4 russian missiles hit Kyiv today, and it was in my neighborhood. I returned to Kyiv few weeks ago, and I usually take the “two walls rule” (you know what this is, right?) and sit in my corridor during the air strike alerts. It’s kinda exhausting to run to the bomb-shelter every time happens, cause russians launch their deathly shit on us usually 2-4 times a day. And besides, idk if the nearest shelter can fit all the people, so I chose to stay in the safest spot of my apartment. Well… just like the most of us, Ukrainians, do for the past 4 months.
So today, the alert started at 5:03 am, and I’m usually still awake at this time. But I was so tired, I was lying in my bed, scrolling the feed on my phone. I live on the first floor of the residential building, and there’s a road outside my window. Small, not very popular one, so it’s like up to 10 cars a day max) They make that low roaring sound when they drive by. Around 5:20 I heard a sound like that, but it was… a bit different. It literally took less than a second for the though to appear in my mind “That’s not a car”
And then… I don’t even know what then. My second thought was literally “Oh…” and nothing more. And it would’ve take me 2 seconds to grab my cat and run into corridor. But I went absolutely numb. Just... listening to that sound.
Then it changed to the noise of hit and explosion. And the rattling of the windows in my apartment. Fuck, they say you should stay away from the windows, but I was so numb, I was so fucking numb… But then I heard that sound AGAIN, and this time I grabbed my cat and run into the corridor.
There were four explosions, windows were shaking badly, and my cat was scared as fuck. And between third one and the fourth one hit there was a longer pause, and I came to the window to look at the damage. I even filmed the huge column of smoke. Probably, to remember this day forever.
The alert was over at 5:47. I texted back all my friends, who know where I live, that I’m okay. I checked with my friends, who live nearby, too. And then… the usual thing we all do after the hit was confirmed. We wait for the official info to appear, checking the news feed every fucking 10 seconds. We wait, and there's only one thought in our heads: "How many?"
Turned out one missile hit the kindergarten yard, leaving the huge hole in the ground and absolutely no windows in the building itself. And there was a hit on the residential building, too. It’s 500m from my house. 7 years old girl got injured, but according to the latest news, she’s alive and she's gonna be alright. Her father covered her with his body to protect. He died.
That’s it, that’s the story of my morning.
And I… fuck, I could tell you so much more. I could tell you, how those were the scariest 30 minutes of my life. I could tell you, how awful the air smelled for an hour. How it was filled with sirens of the ambulances and the rescue service. How I wished it was me, rather than that little girl. And how I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry her father died. God I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry it happened today. I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so fucking tired, so fucking angry that this violence is happening all over Ukraine, for days… for weeks… for four fucking months, Jesus fucking Christ… MONTHS! I wish I could tell you how I appreciate, how it warms my heart when you write me messages, adding “I hope you’re staying safe”, and how I am thankful for your care, and simultaneously want to scream back at you that nowhere is safe. Fucking nowhere is safe... I wish I could tell you how I felt, when the alert was on again at 7:21 am, and I fucking fell apart. I went totally hysterical, with laugher and tears...
But that’s not the point.
The point is NO ONE. EVER. in their lives should experience that.
The point is russia keep committing war crimes, keep killing innocent people, keep stealing, keep destroying.
russia is a terrorist state.Â
