#tw war

Wanda watches you packing your suitcase, her hands shaking. She wants to say something but she knows you’ll only be going round in circles, talking over the same things you’ve already discussed. Well, discussed is one way to put it. Wanda cringes a little as she remembers raising her voice at you. She can’t help it though - it’s dangerous! Wanda doesn’t want you to go. Those are two things you know… But you’re going anyway.

In truth, Wanda had known the moment you took the call that morning that you would. Getting the call that a child needs life-changing surgery that only you can perform generally captures your attention. Finding out it was in a war-torn country and you’d need to go there for the next few days hadn’t fazed you. Not the way it had Wanda.

Wanda steps behind you and wraps her arms around your waist. You sigh, putting your hand over hers “I’m sorry. But I really am the only one who can go Wands. You know that.”

She does know that. Especially now that your mother, Hillary, had succumbed to her illness last year. Wanda can’t truly say she misses her after everything they’d been through but she was sad for you and had held your hand at the funeral.  She presses a kiss to your shoulder and whispers “I know. I don’t have to like it though.”

“Yes, you made that pretty clear.” You sigh “I have to go though Wanda. I can’t turn my back on someone who needs help.”

“I know that too.” Wanda murmurs “And I’m so proud of you. I’m always proud of you. But I still wish there was someone else who could go. Or that they could bring the little girl here.”

“Well, that would be preferable but they can’t move her right now. I’m a little worried the hospital won’t be the best but I’ll find a way to cope.”

Wanda kisses your shoulder again. How can you be so selfless? “What if you get caught up in everything going on?” She asks “We already missed out on so much time together, if anything happened to you-”

“Hospitals are protected. I shouldn’t get caught up in anything.”

“And what about…” Wanda lets her sentence trail off but she lifts her hand up meaningfully to rest on your stomach.

You and Wanda had wanted to start a family for a while now. With your obligations to your mother and both of your jobs it had been difficult to find the right time. After your Mom had passed away you’d decided to just go for it. There would always be something in the way, there would never be a ‘perfect time’ so you and Wanda had visited a fertility doctor. After looking through dozens of possibilities you’d picked out a sperm donor and the two of you had gone through the treatment, in the hopes it would work for at least one of you. That had been a couple of weeks ago. Still too early to tell. But if you are carrying their child…

“I’ll be back before you know it.” You say quietly, your hand over Wanda’s “And then we’ll see. But it’s going to be okay Wands, I promise.”

Wanda nods but she doesn’t move her arms from around your waist as you continue packing your suitcase “Aren’t you scared?”

You hesitate before admitting quietly “Yeah, of course. I didn’t think my career path would lead me towards an active war zone… It’s not exactly the summer vacation I had in mind.”

“But you’re still going to go.”

“You know I don’t have a choice.”

Wanda sighs, her arms tightening around your waist “I wish you didn’t love your job so much.”

 You take a deep breath “Wands, I don’t want to become my Mom. Working all the time, no time for fun or anything but… I can’t turn my back on people who need my help. Maybe that will change if we end up with a little one but right now…”

“I know baby, I know. You’re right, you should go.” Wanda kisses your cheek “If you are the one who ends up pregnant though, I’m making you take a long break.”

“And if we’re both pregnant?”

“We’ll move into a spa for nine months and spend every day relaxing.”

You laugh, turning to face her and hugging her back “I love you so much.”

“Love you more. I’m going to be lost without you.”

“You can read those scripts your agent sent and finally pick one.”

Wanda huffs – after her stint on Broadway Wanda had done a few more movies but she’s in a bit of rut now, not sure what kind of movie she wants to do next. Although she’s not an A-List celebrity she’s definitely reached a point where she can pick and choose her projects rather than having to accept anything and everything for exposure. Wanda had been in a lot of RomCom’s and she doesn’t really want to accept another one but a different genre would be a big change and she’s not sure she’s up for the task after being comfortable for so long.

“Write down your thoughts on each one and I’ll go through them with you when I get home. Something to look forward to.” You say, kissing her cheek “And the moment I’m back we’ll order takeout and have a really nice evening together.”

“I’ll cook you something.” Wanda insists, knowing that keeping her hands busy in the kitchen will take her mind off worrying about you too much.

Even after all these years you’re not skilled in the kitchen but you do love Wanda’s cooking. Not that she gets much time for cooking anymore. There’s always some kind of meeting or rehearsal or shoot that Wanda has to attend and with you being at the hospital most of the time you do often both rely on convenience. You smile, looking forward to the thought of a proper home cooked meal waiting for you at the end of a difficult surgery and long journey home “Sounds perfect. Something else to look forward to.”

Wanda kisses you. You haven’t even left yet and she’s already counting down the days until you return home. It’s nearly a day’s flight to get to the country, a few days to travel, perform the surgery and check the patient is recovering as expected, and then you’ll fly home. Wanda should be alone for a week tops. As long as she keeps herself busy, she should be fine.

It only takes two days for Wanda to run out of things to do. She’d taken your advice and read through the scripts she’d been sent – she’d written down her thoughts in a journal for you to have a look through when you got back. You’d both talked about repainting the bathroom for a while so Wanda had decided to go ahead and get it done, to surprise you. After that she feels a bit lost, wandering around the silent apartment.

Wanda had moved into your expensive apartment just before you’d gotten married. Natalya is still in the house Wanda had bought on the outskirts of New York whilst Pietro had bought his own apartment in the city to be near his gym. A lot of Wanda’s work takes her to Los Angeles so you’d bought a second home out there, a beautiful condo with an outdoor pool. Wanda always marvels at the life she lives now compared to her childhood. Marrying you had certainly helped but Wanda contributes plenty to the bills herself now she’s a successful actress.

That evening Wanda scrolls through her phone with the TV on for background noise. You’d warned Wanda you’d probably be too busy to text but you’d call her when you got the chance. Not hearing from you is making Wanda worry even though she knows she shouldn’t. You will call when you can. Wanda knows you will.

She sighs as she reads the comments on her latest instagram post when she suddenly hears the name of the country that you’re currently in and she looks up, the TV instantly capturing her attention. Her eyes widen as she sees the images flashing across the screen of a hospital that’s been targeted by a terrorist group and is now nothing but rubble. Heart pounding, Wanda looks back down at her phone and quickly scrolls to your name, hitting the call button.

Maybe it’s not the hospital you’re in. It just feels like too much of a coincidence though. Wanda’s breathing is panicked and erratic as she listens to the international dialling tone. It rings and rings until eventually it connects to your voicemail – Wanda’s eyes fill with tears as she hears your recorded voice “Hey, it’s me… Saw something on the news. Probably worrying about nothing but… Please call. Or text. As soon as possible. Just wanna know you’re okay. Love you.”

Leaving you a message does nothing to calm Wanda’s racing thoughts so she calls her Mom next because she’s not sure what else to do. Natalya is level-headed “There must be plenty of hospitals.” She reassures Wanda “Someone probably would’ve called you if they thought something had happened to Y/N. No news is good news.”

“No news is no news.” Wanda sighs, glancing at the TV again which is still covering the war. Wanda knows she should probably change the channel, that the imagery of the explosions and tanks rolling through the streets isn’t helping her anxiety “I didn’t want her to go. If she doesn’t come home-”

“I know you’re worried but until you hear anything you have to trust that she’s okay.” Natalya’s calm voice normally soothes Wanda but today it just doesn’t “You don’t help yourself, rattling around that big place by yourself. Come round tomorrow for dinner, it will take your mind off everything.”

“Yeah, sure.” Wanda agrees easily, grateful for the offer even though she knows she’ll be poor company “How are you anyway?”

Wanda lets her Mother talk through the various clubs and committees that she’s a part of, one eye on the news the entire time. By the time her Mother hangs up she doesn’t really feel any better. No news is good news – she wishes she could share Natalya’s optimism. Wanda hugs her knees to her chest, remembering how she’d broken up with you when you were just college students. You hadn’t known why, Wanda hadn’t been able to tell you. Now Wanda’s the one in the dark and she wonders how you coped for all those years, never knowing the true reason Wanda had broken up with you.

Three more days go by and Wanda is practically climbing the walls with worry. You still haven’t called. She calls the hospital you work in who tell her they also haven’t heard anything but reassure her that no news is good news. Wanda is sick to death of that phrase. If she hears it one more time she’s going to scream.

Every night Wanda sits down to watch the news which doesn’t help but she can’t stop herself. Her anxiety goes through the roof as she watches the footage emerging from the city. Tensions are rising and things are only getting worse. Her brow creases with worry and Wanda curses ever letting you go. Now she’s beginning to worry that even if you’re out there you won’t be able to leave the country. You have a private plane but it might be more complicated than that. Wanda doesn’t know the specifics. All she knows is that you haven’t called. You said you’d call as soon as you could. Surely you’ve performed the surgery by now. Unless that hospital was the one you were in and now-

Wanda shakes her head as if she can physically shake away the bad thoughts that keep crossing her mind. Last time she tried to call you it hadn’t even rang; it had just gone straight to voicemail. Your phone has been switched off. This worries Wanda even more. You’re very careful to keep your phone charged as the hospital often contact you needing you in at short notice. It’s not like you at all to be un-contactable for so long. Wanda’s stomach twists and she tries to blot the bad thoughts out again.

No news is good news. No news is good news. No news is good news. What a stupid, meaningless phrase!

After pouring herself another glass of wine Wanda quickly flicks through the channels, not wanting to watch the news anymore. ‘Moulin Rouge’ is playing and Wanda’s eyes fill with tears again. This film holds so many memories for her. Your first date. The proposal. Wanda playing Satine for nine months. You coming to opening night and cheering the loudest when she bowed then you coming to closing night, throwing roses onto the stage. Tears spill down Wanda’s cheeks as she watches, praying that you’ll come home safely.

Just as Wanda’s dozing off, her wine glass still in her hand, she hears the door to the apartment close and she shoots awake. On edge, she jumps up; heading into the hallway and her expression relaxes when she sees it’s just you. Her mind takes a moment to catch up, thinking you’re just returning from a normal shift at the hospital when she suddenly realises and bursts into noisy tears, throwing her arms around you “You said you’d call!” She scolds “I’ve tried to call you so many times and I heard nothing!”

“Nice to see you too my beloved.” You mumble, hugging her back.

Wanda can hear how tired you are but she can’t help herself “I was so worried! I saw the news, the hospital-”

“Not mine.” Your voice is weary and you’re practically sagging against Wanda “It- God Wanda, it was awful but my hospital wasn’t targeted. I’m sorry I didn’t call, things were just so crazy and then I didn’t have a damn plug adaptor to charge the stupid thing after it died. The surgery took hours. I barely slept, there were always alarms and explosions and… Fuck, that’s the hardest job I’ve ever done.”

“How’s the little girl?” Wanda asks, pulling back to look at you, taking in the dark circles under your eyes and the way you’re practically swaying on your feet with exhaustion.

“Recovering well. Feel so shitty about leaving her there but they reassured me she’ll be taken with her parents to a neighbouring country as refugees the moment she can leave. We’re so lucky Wands. We have a nice life here.”

“We do… I’m so glad you’re home.” Wanda kisses your cheek then wraps her arm around you “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

“We were gonna have dinner together-”

“I didn’t know you were coming home, I didn’t make the chicken paprikash. Tomorrow night I’ll make it, I promise. Are you hungry? You look like you’re dead on your feet to be honest.”

You groan softly “God, I am. Didn’t sleep at all on the plane. Just wanted to get home to my bed and to my favourite girl. I wish I could stay up and just talk. God knows I’ve missed you too but I’m just so frickin’ tired.”

Wanda manoeuvres you into the bedroom and then helps you into your pyjamas. Truthfully you look like you could do with a shower but Wanda can see you’re too tired so she pulls back the bed sheets. She can always change them to clean ones tomorrow. For now, the important thing is that you’re home. You’re safe, you’re home, and you’re alive. It’s the good news Wanda’s been waiting for. And this really is good news. Not like the no news she had before.

You snuggle into her arms and close your eyes “Fuck. I missed you so much.”

“Oh I promise you I missed you more. I’ve been lost without you, just worrying every single second.”

“So comfy.” You mumble before opening your eyes again to look up at her blearily “Oh I wanted to tell you… Bad news. I did a pregnancy test on the way back. Negative.”

Wanda kisses your forehead “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? For now, you get some well-deserved rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

You lean your head against her chest and practically pass out with exhaustion, relieved to be home where it’s safe and warm and where your beautiful wife is. Wanda leans her head against yours, taking a moment to just relish in the fact you’re back home where you belong. In her arms.

She presses a kiss to the top of your head. Tomorrow she’ll tell you the good news, after you’ve had a decent night’s sleep and you feel a bit more human. Wanda will make the chicken paprikash and then she’ll give you the pregnancy test she’d taken the previous day, the one confirming she’s officially starting your family.