#semanticsatiation

Gestaltzerfall (German for "shape decomposition" or Gestalt decomposition[1]) is a type of visual agnosia and is a psychological phenomenon where delays in recognition are observed when a complex shape is stared at for a while as the shape seems to decompose into its constituting parts. [See: Gestalt Decomposition] 

Gather around, children. Let’s have a chat. I want to point out the obvious to you because, as obvious as the obvious is, there’s a large group of people who obviously aren’t getting it. What’s “it,” you wonder?

“That’s so gay.” “You’re gay.” “It’s gay.” “Gaygaygaygaygay.” I’m suffering from semantic satiation; I hear it so often.

“We’re having that talk?” You groan. Yes, out of necessity.

Do I walk up to you and call you a piano? No. Why? Because that doesn’t make any sense—unless you’re a piano, in which case I apologize. Which, you know, it’s fine if you are. It’s illogical for me to approach you, Hypothetical Example Person, and call you a piano because you aren’t one. However, being illogical is worse than being illogical and hateful. If I walked up to you and called you a piano and meant to call you an idiot, I’ve not only insulted you (or attempted to in an inaccurate manner) but I’ve insulted pianos. I’ve implied that pianos are by nature attached to stupidity—implied that the terms are synonymous. A piano is an inanimate object that cannot be incarnated to my knowledge and therefore is a pointless insult to direct at an individual.

So why is it that I hear you, Hypothetical Example Person, calling homework gay? Does your homework have a sexual orientation? Is it attracted to other homework of the same sex? Is your homework engaging in sexual activity with other homework at all? Who is your teacher? You may be thinking that I’m being finicky. I am but for good reason. Because, realistically, when people say things like, “Oh, I don’t mean it like that,” it’s an attempt to dismiss harmful behavior and folks, I’m just not willing to let Hypothetical Example Person off the hook. It’s mindless ignorance saying, “You don’t get it. When you say gay now-a-days, you mean something’s stupid or lame or whatever.” When you say gay, you’re referring to individuals who are attracted to the same sex. By calling something you find “stupid or lame or whatever” gay, you’re flat-out saying gay people are “stupid or lame or whatever;” which makes me want to call you a piano but I won’t bring myself down to your level, Hypothetical Example Person.

There’s a larger problem with calling things and people you don’t like a certain group. To quote comedian Simon Amstell, I don’t tell people to “bloody Jew off,” because that’s offensive and absurd. You’re turning characteristics, cultures, individual human beings into derisive, scorned, shame-instilling slurs and that’s shameful. You’re telling kids that being gay is stupid, undesirable, weird, different, not normal, and I have to ask you, Hypothetical Example Person, what made you decide that the only acceptable values in our society are the ones that directly apply to you? Should we segregate brunettes and strip them of their rights because you’re not one and that’s weird? It’s as arbitrary as that. Why are you so invested in who other people are having sex with? Do you knock on your neighbor’s door and ask if they’re using condoms? If they use toys? What positions they particularly enjoy? How often they have sex? No? That’s probably because it’s none of your business and it doesn’t affect you.

And for those of you sitting there going, “That’s not natural,” I can tell you neither are many people’s hair colors, but I don’t see you going after Clairol shoppers. What’s natural is subjective and once again, doesn’t concern you, Hypothetical Example Person. And the worst part is that many of the people calling others gay legitimately claim that it’s simply a joke or a not a big deal. If I personally attacked part of your identity, you’d probably be annoyed when I proceeded to dismiss it. The fact is, you just don’t have the authority to stroll around proclaiming what’s normal, natural, or acceptable and neither does anyone else.

Besides calling everything gay, there’s this notion floating around that it’s appropriate to call someone gay when they’ve acted as what socio-normative and hetero-normative society has defined as “feminine.” If a male is acting weak, whiny, or even enjoying certain hobbies or interests, suddenly the individual is gay. Apparently, people have once again misunderstood the basic definition of homosexuality, which strictly refers to same-sex attraction. Firstly, there’s the issue that people have decided to put on tunnel-vision and can only comprehend sexuality from a heterosexual perspective. “Who’s the woman in the relationship?” is just about the most moronic question I’ve ever heard—if it’s a gay relationship, clearly no one is a woman in the relationship, which is what makes the relationship gay. Stop trying to turn concepts you don’t understand into what directly applies to you, Hypothetical Example Person. There is no woman. Gasp.

 Also, as a woman, I’m extremely frustrated that I have to pull out my soap box to point out the obvious yet again: just what exactly do you mean by who’s the woman? Just by asking this question, you’re implying that there are prescribed roles a woman should be acting out in a relationship because she does not possess a penis. If that doesn’t sound illogical, you might be a piano, Hypothetical Example Person. You’re also implying that in a relationship, a woman must do these things, and womanly tasks must be performed in order for a relationship to exist. Newsflash, the only womanly task that exists is that which relate to our anatomy, just as the only manly tasks that exist are that which relate to your anatomy. It’s shocking, I know, but everything else is social construction. I have a vagina and you, Hypothetical Example Person, either have a vagina or a penis, which makes you female or male, respectively. We can’t really argue that and it’s more or less a given. Otherwise, we’re talking about what society has decided is socially acceptable for those who have vaginas and those who have penises. Stop giggling, Hypothetical Example Person. When a male does something that is considered “feminine” and he is called gay, there is a reinforcement of the idea that not only being gay is unnatural and lesser than being masculine and heterosexual, but so is being feminine; it perpetuates the false accusation that homosexuality and femininity are related. One strong relation from the insult is that they’re both undesirable and males are somehow above homosexuality and femininity. Being feminine should not mean performing domestic tasks and acting generally childish—whiny, needy, clingy, approval-seeking, coddling, etc.—and if we’ve decided that this is the meaning of femininity, we should stop assigning it to the female sex and stop assuming that homosexual males are somehow related to the inferior traits society has decided to prescribe to women. I’m getting off my soap box now. Phew.

The next time you hear “that’s gay,” “It’s gay,” “gaygaygaygay,” I hope it’s about a male piano that is crushing on another male piano, or, better yet, you can refer to two male men who are sexually attracted to one another. Pat yourself on the back for not disgracing the English language and those who aren’t a carbon copy of you, Hypothetical Example Person.