#sera.vnt

i’m so tired of short talking stages or showing interest in someone and we talk for a day. i have so much love to give and im always the one messaging and the one making the first move and i get i’m probably unlovable but i just want someone else to show interest in me first. i know im not pretty and i know im boring and i know im annoying but i wish i wasn’t. i wish someone could like me and i wish i was more to someone than i am. i’m tired of always shooting my shot and no one ever reciprocating and i just want to know what it feels like to be desired and wanted. i am tired of being alone i want my person

semi talking to this girl. i liked her for a year and then she liked me back and i said i wanted to wait til we weren’t long distance because we have only seen eachother irl 3 times. had a whole conversation about it. months ago by and im telling her how i don’t have a date to homecoming, and she goes “yeah well i’d hope not since you have a girlfriend” dead ass. and i’m like “??… i have a girlfriend?”. and apparently she had been telling people we were dating for MONTHS. so, im like uhh wtf it was a whole thing. so, i’m transneu. i appear more femininely, but i identity fem-neu. i begin to realize that she has always denied my transness. which is odd, considering she is transgender herself. when i was transmasc and bisexual she only acknowledged me as a lesbian, now that im transneu she has only expressed to me that im cis. saying i dont understand trans issues, sending me things like “send this to a cis person”, etc etc etc. like so fucking much of it. the more she disregards my identity the more and more i don’t like her.

i’m so upset. i can barely see. my right eye is making up for my left eye and i can’t see the specialist until the 27th of october and my vision is rapidly getting worse. i can’t barely function at school. my glasses just make it worse because my right prescription is wrong. “he says it’s right” then why can’t i see out of it. i started crying because i can’t fucking see, i can’t read, i can’t write, and she goes “did you fill your meds?”. every time im upset recently she just asks if ive taken my meds or filled my prescription. i’m so fucking frustrated i just want my eye fixed and my emotions to be seen normally

TW SH !!! i need to cut so bad today has been so awful

i js realized that no one around me but one fucking person actually listens to me so is this my sign to block everyone and delete all socials bc what’s the point