#seemeasiam

i’m in bed. i’m up. i’m down. walking. they took 5 vials of my blood, i hope it was what they were looking for. i took thousands of dollars out in loans, i hope i find what i’m looking for. there are people running down the street with briefcases, i hope they make it, whatever they run for “are you hopeless?” put your stethoscope on my chest and ask me again, doctor. & ask my skeleton what he thinks. because he is a goddamn cynic. & this is all just a goddamn metaphor.

it’s been about 32 hours since i cut my hair. today i told 4 kids i was an alien in response to “hey…what are you?” and i reached my daily step count goal according to my phone. i miss my hair. this thunderstorm is actually shaking my house and i think there is going to be a hole in my roof in the morning. i feel alot right now. i feel alot. i want to be a lovable person. how does one become lovable?