#selfshipdom

“You want me to call you that for the rest of the night?” suddenly their arms shoot out and grab you.

Victor Frankenstein (from Victor Frankenstein (2015))

*Victor is 5’ 7” and I’m 5’ 1”, so when we hug my head rests on his chest when he is standing. Victor says I give the best and warmest hugs ever. I say that Victor gives the best and the deepest hugs ever.

*Victor can act in selfish and/or manipulative ways at times, but he does his best to not treat me in manipulative ways. I do my best to help him curb these behaviors. I tend to belittle myself a lot when I get frustrated. Victor helps me deal with my anxieties and to not belittle myself (he says it breaks his heart when I do).

*He adores having long conversations on various interesting subjects with me and I adore it when he gets expressive/animated talking about the subjects he enjoys the most.

*Victor is incredibly romantic to me, such as gifting me with books I show interest in, surprising me with flower bouquets, or gifting me with jewelry or pashmina scarves. He will even write me love letters, poetry, or love notes!

*Victor was raised Jewish (Ashkenazi, though he is not a religious man. I was also raised Jewish (Ashkenazi) and am religious. We have interesting theological discussions regarding our differing opinions about religion and occasionally Victor will go to shul with me only because it makes me happy when he comes with me.

*Victor enjoys reading aloud to me from books he or I have interest in while I cuddle against him. I usually fall asleep because listening to his voice as well as hearing his heartbeat and feeling his breathing is a soothing combination. I will also read aloud to Victor because I enjoy doing it and Victor loves how animated I get when reading my favorite books.

*Victor gives the most passionate kisses! My knees go weak when we kiss, which is frequently! Victor says that I give the sweetest kisses. Oh, when he kisses my hands, he is so romantic! He is loving and tender as he kisses my hands while looking up at me with his ocean blue eyes. I enjoy making Victor blush by returning the favor when I kiss his hands and look up at him. Victor says that when I kiss his hands, it makes his heart skip a beat.

*He loves dancing with me! We dance a lot whenever we have the chance, tiring ourselves out which leads to snuggles at home! During balls or other social outings, Victor and I also sit and talk a lot with each other, and/or with our friends if they are in attendance, in between sets of dancing!

*Victor and I are both Autistic and have trouble with social cues, though we are helping each other figure that out. We both also stim a lot and love talking to each other about our special interests (his: life sciences and human anatomy; me: flower language, Jewish folk magic, and global mythologies). Victor will forget to eat and sleep when he hyperfocuses, so I help him to care for his needs. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder so Victor helps me deal with that.

self induljence 🤍💜

bonus, sans being a heathen in my soulbond au:

   Imagine having an immortal/long-lived F/O. How excited they used to be in their younger years, an eternity before them....and how the years slowly wore them down. Becoming the pessimist you later meet.

   You remind them of the glory of the world and universe. Remind them what it's like to be amazed at the little things. To appreciate blooming flowers, the still-present shimmers in the stars; some long dead, but we don't know it yet. Don't see it. A vast universe meant to make us feel so small....and hey, here we are, right?       How enchanted they become with you. Smiling more, smiling again as you remind them of the beauty of the world they're in. That they'll be with for who-knows how many years longer.

   ....Fighting your views with their old ones, when you're older. When the world is prying you from their hands.       You taught them how to love again... How are they supposed to go back to that lonely existence?! What are they going to do without you to remind them of the beauty they forgot?!? If they forgot.....what if they forget this beauty, too...?

    How gently you smiled at them. A soft touch to the cheek... "If you can remember...how lovely the world is...... Then I'll be like you, won't I?"

   .......They're devastated when you pass. Inconsolable, for the longest time. But a rumor eventually spreads of a person who speaks of deep, profound wisdom. Who reminds people who have lost their way that there will still be good things. Who stargazes every night, looking for dying stars they can't see yet.