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My friend Gigs's birthday was last Tuesday -- and, as you might have guessed by the title, her gift fic this year was another installment in the "Smiler In Secundus" series! Let's go now to the basement of one Richard Dodgson's hat shop, where -- as per my notes at the end of the last entry -- Smiler has just absolutely stunned everyone with their tea-making skills...
--
“...wow.”
Victor hid a snort behind his hand as Smiler beamed at the stunned Richard. “Good, huh?”
“Good? Good?! That word shames what you have done in this cup!” Richard informed them, gesturing wildly with his free hand – Victor noticed that the one holding the tea stayed perfectly still, making sure he didn’t spill a drop. “This is – is – there are no words to describe how incredible it is! There aren’t even sounds!”
“It is an amazing pot of tea,” Emily agreed, giggling at her husband’s antics over her own cup. “And, as you might imagine, we’re all very much connoisseurs.”
“Really – do you do other drinks?” Christopher asked, leaning forward eagerly.
“Of course! I’ve played substitute bartender a couple of times during my travels,” Smiler told him. “And substitute barista – which suits me just fine, as I honestly prefer coffee to tea.”
“Given you have created heaven in a cup, we’ll allow that,” March said, eagerly gulping his share.
“March – anyway, I bet if you ever ended up in Mechanicsburg, you’d be the one person who could produce a better cup of coffee than Agatha Heterodyne’s famous machine,” Emily added.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare presume–”
“Don’t you pretend to be modest now,” Alice interrupted them, smirking. “It doesn’t suit you.”
Smiler laughed. “To be fair, none of you have started going on about how perfect your teacups are yet, so...”
“Who cares about the cup when you’ve put such a miraculous liquid into it?” Richard demanded, taking another sip before flopping back in his chair with a deep, contented sigh. “Oh yes...whenever you decide you’re done imposing on the Van Dorts, just come over to my place – Emily and I will find a bed for you.”
“Victoria and I have a spare room available too,” Christopher added, causing Victoria to shake her head with a fond eyeroll.
“I’ll consider it,” Smiler told them both, giggling. “Though I have to say, I’m quite happy at the Van Dort house.”
“We’re happy to have you,” Victor assured them, smiling warmly. “It’s nice to have a fellow Touched around to help with my experiments – even if your focus is chemistry, not biology.”
“And someone who can watch Chester in a pinch,” Alice added. “He really does like you.”
“I like him! He’s very cute. And hey, it’s all chemistry in the end,” Smiler added to Victor with a wink. “You’ve got a pretty good working knowledge yourself, honestly.”
Victor shrugged. “I had to learn to get the results I wanted.”
“Most Touched end up pretty well versed in a lot of different branches of science,” Doc agreed, taking a sip of tea and smiling brightly. “Mmmm...you never know what you’ll need to get a project off the ground.” He leaned over to grab a biscuit. “When did you develop your interest in chemistry, Smiler?”
“Oh, back when I was a child,” Smiler explained, also grabbing a biscuit. “Stole my father’s books on the subject all the time. Growing up in X Sector was pretty lonely, and–”
“X Sector?” Marty interrupted, eyes wide. “The place with Dr. Kelman?”
Smiler froze, biscuit halfway to their tea cup. “Uh...”
“Dr. who?” Victor asked, blinking.
“Kelman – a truly rotten example of a psychology-focused Touched,” Doc elucidated, scowling. “Advertised himself as a leading expert in the field of ‘social compliance.’”
“Which was a fancy way of saying he basically tortured people into doing what he wanted,” Marty said bluntly. “Weird chemicals, isolation, hypnosis, brain surgery – lots of brain surgery, from what we heard.”
“Mmmm – his ultimate goal was to make people happy to be compliant with the whims of whoever the local authority was,” Doc picked up, shaking his head. “His actual results included roughly equal amounts of traumatized patients and braindead ones.”
“Bloody hell,” Alice said, eyes wide. “He sounds like a total monster.”
“Please tell us he’s not still hurting people!” Emily added, stunned.
“Don’t worry – he’s very dead,” Marty assured her. “Got the old pitchfork-and-torches treatment a few years back – pretty sure right before we accidentally dragged Victor back here.”
“I believe you’re right – the local townsfolk had enough of his nonsense, stormed his ‘Sanctuary,’ and killed pretty much everyone inside,” Doc ndoded. “Which did unfortunately include the patients – and Dr. Kelman’s son, Marmaduke.”
“What – Marmaduke?” Victor blurted, then blushed. “I – oh, I-I know that’s the least of Dr. Kelman’s crimes, but – who names their child Marmaduke?!”
“The nobility, usually – my parents are Finis and Maudeline, remember?” Victoria said, though even she looked a little dubious.
“Well, he wasn’t Lord Kelman, so I don’t know what his excuse was,” Alice said, shaking her head. “That poor boy, though...having horrible parents is no guarantee you’ll turn out the same way.”
“Exactly,” Victor nodded with feeling. “I don’t blame the townsfolk for wanting to stop Dr. Kelman once and for all, but did they really need...to...”
He paused as he noticed Smiler staring into their teacup, biscuit laying forgotten on the plate beside it. “Oh – I’m sorry,” he said softly, absently tugging at his tie. “I didn’t think...did you know Marmaduke?”
Smiler lifted their head, sporting the world’s most awkward smile. “Um – yeah, you could – you could say that,” they replied, rubbing the back of their head.
Victor stared for a moment, confused – then the penny dropped, along with his jaw. “Wait – you’re–”
“Not anymore,” Smiler said, holding up a hand. “I wanted to leave that name behind me long before the townsfolk stormed the Sanctuary – trust me, no one knew better than me how horrible Kelman was. Though if you really want to know who names their child ‘Marmaduke’ – someone whose own first name is Kellard. And who turned his own wife into a vegetable before she could object.” They shrugged. “I assume, anyway – never met my mother until I found what was left of her in the basement.”
“Great Scott,” Doc whispered as the others looked on in shock. “I’m so sorry...but – how did you survive? Every report I saw was quite adamant that everyone in the Sanctuary had been killed.”
Smiler’s smile somehow turned more awkward. “Uh – interdimensional being of pure joy saved my life in exchange for me going around making people happier?”
There was a long silence. “...what?” Victor eventually said, for lack of anything better.
Smiler pointed to their glowing yellow eyes. “Surely you guys didn’t assume I was born with these?”
“No, but Touched modify themselves in bizarre ways all the time,” Alice responded, leaning forward with an expression that was equal parts bafflement and concern. “And given I’ve left you alone with my child, I’d like to know all about this ‘interdimensional being’ and your deal with it post-haste.”
“Yes, I think we’d all appreciate you explaining what the hell you’re on about,” Christopher added, glancing nervously at his cup.
“Well, I knew it was going to come out sooner or later...” Smiler had a fortifying sip of tea, then clapped their hands. “Okay, so, there’s a few different planes of existence beyond this one...”
--
Yeah, so, I've had the idea for "Smiler ends up at the Dodgson tea table and absolutely stuns everyone with their tea" ever since I finished the Christmas fic -- it just felt like a natural place for this little miniseries to go after that one ended on Smiler offering to make tea for the Van Dorts! And I always enjoy writing someone being wowed by Smiler's skill at making drinks. XD I then turned it into the "this is how Victor and company learn Smiler's pre-'Smiler Alton' identity" story while coming up with my previous post detailing how Victor, Alice, and any other relevant people learn Smiler's birth name is Marmaduke, as it seemed as good a time as any for that to come up (especially since I figured SOMEBODY at the table had to have heard of Dr. Kelman) --
And then, because I'm me, I couldn't resist throwing Mar-Mal into this universe too. XD What can I say, I like the idea of Smiler being linked to some sort of eldritch being of happiness! Basically, what happened in this world was that Smiler WAS fatally injured during the storming of the Sanctuary...but Mar-Mal, looking for agents on Earth, happened to find them before they died, noted "oh, that's not a happy situation" and offered to save Smiler if they helped them make people happier. Smiler, very much not wanting to die, naturally took the deal, and ended up with a bit of Mar-Mal's power inside them -- hence the glowing yellow eyes. I'm thinking said power gives them some minor mind control abilities that they can only use to make people happy, since that's Mar-Mal's whole thing -- we'll see if and when they pop up in a future fic! However, next up is another moment that Gigs specifically requested when we were talking fic ideas for this verse -- Smiler meeting Ferdinand, Victor's riding butterfly! You should expect to see that around Christmas. :p
