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Non-stop complaining to anyone who’ll listen to you while at the same time wallowing in self-pity & negativity is wrong. More so if you have no desire to solve the matter. Instead, try choosing thoughts that will lead to a solution. Remember the blessings He has bestowed on us.
Mufti Ismail Menk
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I’m a little drunk and getting a little into my self-pity attitude where I want to cut my self over the fact that I am definitely an asshole to everyone I ever loved or had a friendship with.
I want a dog so bad. She would be called Monsta and could follow me wherever I go. At night we would cuddle and at daytime we would play in the woods. I would take cute photos of her and get up early every morning to take her out and teach her to give high-five. But how could I take the responsibility of caring for a dog when I can´t even get my own life together. How can I promise to always be there for her when I don´t even know what I will be doing the next year.
I can be going along, having a good day and then BAM! Something triggers the anxiety and I'm full of insecurity and doubt and I wonder if i was actually happy or if I was just ignoring all the glaring problems with myself.
I just want this month to be over with.  Tomorrow is tax deadline, so it’s going to be nuts at work tomorrow.  The other two people that usually help me out, somehow got the day off.  Why they let them have the day off on our busiest day is totally beyond me.  It’s leave me the only person to deal with all the angry people. That’s only going to get worse I’m sure when people send things in too late or send checks in wrong but will call and yell at me for their mistake.  Outside of work, things are not any better.  Every time I turn around something is broken and it needs replaced.  I’ve worked a lot of overtime (which will pretty much end this week) and I’ve been able to finally save some money, but then everything breaks and needs repair. Â
I’m just really disappointed at where I am in life right now and I don’t like the situation I’m in.  It’s much too personal for this blog and yet at the same time, I have no one to really talk to.  I guess I’ll just keep on putting on my happy face and pretending everything is okay and just hope that life turns around for me.
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Some pathetic self pitty to get off my chest
I'm so tired of being me right now. I think it's just time to give up on romance. I meet a girl online, I chat with her, she likes me. Then we meet, there's a great conversation, but every time I feel any kind of connection, she doesn't. Everyone I meet in real life treats me like I'm either about as romantically enticing as a sofa, or like they think I'm gay. Why does everyone think I'm gay? For fucks sake, why do I have to be an asshole before girls start to like me? The last time I had a bad day and confronted someone who was being a jerk, I was stopped and handed a phone number. But just being me....invisible. Or worse. There is something wrong with me. Online they can't see it, but in person it can't be hidden. I wish I knew what it was. I wish I could carve it out.
self-proclamation. skip this post if you will
you know that sayings like 'don't fall in the same hole' of sort? Because then you're as stupid as a donkey? Well, Â I am the kinda person who does no-less than three mistakes before I get it right.
Yeah I know right? I hate myself too. Such a waste of space on earth that I am. Ironically, I find myself needing more excuse than just being a donkey to actually end my life for the sake of you guys (sake of the whole thing in the multiverses bilateral what ever things, really). being a donkey is bad but its not enough, mother earth. Give me more reason to hate myself then I'll consider to end all this living shit off me I swear. Just give me more reason.
   Because its better than being in this state.
Useless but not pathetic enough to dump,
means nothing but still something enough not to be banned,
 being in between.
I disgust myself. So there's that.
