#secondparentadoption

Well, it is late or early in to the morning depending on how you want to look at it. I still have yet to write my five to eight page paper but I have managed to type away my finger print with googling. (Allow pause to pour myself a cup of coffee). I didn’t think five short months ago I would be here in this moment panicked if I will be mom enough to be recognized as a mom, living in Washington State I have protection, ”Protection”, the more I dig the deeper the hole goes and the more panic sets in. When starting this journey with B and choosing R I didn’t even think of the ramifications. It’s almost like we through caution to the wind and plunged into something a million times larger.  

When Baby H comes to us in five or ten years if ever she’s going to ask how she was made and I’m going to have to choke down my lukewarm coffee and sit her down. I’ve already played this out in my mind a million times. H when a mom and a mommy love each other and have a mutual belief that a child should be able to know their full DNA makeup they enlist the help of a friend. ( here not knowing if I should go into great detail holding up a syringe and Dixie cup).

In seriousness and truth, I have been on a three day bender of googling second-parent adoption, step-parent adoption, Parentage protection, and birth certificates.

I am going to say this, I have been fighting for my right to exist since I was able to form a sentence. I have been fighting for a voice being a young woman, I have fought for visibility as a queer teen and now I am fighting to be seen as a legitimate mother. When will my right to be here, to be accepted and acknowledged become normalized in everyday life? Some of us are waiting for our letters to be accepted in to Hogwarts and I’m just waiting to be accepted in to society. I need to be specific here and state this, I would not change the process on how We conceived or with whom because I am a firm believer that once conception happens the soul has entered the body and I do not for a second want to alter the perfect being that my wife is growing right now. I do I think I would have insisted on a donor donation contract. I can’t change the past now. I think in sealing a contract before hand I wouldn’t be worried over terminology at 2 in the morning. Who knows though maybe all the panic and fear and what if’s I am running is just the start to motherhood and I am getting a head start on feeling like I am damaging my child. That is a thing right? Feeling like every step we take is sealing the fate of our children? Maybe 2 am has made me a little sinister. 

In the mist of my hurried google searches at work I found a cute little article and a line resonated with me,”my child was not the product of a split relationship,but the creation of a joint vision.” That hit home right in my feelings, with all the googling and law jargon I had let a dark cloud piss on me, the best gift , and largest joy in my life. 

With the proper planning, we can ensure that no matter what happens to you, your family will be protected and provided for in the exact manner you wish, rather than being stuck in a financial and legal nightmare.\

Our specialized planning services can help ensure that non-biological parents in LBGT relationships have as many parental rights as possible without resorting to second-parent adoption. Contact us, your Personal Family Lawyer®, today to get started with a Family Wealth Planning Session.

Two Moms Talk About Second Parent  Adoption

Not all LGBT parents in the U.S. can put both parents’ names on their children’s birth certificate. And even if they can, many lawyers still advise that gay couples go through second parent adoptions as a means to protect their parental right to their children. 

Brandy and Susan from The Next Family discuss their second parent adoption experience so other LGBT parents can gain some insight.