#sdlc14

after the opening ceremony of the conference, on the first day, as i left my peers and my chaperons to join my "family group", i was scared. i have always been a quite outgoing person and i had spent my whole life making friends out of complete strangers, but i was scared. i knew that this was a place where everyone was accepting, and where i had a common goal with all of them - to make this world a better place - but i couldn't stop myself from shaking. yes, i had already cracked a few jokes with some girl standing next to me and laughed at the fact that i was too short to see the names of the conference rooms with another, but still, i felt alone. little did i know that just 48 hours after, i would walk out with a family of 1620. 

my whole life, i thought i was an accepting person... because i had traveled and lived around the world, because my friends all had different backgrounds... i had flaunted it in a countless amount of cover letters and applications. but till sdlc , i did not have the slightest idea of what acceptance was. i didn't know that acceptance is appreciating the miracle of us all being different, and yet recognizing ourselves as one. We are all human beings. We are all interconnected. If one of us, if one race, one social class (etc) goes down, we all do, because we are all branches of one same tree, petals of one same flower. 

in just two days, i learnt that it is okay to speak up, it is okay to be vocal. all heroes were once "criminals". but it is also important to listen, and most importantly, to understand. 

yes, that girl in the corner laughing seems like she has it all, that boy cracking those jokes seems like a walking ray of sunshine... but you do not know, you do not know what's going on behind that wall that they have built around their secrets and their struggles. they only allow you to see as deep as they want you to. and in those two days, i learnt that it is important to pay attention, to listen, to be present, to take care, to pick up hints and to be available to everyone, because you never know what is happening behind closed doors, when the girl's smile fades as she grabs a shard of broken glass and the boy slides his hand across the fresh bruise on his face...

i learnt that fitting in is not what matters, it's better to stand out. be yourself, there is no one as beautiful as you. my whole life i had been ashamed of my culture, scared of it, because i knew that people didn't understand it, they don't see it the way i do. i would not let out my "feminist" side, in fear of getting shut down by all those people who genuinely believe that i am bound to "shut up and make them a sandwich". but today, i am not scared. i am not forcing myself into becoming a person that i am not, fitting into a quota i am not a part of. today, i am a woman, i am Muslim, i am Egyptian, i am everything that makes me me and i am proud.

in two days, i saw complete strangers become family to me. it felt like kindergarten all over again. i walked in, asked a couple of people their names, and minutes after, we were inseparable. from then on, and till forever, these people are a part of me. 

though being back at school, being back with my blood family and my peers, has been very tough... i, and all of us, need to stay strong, and not let them put the fire out. we were given a spark, we have the choice to either let it die out, or feed it oxygen and keep the fire burning.