#self-quarantine

- you join a zoom call. everyone’s mic is muted, but no one is talking anyway. you stare at the squares with faces in them. which is your face? you can’t be sure.

- the news is full of numbers. you try to learn what they mean, but the articles are full of jargon from fields you have no experience in, and you swear the numbers change when you blink. 

- you wake up. you sleep. you wake up. you sleep. how many days was that? you have no idea.

- you go for a walk. a shadow follows you down the street, moving when you move, stopping when you stop. always the recommended six feet away.

- every day you get several emails from corporations you’ve never heard of. each company name sounds fake, too vague, too optimistic. “Stay healthy! :)” they say. “We’re committed to keeping you safe! You must stay healthy! We love you very much! We learned everything about you so we can keep you safe! Please believe us we love you so much we’ r e  , s 0Rry:):)):))”  You try to unsubscribe, but the link just takes you to a blank black webpage. Suddenly, you can make out your reflection in the screen. What’s that over your shoulder?

I went through a period last year where I was underemployed and too broke to do anything except sit around on my phone all day. I developed really bad carpal tunnel, but I figured it would go away once I got back on my feet and stopped overusing my phone.

It didn't. Because I'd been burning out my wrist so much for so long, it couldn't recover when I went back to using it normally. Now, months later, my carpal tunnel has spread all the way up to my shoulder. My entire arm hurts all day, every day. My doctor thinks I might need surgery.

All because I didn't let my wrist rest when I was stuck at home and dying of boredom.