small.
You stood in the window, watching the sky bleed blue.
And you whispered to the wind:
“Maybe in another life, I didn’t need to lose pieces of myself just to be loved by you. But this is the one where I found those pieces again.”
today is a v important day bcuz my all time fav american dad episode turns 13 today (that i totally never mention /s)
the adventures of twill ongenbone and his boy jabari first aired this day 13 years ago. it’s a teenager now lol
it also marks the 18th anniversary tearjerker which began the whole tearjerker sega and is probably one of the shows best episodes and storylines. it’s now legally an adult too lol
and it also marks the 1st anniversary of last seasons the legend of mike madonia the rototiller man :))
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Here's my entry to the Creator Challenge, kindly organised this time by @gigiprinceton2 and @patrickdreessensworld.
When thinking about this one, I thought about the purpose of a card - to bring joy to the receiver, spreading a little Christmas spirit. But it's not just for the receiver - sending a card brings joy to the sender too.
I hope you have a moment to read this - it's truly heartfelt and a treasured memory for me - something which feels more valuable every day. I didn't want to take too much away from the story with the imagery, but it *IS* an art challenge. Perhaps judge the story alongside it!
The Christmas card sat on the kitchen table, its envelope already addressed in careful script: To Gran, Wherever You Are. Sarah held her pen above the blank space inside, watching the December snow fall outside the window of her Manchester home.
She'd bought the card without thinking - a lovely picture of a robin perched on a snow-dusted gate, just like the ones Gran always chose. It wasn't until she got home that she remembered. It had been three Christmases now since Gran had gone.
Still, Sarah began to write.
Dear Gran,
I'm sitting here with a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows (not as good as yours, I'm afraid) and I can almost smell your kitchen. Do you remember that last Christmas at your house in Didsbury? You insisted on making the pudding in September, wrapped in that same muslin cloth you'd used for forty years. "It needs time to mature, pet," you said, as if I didn't know the routine by heart. I still have that muslin today.
Sarah smiled, her handwriting growing looser, more natural.
I've still got your recipe book too - the one with the gravy stain on the Yorkshire pudding page. Made your stuffing last week. Burnt it a bit, but the sage smell filled the whole flat. Felt like you were here.*
She paused, blinking back the sting in her eyes.
Christmas isn't quite the same without you telling your terrible cracker jokes and sneaking Bailey's into your coffee when you thought no one was looking. But I've hung your angel on top of my tree - the one you brought back from Blackpool in 1983. She's a bit wonky, but she's perfect to me. I still think she looks a bit like you when you married Grandad.
I miss you, Gran. Every single day, but especially now.
All my love, Sarah xxx
She sealed the envelope and tucked it into the branches of her Christmas tree, nestled beside the wonky angel. Outside, church bells began to chime across the city.
Somewhere, she thought, Gran was smiling.
Thank you all so much for the follows, reblogs, and support this year. It means the world to me that you're here sharing these little moments with me. Wishing you all a warm and peaceful Christmas - wherever you are.
