#sentience's stuff

i think i can fix omori. well, some of it.

SPOILER? WARNING: This analysis assumes you have played the game's noise ending at least once. I'll provide screengrabs of things where I can. I do believe it's a masterpiece of a game, and would highly recommend it.

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions and allusions to suicide, severe mental illness, grief and religious trauma/criticisms of religion.

Tomorrow won't come for those without (TWC for short) is really... confusing. To the extent where I've got a notebook with pasted cut-outs of dialogue and imagery simply to try and... understand it.

As with much of the things I write about, I don't think it's designed to be understood - etherane's work often revolves around very personal and complex depictions of mental illness, as is evident from the hello charlotte series, so this is to be expected.

I want to discuss Rem, celestials and the Dithyrambs in this, saving conversations of Mari and the Choir for when I better understand it.

Rem is not human, he's a celestial - this is revealed in the noise ending, where he melts into his true form. We can also determine what type of celestial Rem is, from the way his form manifests.

Domain: Shadow; The Eldest. Distorts continuity, converting affected areas into liminal spaces.

Now, at first, I spent much of my time trying to associate these cards (and as such, the Celestials) to specific mental illnesses, but I realised it didn't work. While 'Domain: Post-Truth' (Card Type 3) could be associated with PTSD and 'Domain: Thighs' (Card Type 12) could be associated with body dysmorphia, many cards do not fit a specific mental illness, and much of them instead reference dissociation or other specific symptoms. It's somewhat implied Mari had the celestial present in Card Type 12.

It makes sense for a different universe to identify mental illness in a different way, considering there's little evidence that the characters have information on "pre-humanity". Instead of our current system surrounding mental health, the Choir demonises Celestials, and attempts to 'purify' them.

One particular line during the noise ending stands out to me.

"Tell me, how do I stop the noise in my head?"

Ori is not, by any means, a stable character. That's not to say Rem is stable, but Ori is somewhat less rational, losing his mind over the Choir and his Rosary. He devotedly follows the Conductor up until the noise ending, where he loses his grip on purity and reality, wanting to stay in the 'Dark' and '...play in the forest', rejecting the suppression of creativity by the Conductor.

The Dithyrambs is the noise in Ori's head - somewhat implied to be caused by the celestial. When Ori first wakes up, the Rosary insists that he must "...find the source of the Dithyrambs," perhaps implying that the Rosary is corrupt in the same way Ori and the Choir are, although it does not state to destroy the source. This noise causes Ori a lot of pain.

Alright. That is my discussion of the actual evidence present in the game. The next section is going to be a lot of personal speculation, on what I feel the game is representing.

I compare the relationship between Ori and Rem to that of Charles and Scarlett in Hello Charlotte 3, although it is framed differently. Instead of Rem being portrayed as horrific and irrational, Rem is scared, small; humanised, distrustful.

I believe that Scarlett Eyler and Rem represent fundamentally the same thing - intrusive thoughts, anxiety and OCD. Unlike Scarlett, who is fixated on tormenting Charles, Rem's representation of this manifests toward himself, and his desire to be caged for safety.

Fundamentally, OCD is a disorder surrounding fear. As much as it feels like your brain just, absolutely fucking hates you, it's as scared as you are. In a similar way, Rem is terrified of the liminal hotel that he and Ori reside in, and he's terrified of the outside world. He responds by shutting himself away - rather than Ori's desire to reach the end of the veils, Rem begins the game locked in a bathroom, and must be coaxed out.

Rem is incredibly "human" for a nonhuman being. Humanisation of intrusive thoughts is an interesting concept, especially considering the demon Scarlett Eyler was in HC3. Rem is far more disconnected from Ori, far more skeptical of the world around them. Rem isn't there to punish, but more to question and doubt, contrasting with Ori's inherently trusting nature.

Hmm. I feel like I haven't properly explained it, but I hope it somewhat makes sense.

Despite that, this is just my own interpretation of it, and I don't feel it really aligns with the game, necessarily. It's just me. lol.

song i listened to while writing:

I'm back again, although it's been a while since I've written anything. I'm waiting on more Dreamscape chapters to formulate an analysis on Mari.

Omori Spoilers and Omori Manga Spoilers under the cut

Mari as a character is left mostly up to speculation by the player - which is partially a fault on the creators' part, but is also somewhat deliberate to allow for consumer projection and exploration. Because she's left so open, I want to explore a personal headcanon of mine - that Mari has OCD.

Disclaimer: This is my opinion! I may be wrong! I am a human and I am wrong sometimes! I do have OCD, but my experiences and how I write about them are not necessarily indicative of all people with OCD.

I want to pre-establish here that doing things that I market as "compulsive" is not necessarily compulsive behaviour, and it does not necessarily mean you experience OCD. The reality is, we can't know if Mari has OCD, or any disorder, because we don't get any insight into her mind. Cognition and thinking patterns are vital to a diagnosis of OCD. If you like to play the piano over and over again, you might just enjoy playing the piano. As with anything, if it's causing you distress, please seek a therapist!

Mari has three prevalent character traits that could potentially link to anxiety of some form - her perfectionism, tying into her compulsive piano playing; and her responsibility as the "mother" of the group. From these three traits, I think I can somewhat develop an argument for Mari having OCD.

Mari is a perfectionist; this is explicitly stated multiple times in the game. It's practically the only "negative" trait (or, rather, trait that comes with a downside) given to her, and despite that, it's still painted in a glorified light. It's somewhat implied that the recital day's events occurred due to this perfectionism, but we will discuss the piano playing later.

Now, OCD is not perfectionism, and mixing them up leads to horrific misinformation about the illness. But OCD can lead to perfectionism in specific instances. Let's say Mari believes if she doesn't play the recital perfectly, she'll be a failure and a terrible person. While it seems like an extreme jump between the two ideas, and it might feel so irrational to her, something in the back of her head just won't let that idea go. To feel more confident in her playing, she keeps playing it, over and over and over again. Every time she gains some confidence, she loses it just as fast, trapping her in a little cycle at that piano. In this case, we can see how an irrational intrusive thought could lead to perfectionistic tendencies in a person - and can see a rational cognitive explanation for Mari's behaviour.

I also want to talk about an aspect of OCD that isn't commonly spoken about - taking responsibility to an extreme extent. When we discuss mental disorders, we tend to talk about where they begin and how to treat them; but with disorders like OCD, it's actually important to consider how they continue. Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, but there are several factors that increase the likelihood of believing them. One of them is the idea that one must take responsibility for their own intrusive thoughts - "if something bad is going to happen, I have to be the one to fix it".

Some people are naturally very self-reliant, and this can be for a number of reasons. I see this in Mari in the responsibility she holds over her brother and her friend group - she's the pinnacle of their rationality, keeping an eye on them (even in Headspace, which mimics some reality), and she's the one to save Sunny from drowning during the day of the Phobias' creation. Mari is fifteen, but holds so much pressure to monitor her friends, so it's not impossible to believe that worrying over her brother would cause intrusive thoughts. OCD is sometimes exacerbated after traumatic experiences, and having to save your younger brother from drowning is a lot to go through. Maybe she became more overprotective later on - not that I really have any evidence for that, since we don't have the most lucid perspective on Mari throughout the game.

I don't really have any way to reasonably conclude this, but I will say, I can recognise that a lot of this is projection. I have OCD. It's very difficult to see representation of complex OCD in media, since it's so hard to convey what intrusive thoughts and unobvious compulsions feel like, so it's nice to be able to give it to a character. But I feel like it has some basis in the real game, and could genuinely provide an interesting headcanon for people to use.

I dunno. You tell me.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR HELLO CHARLOTTE 3

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of severe mental illness, including intrusive thoughts and psychosis. Please be warned if this may cause you to spiral out of control, and take care of yourself.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of this is coming from my personal experience and understanding of OCD. While I do not experience DID, I don't really focus much on it in this, more reframing Scarlett Eyler as a character. You can take Charles' experiences however you feel is accurate.

I feel like the fandom gets tripped up when Charles calls Scarlett Eyler a tulpa.

I've seen a lot of people state that this quote directly implies Charles has DID, and that's therefore canon. But I'd actually like to propose a different take, that Scarlett is a physical manifestation of Charles' intrusive thoughts.

First of all, a tulpa implies a sense of desire - it is willingly created through spiritual meditation. Scarlett is, in no way, a desired existence that haunts Charles. There is some debate as to whether or not the game was originally in Russian or English, but regardless, tulpa just may be what Charles refers to the phenomenon as. It's not as if this directly confirms anything, as we know in-game Charles is only diagnosed with autism, and takes medication for psychosis.

Charles experiences many symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD in particular. He is intensely preoccupied with purity and disease, insisting that the majority of the population has a "parasite", aside from a select few people (Vincent being one of them, and by the end, the only one).

OCD and psychosis have several unique overlaps when acting as comorbid conditions. It has a relatively high comorbidity, due to both conditions often suffering with heightened paranoia. I couldn't find any research which suggests it can cause the hallucination of intrusive thoughts, but OCD does make people more susceptible to hallucinatory disorders, and vice versa.

Many people with OCD, especially those who have experienced symptoms since being a child, start to conceptualise these thoughts as a being - appearing as imaginary friends which act and react negatively. It definitely happened to me - I genuinely thought I had DID for a year or so of my life, because I had this voice in my head that hated me, and it didn't feel like myself. As a child, it just felt like my own mind was trying to bully me, and I didn't understand why.

We know that Scarlett Eyler is the instigator of "punishment" for Charles' actions...

This sort of "punishing" is very reminiscent of OCD. The rule-breaking itself is confusing to an outsiders, and the punishments even more so. However, I find this rule-and-punishment system very relatable, and OCD can often manifest in this way. There was a period of time where I was tormented by this myself.

Scarlett also doesn't exhibit typical alter behaviour. She never takes over, Charles doesn't seem to lose time, she does little more than act as a harsh observer, and also physically threaten Charles. She seems very real to him, aside from the fact that he knows taking pills will make her "disappear".

For Charles, Scarlett is simply a being who threatens and instigates intrusive thoughts, but in a particular way. Charles still experiences other intrusive thoughts - Scarlett never discusses the parasites, even though that's a very prevalent fear of Charles'.

Scarlett is the manifestation of intrusive thought that Charles is a failure, rather than being a separate existence to Charles.

my little rat analysis lmaoooo. this was my first hello charlotte one, i've always loved charles, he means a lot to me as a character.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF DEATH, CAR ACCIDENTS, KIDNAPPING AND CHILD ABUSE

READING-THIS WARNING: THROUGHOUT THIS, THERE IS AN ASSUMPTION YOU HAVE SOME IDEA OF RELEVANT PETSCOP THEORIES. IF ANYTHING DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND A WRITE-UP OF THE THEORY ON REDDIT. ALSO, I'M BAD AND MAY MINSINTERPRET OR NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING.

READING-THIS WARNING 2: THIS IS VERY RAMBLY. LIKE, SUPER RAMBLY. SORRY.

Alright. Petscop. That's a dead kid.

I've spent about two days running down a rabbithole with this series, trying to ignore the sheer horror of it all. It's fascinating in the way it captures this despite being so metaphorical - it reminds me of Yume Nikki and Chapter 12 of Dreamscape, which as we already know, I love and understand very well.

Anyway, I've been reading nonstop theories about this game for some time, trying my best to make sense of it all. And after a few sleepless nights, I think I'm ready to get into analytical about Petscop.

What better way to get rid of that sinking feeling of horror than to write about it?

I don't believe in the supernatural - I probably never will - but instead I believe in the power of coincidence. It's very probable that strange things happen sometimes, but they can all be explained, and we have a tendency to see patterns in the chaos. Things are often more simple than they seem.

Obviously, because Petscop and the world surrounding it are fictitious, the potential that something irrational or out-of-this-world occurred is much higher. However, I want to demonstrate that the idea that it is all reality is far more horrifying than pretending it's all a few ghosts and time travel.

The series clearly draws on the idea that Paul knows (some of) the people mentioned within the game, and is even implied to be a part of the family himself.

If it's not ghosts and time travel... then what's the point of Petscop?

evaluating some petscop theories that imply reality

Paul alludes several times to the game being haunted, or at least it trying to trick him into thinking it's haunted, but he seems unconvinced. He also alludes to the possibility of AI within the game, which is likely too complicated for the game being developed in ~1995-6.

What is a more likely theory surrounding both of these is that a singular game can be accessed from multiple consoles by multiple players, which also explains the prevalence of DEMO recordings and the interactions between Marvin/Belle/the Pink TOOL and Paul. The Pink TOOL is not literally the ghost of Mike trying to communicate with Paul, but rather Belle (considering the handwriting's similarities to Draw Mode) communicating with Paul.

Paul could potentially be Care, but is suffering amnesia as a result of trauma inflicted on him, where the goal of the game (from Rainer's perspective) is to help Paul uncover the truth of his past. There's plenty of debate surrounding the "trans theory" that I'm not really interested in getting into, but the game definitely links Paul and Care, particularly in the "Care-with-Mike's-Eyebrows" room, as well as events in the house aligning with events Paul states he has experienced, and their exact same birthday. I don't know if I agree with the twin theory, but that itself is more plausible than other proposed supernatural theories linking the two.

Both Belle and Care are implied to have been kidnapped (by Marvin?) and forced to undergo some sort of rebirthing therapy (potentially involving the Needles Piano) inside an abandoned elementary school. The rebirthing is implied to be Marvin's attempt to bring back the late Lina, It's possible that the DEMO recordings of Belle are taken during her kidnapping, as the game has reportedly been left on for ~17 years.

Much of the confusion surrounding Lina's death is related to the windmill - how did it and Lina simply disappear, and why is she "unable to be seen"? However, the game makes regular references to car accidents, and Lina's grave says "They didn't see her", which suggests that perhaps she was hit by a car, unseen by the driver, and buried in an unmarked grave (possibly by Marvin, since he knows where it is). Alternatively, the idea that Lina died stuck in a machine within the windmill still alludes to reality.

The game itself is very deliberate, and after Mike dies in 1995, it seems as though Rainer continued it to expose Marvin ("I started it in 1996, for Marvin"). If we consider the possibility that multiple players can access the game from differing perspectives, and the game can track their movements, then Rainer had different purposes for each player. It's suggested that the game reflects real world places, so taking that into account, we can try to determine the purpose of these.

During the segment where Marvin is given a speed boost, it seems as though Rainer wants to know the location of Lina's grave, and perhaps expose Marvin for his kidnapping and child abuse. He also provides deliberate messages to Belle during her demo sections, seemingly trying to break her out of the Newmaker Plane. Paul's journey also seems to surround exposing what Marvin has done, or at least trying to highlight what is in the School and what happened to Care (who may be Paul himself). These goals may correspond with the 'cycles' that were noted in the Comprehensive Progress Document.

The game is also implied to be an elaborate suicide note - the Pet description for Care A ends with, "Fuck you all, and fuck me as well. Merry Christmas. Check your bathroom now.", which is signed by Rainer. This, along with some events in the House, suggest this game might be an exploration of Rainer's guilt over working with Marvin on the rebirthing process.

Time is particularly prevalent during the game - the colours of the calendars representing different years, for example - but it is still distinguished, which is to note. This suggests that time travel isn't necessarily occurring.

reality as a pathway to trauma procession

Allusions to reality in texts can act as a path for characters to begin trauma procession, which may be the intentions of deliberately connecting Paul and Care within Petscop. The idea of things being realistic is infinitely more horrifying that unrealism, because unrealism forces a disconnection between the viewer and the events unfolding.

This is actually the reason why I really dislike the idea that Basil was dream-sharing with Sunny, or Spirit Mari is literally Mari's spirit trying to communicate with Sunny - it's because it misses the presentation of forgiveness, abandonment and regret in the text. Stranger is a representation of guilt over leaving Basil behind, and Spirit Mari is a representation of Sunny's hidden desire for forgiveness.

Taking things as the supernatural in this type of game tends to make you overlook the purpose of their existence. For example, blankly taking the Pink TOOL's words as Mike from the grave misses the discovery that they are Belle's previous attempts to connect with the outside world.

It's easy to miss the finer details this way, which is why I've always disliked these theories. There's more to it, keep digging!

special thanks to the giant document on the Petscop reddit that details everything.

i'll admit it, this was just a big excuse for me to write about what i think petscop is about... jhshjsjhshjs.

song i listened to while writing this: YY by 23.exe.

i'm such a pussy that i need to blast upbeat vocaloid music when thinking about Petscop. isn't it so weird that i absolutely adore psychological horror but i'm a massive wimp who can barely sit through it?

okay this is spoilers for the omori dreamscape au but i thought it was really really really funny and i edited it and i'm notoriously cool and epic.

art by @omoriboii obviously

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.

READING-THIS WARNING: I MISINTERPRET STUFF A LOT, THIS IS PURELY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE SERIES. SORRY IF I'M WRONG. :(

When I first watched through Parties are for Losers and its respective songs, my brain was already whirring. Come on. I'm a Vocaloid nerd, obviously I have to look into it, and I know something is up, which means the analysis brain begins. I really enjoyed the Evillous Chronicles, and it seemed as though this was similar. Unlike it, this was actually in English (being set in Russia), and the narrative felt inherently more understandable, although that may just be because it's only 13 songs, compared to Evillous' 82.

AND it covers topics of biology and its affects on psychology. it's perfect. why have i never heard of this before??!?!?!?

There's a lot of aspects to explore within PafL, but I want to specifically focus on Katya (KT) and Dmitry, and their mutations, taking a biological and social approach to their current mental state. I will refer to Katya by her full "name" because it feels a little more humanising, and our baby girl deserves that.

Human experimentation/mutation is a fascinating topic to explore, because it questions the essence of humanity itself - how could you do that to another human being, a child, no less? End and Save is one of my favourite webtoon comics because of this. The abilities that these children gain typically have significant disadvantages, due to the inherently unethical nature of the creation. In some ways, the mutation itself explores corruption.

Biologically, genetic mutations are a natural occurrence, resultant from selection. We are nowhere near the current level needed to cause significant mutation like that of Katya and Dmitry's, and despite what most people think, there's actually no real intention to head in that direction. Therapeutic gene editing (LITERALLY MY SPECIALISED INTEREST. LIKE I WANT TO GO INTO THIS IN THE FUTURE. THIS IS PERFECT.) strays away from eugenics, and focuses on curing genetic disease. It's a fascinating topic of research, and one I hold dear to me. CRISPR my beloved

Katya's mutant ability is directly related to stress. It causes the extensive growth of tissue when she's in a stressful situation, and she has limited control over the flesh. This then has to be cut off, leaving serious wounds to heal on her skin.

art by Ferry

Taking this biologically, it would have to be mutation related to extreme cell division in tissue - in more simple terms, it's not unlike cancer, where a cell does not consider the required markers for division, and instead rapidly divides. Katya's seems far more controlled than cancer, sticking only to particular sites, and also significantly more extreme. Considering the stress required, it may actually be related to an influx of hormonal changes during stress sequences.

As a result of this, Katya is hypersensitive to the emotion of others and can tolerate a high amount of stress, with inherent optimism. She's relatively simple, and tries her best not to let her abilities weigh her down. In the end, she resigns herself to undeserving of true kindness, suggesting she has some well-hidden low self-esteem.

Dmitry's mutant ability seems more controllable, and therefore powerful, than Katya's. He has the ability to pick up anything, with vague limitations on weight, provided he knows specific location and it is within a 15 metre radius.

art by Ferry

Telekinesis from a biological standpoint? I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm not even gonna try. Make it up yourself. I'm pretty sure A Certain Scientific Railgun couldn't even really explain Kuroko's powers, and I'm one small scrawny rat.

Dmitry suffers severe physical consequences as a result of this ability, even using it regularly - severe headaches, loss of consciousness, and dizziness, which can been seen when he attempts to save Anya. Dmitry is significantly more cautious of the outside world than Katya is, and he's somewhat more hostile, threatening Yura and Sanya when he is blackmailed. However, he's practical, likely from the skills taught to him through use of telekinesis.

Dmitry and Katya were set out to have a negative relationship, due to the power dynamics between the two of them making them inherently different people. Dmitry was used for several years as an "assistant" to test Katya's abilities, and seems to hold a grudge with her over that. They have differing opinions on the outside world, particularly due to the way Dmitry's inhumanity was repeated to him often, as the lab researchers began to fear his power. He's not so pessimistic that he acts as contrast to Katya, but the clashing elements still causes them to go their separate ways in KT's Guide.

I couldn't find any specific links between the use of GUMI as KT and Fukase as Dmitry, but I'm sure there is some when considering the different Vocaloids used as a whole. I just wish I could understand what it was, but I don't quite know enough about Vocaloid as a whole for that. Alternatively, it could just be because of gender and the fact that both sound good with the style of the song.

song i wrote this listening to (after PafL, of course): sleep thru ur alarms by Lontalius

it's been a rough night, okay? i needed this as a distraction.