#sept2020

Pulling your arm out of the bag, you looked at the most gorgeous ring you’d ever seen. It was a silver band set with a large emerald, tiny diamonds lined in a circle around the green gem. It sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before. And Owlbert, who normally couldn’t care less about anything he brought over, even seemed intrigued.

“Woah,” You muttered, looking at it from every possible angle, “This is the biggest gem I’ve ever seen.”

Owlbert hooted from your shoulder. You held it up for him to look at, but he couldn’t do much with it besides peck at it. That was probably a good thing. Turning it, you noticed an engraving on the underside of the ring.

“To our forever. Love, E.” You read softly.

“Hey, did Owlbert bring anything interesting back?”

Eda’s voice seemed to startle both you and the little owl on your shoulder. Turning to her, she looked mostly normal. Her hair was just slightly more disheveled than normal. Smiling, you presented the ring to her.

“Look at this!” You grinned.

The owl lady didn’t seem very impressed. She looked at the ring, then to you, then back to the ring. She raised an eyebrow.

“I know things are different in the human world, but this isn’t very exciting to anyone in the Boiling Isles. You can find gems anywhere these days.” Eda said.

“Yeah, but isn’t it beautiful? And someone even had it engraved - see!”

You shoved the ring out in front of her. Eda squinted her eyes to read it, before promptly bursting into laughter. Loud laughter. A frown took over your face. What could possibly be so amusing about this?

“Geez, that’s about the sappiest thing I’ve ever seen. ‘Our forever,’ who even says something like that?” She asked, wiping tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes, “Good one, Y/N.”

Her reaction stunned you. Sure, Eda wasn’t exactly a big romantic, but you hadn’t expected anything like that. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment. Small things like ring engravings were something you loved. They showed that romance wasn’t dead. You were more partial to old love letters and postcards, but rings always seemed to take the cake. The way someone could completely encapsulate their love in the tiny space a ring provided was amazing to you.

“Lots of people say things like that.” You defended, “It’s not weird to show that you love someone.”

Normally, you knew this wouldn’t bother you so much. But it stung coming from Eda. Ever since you’d met the woman, you’d been head over heels for her. She had a natural charm that made it all too easy to catch feelings. Secretly, you’d hoped that you weren’t alone in those feelings. You imagined a million different scenarios where Eda swept you off your feet, like the giver of this ring might have done for their significant other. The way she seemed to scoff in the face of romance, though, had you thinking otherwise.

“Whatever you say, Y/N.” She smiled, seeming to miss the expression on your face.

You snatched the ring from her hand, before walking away from the stand in a huff. Eda’s voice called out from behind you, but you didn’t turn around. She could manage on her own for a while.

Thoughts seemed to crash into one another like waves in your head, making your chest ache. If Eda had that kind of reaction to anything romantic, then she couldn’t return your feelings, could she? Being in love with someone made you softer. Warmer towards other expressions of love, whether it was yours or not. These thoughts plagued you, keeping you in your own head, until you realized that you’d walked all the way back to the Owl House.

How long had you been walking for?

From your assessment of the house, a long time, but not long enough for Eda to be home. All of the lights were still off inside. Good. It meant you could be alone for a while.

Ignoring Hooty’s attempts to make conversation, you opened the door and walked inside. You kicked off your shoes, not caring where they went, before trudging up to your room. And holding the ring to your chest, you fell asleep.

---

Eda had been shocked to watch you walk away like that. You were level-headed, even at the worst of times. That type of response was extremely out of the ordinary.

“What did I do?” She asked, looking at King. The demon shrugged.

“Beats me.”

It bothered her for the rest of the day. She was able to forget about it during the few sales she had, but the second they left it was all she could think about. Eventually, she packed the tent up early, hoping you’d be at the house and you could talk.

She felt a little nervous, wondering what to say to you. Eda didn’t do well with feelings. A lot of the time, she preferred to ignore them; let them all go away. But she’d never been able to shake you. You hadn’t been in the Boiling Isles for a long time, but it hadn’t taken very much to capture her attention. Eda cared about you a lot. A lot more than she felt comfortable thinking about.

“Hey Hooty, did Y/N come home?” Eda asked, trying to sound normal. She didn’t want to seem too worried.

“You bet your hoot she did, but she didn’t even say hello! Kinda rude. Hoot.”

“Thanks.”

Eda opened the door, throwing off her shoes, before taking off towards your room. First you walked away without saying anything, then you’d ignored Hooty? None of that added up.

Arriving outside of your door, she noticed that none of the lights were shining underneath it. She tried to knock gently. No answer came. There was an internal debate about whether or not she should open the door. She wanted to check and make sure you were okay, but she didn’t want to invade your privacy. Worry eventually ruled supreme.

“Y/N?” She whispered, peeking in.

She noticed your form wrapped up in blankets in the middle of the mattress that she’d found. Tiptoeing closer, she felt a piece of her heart shatter. Your eyes were closed, but they were puffy, with tear stains drying on your cheeks.

“Oh, Y/N,” Eda muttered, sitting herself on the floor next to the mattress.

With a gentleness that she rarely let shine through, she wiped the last few tears off of your cheeks. A sigh escaped her. She couldn’t help but wonder what had caused this, then her eyes caught the ring in your hand.

Huh.

Your eyes fluttered open, landing on her. It took a few moments before you came to. Then you sat up on the mattress, wiping furiously at your cheeks, trying to appear even the slightest bit composed.

“Eda! When did you get back?”

You tried to put on a bright smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Eda didn’t smirk or grin like she usually did. She sighed, before pulling one of your hands into her lap, holding it.

“What happened today?” She asked, looking more serious than you’d ever seen before.

“Nothing.”

She raised an eyebrow. You weren’t the best liar, certainly not when it came to her. Eda could see through you like it was a superpower. Knowing that you were caught in a lie, you broke eye contact.

“I just… I was feeling a little sensitive, it’s fine.” You said softly.

“Y/N, you don’t blow people off like that when you’re sensitive. You overcompensate. Whether it’s smiling a little too big or acting a little too cheerful. That’s not what happened today. So what is really going on?” Eda asked.

You felt frozen. It had always been easy to lie, to make people believe you were fine. Nobody could read you. That had been something you’d prided yourself on. But Eda could read you like a book she checked out from the library. It hit you then that your emotions had always been plain, easy to read, but nobody had ever cared to ask before.

“Eda, I… I made myself feel like this. I overthought something, it isn’t your fault.”

You removed your hand from Eda’s, though it pained you to do so. It was your own fault for believing she’d fall for you too, wasn’t it? You moved away from her, looking out the window, so you didn’t have to meet her eyes. It was better this way. It was better that she never knew.

“Don’t lie to me.”

Her tone was one you’d never heard. She was lighthearted, fun, maybe even annoyed sometimes. Now she sounded stern, almost… angry?

“Eda, please don’t.” You whispered.

“Don’t what? Don’t ask for the truth? We’ve been through too much, don’t think you can lie to me and get away with it. Tell me what’s got my girl so upset.”

‘My girl.’ You wanted to cry at the words. She didn’t mean it the way you wanted her to, right? It was something she’d say to anyone, surely. You could never be lucky enough to be her girl.

“Just leave it alone, Eda.”

“No.”

You heard her growl before you were turned around, your back pressed into the wall next to the window. There was a fire in her eyes, but there were also tears there. You felt so lost.

“I know you, Y/N Y/L/N. I know the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, even the way you smile. When you walked away from me today, I knew you were out of sorts - I thought maybe it was just random. But now you’re standing here, lying to me, pretending to be fine. We don’t lie to each other. Let’s not start now.”

“I can’t.” You said, your voice breaking.

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t ruin this!”

Eda’s brows furrowed, moving her face away from yours slowly. Hearing you raise your voice was unusual. You never yelled. And if you did, never at her.

“What are you talking about?” She asked softly.

“I can’t… I can’t lose you because I convinced myself of something that wasn’t true - because I made myself think you’d care for me like I care for you.”

You forced it out, the tears flowing freely now. Eda looked confused before her eyes widened with understanding.

“I’m sorr-”

Eda cut you off by pressing her lips to yours. They were soft. You found your eyes slipping shut as you leaned into the kiss, moving your lips against hers. Her golden fang caught your bottom lip slightly. It didn’t hurt like you thought it would, instead it made you grin. You could feel her grin too.

“Do you think I’d be this worried about you if I didn’t feel the same way?” Eda whispered, pulling away slightly, “If I didn’t… love you?”

“Oh, Eda,” You let out in a sob, “I love you too.”

It startled you when, instead of kissing you, Eda grabbed your hand. She extracted the beautiful emerald ring from your palm and slipped it onto your finger.

“It couldn’t have meant all that much to them if it was in the bottom of a trash bin,” She offered up with a shy smile, “To our forever.”

“To our forever.” You repeated back.

Gasping, you shot straight up from where you’d been sleeping. Your chest was heaving as you attempted to take in air, feeling all over your body to make sure you were yourself. Not the beast. When you came up absent of the sharp bones and fur, you let out a shaky sigh. A hand on your arm startled you from your thoughts.

Looking down, Eda was blinking up at you with worry, her brow furrowed. You couldn’t keep the tears from falling. It had been a while since you’d transformed, but you could never escape your curse. Not even in sleep. Eda pulled you down into her arms, tucking your head under her chin.

“Did you have the dream again?” She asked, her voice more gruff than it normally was. You nodded, not trusting your voice, “Was anything different?”

You forced yourself to focus on it, to see it in your mind's eye. Had anything been different? Scanning the images that flashed through your brain you realized why it had been so hard this time.

“I… I was able to make eye contact with myself this time. In the mirror.” You forced out, unconsciously gripping the front of her sweater in your hands.

“What happened?” Eda said, rubbing a hand in circles on your back, speaking soothingly.

Having this dream every night bothered you, but it rarely gripped you like it was now. Something always changed. It lasted a little longer, someone else was there, etc. All of it caused some reaction inside of you that Eda would help you calm down from. You felt horrible throwing this on her, when she had her own curse, but you did the same for her when she got like this. She couldn’t see you in such distress and not do anything.

“It was all the same, but before I destroyed it I could... look myself in the eye. There was so much p-pain there, Eda. H-How could I-I…”

Your voice shook and you stuttered as another wave of emotions overtook you. It hadn’t been an accident, your curse. Nor had it been something in your family. It was an unfortunate result of a confrontation with a bully, who’d seen fit to curse you for challenging them. And though they may have cursed you, you’d never forgiven yourself for letting it happen. For not preventing it. All of your pain was your own fault, in your eyes.

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” She whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head, “It’s not your fault. I know you think it is, but it isn’t. That asshole did this to you. It is their fault.”

“I should have been stronger… if I hadn-”

“Y/N, nobody can prevent a curse like that. When I transform, do you blame me for being cursed? For not being strong enough?”

“No.” You whispered, letting out a sigh.

“Exactly. You can’t blame yourself for something you had no power in preventing. It only hurts you more,” Eda said, pulling back to look down at you, “Try and go back to sleep, okay? I’ve got you.”

“You’ll protect me?” You asked shyly.

“With everything I’ve got, sweetheart.”

Eda placed a kiss on your lips before wrapping a blanket around the both of you. Knowing that you were secure, and feeling a little better about it all, you let yourself drift into sleep. All of this time you’d been angry at the wrong person. You had internalized all of this anger at yourself, instead of acknowledging what someone else had done to you. Those feelings wouldn’t magically go away, you knew that, but with Eda by your side you knew it would get better.

All of the children were waiting alongside her, excitedly shifting from one foot to the other. All except Emma. The frown on her face matched her headmistress, frustration barely covering the worry. You weren’t an ymbryne, so they knew you wouldn’t be perfectly on time. But you’d been with them for so long that you were typically only a few seconds late. If something was different, then it meant there could have been trouble.

“I’m sure she’s just a little out of practice after being away for so long.” Emma said softly, reading the worry on Alma’s face easily.

“Of course. That must be it.” Alma agreed. But her gaze never wavered from the hands of her watch.

Some of the children were getting restless, looking from the cairn opening to their headmistress. They could tell that this type of lateness was abnormal. Claire was the first one to break the silence.

“Where is she, Miss Peregrine?” Claire whined, clutching onto the woman’s skirts.

“She’ll be here any moment now, Claire. No need to fret.” The headmistress replied. With a forced smile, she brushed a golden curl away from the girl’s face.

The older children began to feel uneasy. Enoch had even come to see your return. Your departure had hurt Alma more than anyone, but Enoch was the closest second. Among the residents of the home, you had been one of the few to understand him the most. Seeing you go had been a bitter moment. But now, he’d become excited to see you return.

Three years, seven minutes, and thirty-two seconds.

That was how long you’d been away before you finally burst through the cairn opening, hair mussed and face flushed. Your entrance gained excited gasps. Claire was the first to launch herself toward you, followed by Fiona.

“Oh, my children!” You greeted happily, catching them in your arms easily, spinning as you hugged them.

“Miss Y/N!” The others cheered.

Alma watched with a barely-there smile as the children approached you at a run. They all piled onto you in a large group hug. Even Enoch approached slowly, though he hung out around the edges. Until you opened an arm to him. Then he gave you a small grin, joining the group.

“My children, I’ve missed you all so much,” You said, tears escaping your eyes, “I’m so happy to see you all again!”

“Did you have fun on your adventures?” Millard asked.

“Did you bring us anything? Or take any pictures?” Hugh followed up.

“Children,” Alma’s tone was sharp, though not angry, “Why don’t we let her settle in before interrogating her? Go back to the house and prepare for our daily walk.”

There was a collection of whines, but they did as their headmistress instructed. Though not without giving you one last squeeze each. You knew that keeping on schedule was important, but you wished you could have had a few more moments before being interrupted. The children made their way back to the house quickly. And as soon as they were far enough away, Alma crossed her arms and leveled a look at you.

“You’re late. Atrociously so.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry, Alma, the ferry to the island was late.”

Alma’s scowl persisted, before she couldn’t hold out any longer. She approached you in rapid, striking movements, pulling your body into hers. Before your lips could meet, she stopped. Your gaze instantly moved to them. The smirk that tugged at her mouth filled you with warmth.

“I suppose I could… be forgiving...” She whispered.

Her breath was warm against your lips. It had been so long since you’d seen her, held her, kissed her. And now she was taunting you with it. Against your better judgement, you let your eyes slip closed.

“You have to make me a promise.”

“Mhm.” You hummed, leaning forward to close the gap. A finger against your lips stopped you.

“No more leaving. You’re home - for good.”

Your eyes opened, looking into hers. They were glassy. She didn’t cry often - if ever. There had only been two instances when she’d been this vulnerable. The first was when Victor died, the second when you told her you were joining Abe outside of the loop.

She didn’t discuss unpleasant things, but that night was as close as she’d ever been. It had been a difficult conversation. She laid out her terms through barely contained tears. You would go for three years, calling once everyday unless it was impossible. And then when you returned, you would stay. That had been something you wanted to negotiate then, but now that you were back with her, nothing could make you leave. Not again.

“I promise, Alma.” You whispered.

You barely got the words out before her lips were on yours. Her lips were soft, insistent. Kissing her felt like everything beautiful in the world. The gentle warmth of the sun. The sweetness of freshly picked fruit. The crisp air after it rains. You wondered why you had ever left, when you had everything you needed here - in Alma Peregrine.

Your lungs were screaming for air, but pulling away still felt difficult. It felt too soon. You’d give up all hope of breathing if it meant never letting her go. But Alma probably wouldn’t be happy if you passed out on her after you’d returned. So you pulled away.

Touching her forehead to your own, you placed a few quick kisses on your mouth, in between gulps of air. You giggled at the action, overwhelming happiness filling you.

“I missed you so much, my love.” Alma whispered, stroking your cheek with a gentle hand.

“And I missed you. It broke my heart over and over to say goodbye after every phone call.”

“Your voice never felt like enough. The children and I counted the days, they missed you almost as desperately as I did.”

“Any more than three years and I think I would have succumbed to heartache.” You admitted, tucking your face into her neck, placing a kiss against the skin there.

Alma shivered slightly at the feeling, but otherwise didn’t react. She ran a gentle hand up and down your back. The two of you stood like that for some time. It struck you how much this meant, since she hadn’t checked her watch once since seeing you. You knew it must have been bothering her.

“Go on, you can check it.” You teased.

Her shoulders relaxed slightly as she removed the watch from her pocket, eyes focusing on the hands as they ticked away. Then her eyes met yours, a silent question in them. You extracted yourself from around her with a smile.

“Come on, let’s go take care of your children.”

That night, you were so full of love that you worried your heart would burst in your chest. The children regaled you with tales from the time you’d been away. Most of them you’d already heard over the phone each night, but it didn’t matter. You were happy to see them so happy.

Your eyes met Alma’s often. Her eyes twinkled, reflecting nothing but warmth back at you. That night while watching Horace’s dreams, you watched as your own reunion with Alma flickered to life. You felt a blush rise to your cheeks as the children looked at you with big smiles.

When the night had fallen, you settled into bed with a full heart. Alma tucked you into her arms, laying kisses all over your face when your lips weren’t on hers. It was the perfect welcome back. And as you drifted off to sleep, nestled snugly in the arms of your ymbryne, only one thought echoed in your mind.

It had pained you to leave. To walk away from the warmth of the home you’d built together. Especially with Abe only having been gone for a year. Alma had clutched you tight to her, nails digging into your shoulders, silently begging you not to go.

But Abe needed your help.

For nearly three years, you’d helped him track down Hollows all over the globe. Abe was sharp, always predicting their next move. The two of you made a significant dent in their numbers.

It’d been hard at first - taking a life. Not seeing it helped make it easier. That, and the thought of how many Peculiars had perished for their greed. Suddenly, pulling the trigger wasn’t so difficult.

The calendar in your pocket helped you keep track of the days. As you left, Alma made you promise that it would only be three years. Abe could only have you for that long. Then you’d return to the safety of the loop, where her and the children needed you most. Now, you were days away from your deadline. Your journey home just beginning.

You left Abe in France with some reluctance. Alma saw him as a son, but he’d always been like a brother to you. It felt wrong to leave him in the middle of this journey. But you knew Alma would be furious if you asked for more time. Abe had known too. So with a heavy feeling that it was the last time, you walked away from him, only turning back once to wave.

On the train, you’d looked through the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. He was gone. You’d expected as much. And if a few tears left your eyes at the thought, nobody but you would know.

When the sadness began to fade, anticipation took its place. After three years of staring at a crumbling photograph, you’d see your family again. You knew they’d be waiting inside the loop for you. Alma would have her pocket watch in hand, counting down the seconds. The children would be gathered behind her with barely restrained excitement. And the second you walked through the cairn they would be on you, laughing and hugging you tight.