#self commitment

COMMITTING TO YOURSELF | KEEP YOUR INTERNAL PROMISES

Hello friends, 

This week I've been struggling with really prioritising my goals that are outside my 9 - 5 workday. 

I am a journalist, so my industry is very much touch and go and I am often working outside the 9 - 5 hours, making it a challenge to create the time to focus and work on my other goals. 

This is something I hated to discover and it definitely has put a damper on the process of other things I'm working on, particularly when I'm sitting behind a computer for much of the day - my eyes get tired and I'm ready to sleep by the end of it. 

To combat this I've been meditating in a mindful and intentional way - to help give myself the motivation to work on my other stuff; I've been actively trying to set small and achievable daily goals that all contribute to the long term success of my other goals and I've been consistently exercising in the morning to get my body energised and started to take on the day, but I still find it challenging to fit in my own things around the constraints and pressure of work.

I find myself often asking the question - why do I complete and commit to the tasks other people give me (i.e. my boss), but not to the ones I give myself? 

The answer to this is uncomfortable and sticky - there are consequences outside myself to not completing tasks assigned to me. 

“I would say I’m sorry if I really meant it”

I apologize to myself for getting in my own way. I apologize for always holding myself back and procrastinating on my happiness and self worth. I apologize for letting outside influences dictate how I feel and how I think. I apologize for putting you last when I put everyone and everything first. I apologize for giving too much of myself to those who didn’t deserve it and for putting my trust in the wrong people. 

Even though I cannot go back and correct everything that has happened, all mistakes are just lessons to learn from. So here are my commitments to myself. I commit to no longer get in my own way. I commit to work on letting go of past habits and behaviors. I commit to relearning how to love myself. I commit to letting go of toxic people and toxic energy. I commit to find what makes me happy. I commit to becoming a stronger version of myself. I commit to becoming more understanding and not be so close minded. I commit to accepting my flaws and enhancing those which are possible to enhance. I commit to no longer let people who don’t have my best interests at heart influencing my thinking. 

I commit myself to slow down and be aware of each breath, and actually pay attention to the pictures that pop into my mind when I'm looking various products like cars, clothing, houses, decorations, etc - and to be aware of when I feel an urge / desire / want to buy something based on an experience that comes up in me as I'm seeing these pictures / scenes in my mind, and to ask myself if I really Chose to put these pictures / experiences inside me, or if it happened without me being aware of what I'm doing, over time as I grew up and was exposed to various Media I commit myself to, when I'm looking at advertisements, watching TV, watching movies and I see characters driving certain cars, wearing certain clothes, living in certain kinds of houses, etc - slow down and pay attention to where / when an urge to buy / have / own something similar to what I'm seeing in the advertisement / TV / movie, comes up within me I commit myself to investigate how much time I spend in my mind imagining myself buying things / owning things and how I'll be experiencing myself after buying it / owning it, and to reflect on the question of whether I am Life, or just a machine designed to support a money system so that some people can make profit I commit myself to show how the constant production and advertisement of new products / styles indicates that humanity is not progressing away from money / consumerism -- as if humanity were, then the corporations would be having a hard time getting people to buy all kinds of different styles of the same stuff - and they aren't I commit myself to show how styling myself with products is not Individuality - it is the function of a Consumer that exists as copies of advertisements for products, a Consumer that has defined themselves according to the 'self concepts' presented within advertisements as 'what it is to be human and live' I commit myself to show how when I look at a product and have pictures and feelings copied from concepts presented to me in Advertisements / Media come up within me that cause me to buy the product, and I feel good / happy / excited after buying the product -- that indicates I exist as the current money system - I have Accepted the Money System within myself, as myself, as who I am - and thus I commit myself to investigate all the ways where I have copied the money system / consumerism into me as 'Who I Am', and delete these self definitions to be able to look at what is here as the Earth as an actual Earthling - instead of as a copy of Consumerism I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself and humanity As Me to exist within and as Consumerism as the desire / want / need to experience a feeling when I buy / use a product - and to investigate what it would be to have a world where as humanity we produce things for the equal benefit and support and enjoyment of each being www.equalmoney.org www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

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