#sempernap

Ok, I have to ask: is the world's ugliest vase an actual title or more like a personal evaluation?

I like to think of it as an accurate critical statement, although I admit I haven’t seen every vase in the world. Its actual title is the Londonderry Vase. 

The problem is that it’s so much worse in person -- like it’s really impossible to convey the ugliness through photographs. You have to get the combined effect of scale, decor, and form all at once, and you can usually only ever get two of those in one place. For example, this is the photo on the ARTIC’s website: 

Now, that’s to me some very unattractive decor, but I will admit that plenty of people have probably seen uglier (the birds-on-picklesgarlands near the top I actually quite like). The paint and texture are awkwardly sectioned off from each other, the painted parts aren’t very visually unified, and there’s a lot of very strange negative space, but plenty of objects d’art are weirdly painted. The shape, while clunky, is a classically recognizable shape. 

What you can’t tell from that photograph is that in the gallery it’s four and a half feet tall and mounted on a two foot tall plinth. 

It’s fucking enormous. So what looks like delicate detail work in the first photo turns out to be a fairly large visual presentation when you add in scale. Also, there’s a real cognitive dissonance in the concept of a “vase” being taller than a fourth grader. But it’s hard to see the true appearance of the vase in any photo that shows scale. It just looks like a big fake architectural vase with some paint on it, and from a distance even the awkwardness of form isn’t that evident. 

It’s only when you stand in front of it and it looms over you, enormous and detailed and horrifying, that you truly come to understand its innate hideousness. It’s so ugly it’s admirable because you couldn’t do that intentionally, which means it’s in earnest. It’s artless in its hideousness, which lends it a certain charm.

This is a great moment to check a bit of info on financial literacy. TFD ( the financial diet) or Broke Millennial are both good YouTube channels.

Wait, you have a donut, a tortilla wrap and a loaf pillow? No wonder your kitty is doing the loaf thing. Master of disguise.

You know, my interior decor is trending heavily towards breadstuffs....

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photoset “Cats on cushions. [Description: two images; in the first, Dearborn is...”

They are so cute! How do you stand it? I’d be �� all the time.

Oh believe me, I 100% am. Sometimes I look at them and love them so much that I vow definitely not to murder them the next time one of them pukes on the bookshelf. :D 

kimmiesue13 replied to your photoset “Cats on cushions. [Description: two images; in the first, Dearborn is...”

Love these babies! But I'm laughing at the poster above Polk's ear, which looks like nothing so much as...a penis.

AHAHAHAH I suppose it does, you’re right. It’s actually an airplane -- I think a Mustang? I’d need to look it up. That’s a poster for All My Sons, an Arthur Miller play I worked on in undergrad -- it deals with the fallout from war profiteering during WWII specifically in regards to airplanes. 

srprincess replied to your photo “copperbadge: copperbadge: deannafanafofana: copperbadge: I’m...”

Marginally related - have you tried Canada dry’s new bold ginger ale?

No, I hadn’t even heard of such a thing! I don’t usually drink full-sugar soda so I can’t imagine I’d like it, but if I see it I’ll try it out :D

froofie replied to your photo “I caught a whale shark in Animal Crossing and can’t stop laughing....”

Do you live inside a honeycomb Sam?

That’s my “science room”! I thought the honeycomb wallpaper was appropriate, and also I like how warm it makes the room look. 

arukou-arukou replied to your photo “I caught a whale shark in Animal Crossing and can’t stop laughing....”

You shall have to make your own aquarium.

I wish! I was planning to until I realized they make one for you. My theme for my island is “tacky entertainment park” -- it’s basically built around the idea of cheesy roadside attractions you find off the highway. So there might be a Sharkland or something! Right now the two I’ve started building are Scale Land, where it’s basically just a maze path full of things that aren’t the right size (the small lighthouse, giant teddybears, etc) and Dino Camp, which is the campground they make you install, but all around it are dinosaur skeletons that are poorly and incorrectly assembled. 

The first thing you see when you get off the plane are a) a pizza stand and b) a vending machine. :D

fruitgoat replied to your photo “Polk likes to hide under the sheets and pretend she’s an assassin...”

She also looks like she’s about to jump off the bed and wants to make sure she can land in the convenient pile of laundry, er, I mean, haystack.

Ooh! Nice, where did you get them?

It’s a site called esalerugs.com -- they’re family owned, reasonably cheap, and they have a ton of varieties. I’ve had good luck with them -- last time I had to delay a delivery and they were super nice on the phone. 

sempernap replied to your photoset “NEW RUGS. Blue one is under my desk to keep my feet warm this winter,...”

Rugs were never important until I moved on my own. Then I discovered how hard was to get a decent, esthetically pleasing rug for a reasonable price.

RIGHT? I saw the price of a rug at Bed Bath & Beyond when I got my first place in Chicago and almost lost my mind. Ikea has good cheap ones, though, and esalerugs does too. These ran me $19 for the blue one, $24 for the orange, both are 2′x3′.

lostwendy replied to your photoset “NEW RUGS. Blue one is under my desk to keep my feet warm this winter,...”

Those are nice!

Please tell me you won't be embroidering your facemasks with Memento Mori. Too on-the-nose, Sam.

LOL no. Well, okay, one. But it’s one that can’t be used anyway because it’s too patchworky -- every 10 masks or so I make an “art mask” that’s not really meant to be worn, and that’s one of those. 

memprime replied to your photo “I got a new sewing machine and it does embroidery. [Description:...”

What happened to the Singer machine, what is the make and model of the new one, and have you named it yet?

The old Fashionmate is sitting next to the workbench; I’m going to give it a good wipe down and store it somewhere, because after all it is still functional and it’s good to have a spare :D The new one is also a Singer, the QUANTUM STYLIST, and I got it open-box for slightly cheaper than it’s going for now. I haven’t named it; I never named the old one, it was always just The Sewing Machine, but perhaps I will come up with one. 

I was advised against getting a Singer because the quality has gone down, and most of the parts aren’t metal anymore, but I realized that while I do care about quality I also do a fairly limited amount of fairly simple sewing, so I didn’t need anything more durable than this one. I do have all kinds of heart eyes over it; it’s got a drop-in bobbin, threading is super easy, there’s even a needle-threader lever, and it has both tacked start-stop with a push of a button, and an automatic thread trimmer. I’m very excited about it. :D And it only took me about an hour to get from “opening the box” to “fully functional sewing machine I know how to use” which was my real worry. 

justgot1 replied to your post “World events for me, age 21-40: World-altering act of violence causing...”

Well good to know I’ll be dead by the time we hit the civil war! ��

I mean, find silver linings where you can. :D And we’ll probably live to the Gay Nineties! 

sempernap replied to your photo “I HAVE MASTERED EMULSIFICATION. It turns out it’s super easy when you...”

What's the difference between this and alioli?

Aioli usually still makes use of an egg as an emulsifier, then has garlic added for flavor. I mean depending on your definition of aioli you could certainly call it that, but it’s just...also known as toum. :D 

cactusspatz replied to your photo “I HAVE MASTERED EMULSIFICATION. It turns out it’s super easy when you...”

*squints* Oh hey, I literally just bought that same food processor, only in red! It just arrived yesterday, glad it comes with a Sam seal of approval for when I get a chance to try it out ;)

That machine should do just fine. They’re not bad machines, it’s just the quality isn’t the same, that’s all. But for your sewing needs, that should be perfect.

That was my thought. And I couldn’t pass up the sale :D 

eimearkuopio replied to your photo “Ceph-urn-opod. ”

Cephalopot

GOD DAMMIT

sempernap replied to your post “goldenmeme replied to your photo “I got a new sewing machine and it...”

Ah, true spanish alioli has nothing but garlic and oil (sometimes lemon). I've always found it hard to properly emulsify so I guess that's why some recipes use egg.

Kraft m&c tastes like betrayal (and way too sweet for a savoury meal). It tastes nothing like it did in the 90's. If someone can tell me how to tweak the recipe so it tastes like it used to I would be happy

Do you know when you noticed the flavor profile shift? Kraft did an overhaul of the ingredients of their mac and cheese somewhere around 2013-2014, but at that time they mostly just replaced the artificial colors with less highly processed ones (turmeric instead of yellow 5, etc) and removed some of the preservatives. They also adjusted the grains balance in their pasta, I think. But if you noticed the flavor shift earlier, then it’s probable what you’re noticing (especially the sweetness) has to do with some kind of change in how the various dairy products in the cheese powder were processed or extracted.

You might try buying straight dehydrated cheese powder from a spice store or bulk supplier and using that with milk/butter or cream to make the sauce. I don’t think it will make it taste how it used to, but it will at least be less sweet, in theory. 

lightninging replied to your post “this is a silly question, but what do you mean, "the flavor profiles...”

that sounds like wisconsonian beer cheese soup but with mac noodles in???? i am extremely down for that

RIGHT. The best possible thing to add to a beer cheese soup would be NOODLES. 

auressea replied to your post “Double decker cryptids! [Description: Dearborn is sitting on the back...”

Why does Deebs look so startled in this pic? is it just her markings?

It has aged better than JK Rowling 's Twitter...

I mean, who hasn’t, though. :D 

saekokato replied to your post “bisexuhowl replied to your post “Hey Sam, that UPenn thing is actually...”

Transforming into a shower of sparkles *and* sprinkles, with their owner sighing and grumbling as he has to vacuum up the sprinkles before his girls transform back and try to eat the sprinkles? Or maybe its just paw shaped glitter that just *doesn't* disappear (like regualr glitter, just more fab and magical girl-ish)?