I Canāt F*cking Please You People
All through college I worked my butt off. I didn't have a job, but I was focused on my studies. I never did near as well as I wanted, and eventually lost interest because I wasn't learning anything new. Instead of offering me a new challenge or ways to find interest in paying $100 a day for repetitive classes, you scolded me for being lazy.
So I turned my attention to my sorority. I was going to be the best member I could possibly be. I devoted my time to helping with everything and taking roles I knew I'd be good at. And I thought I was doing well. But you proved me wrong. Instead of telling me what I needed to do to be better (or telling me I was doing poorly in the first place), you began to shoot down all of my ideas, ignored my direction after putting me in a leadership position. You shunned me for moving out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there.
So I stopped. I stopped everything. I moved back home, took minimal classes at a school I loathed and fell back into the depression I'd tried so hard to escape from. I considered dropping out of school and heading straight into the workforce ā you don't need a degree to clean hotel rooms, after all, and a local hotel was hiring. And what did you do? You wrinkled your nose up. Told me I'd never amount to anything. Degraded me for wanting to take a different path. You called me ignorant and selfish.
So I started making costumes. Taking road trips with my friends and showing off my sewing skills at conventions ā even going so far as to win awards. I threw myself into that, too. Whenever I wasn't in class, I was at the sewing machine making something I loved out of nothing. But instead of being happy for me, or ā at the very least ā going along with it, you scolded me. Told me that this was a complete waste of time and money. You belittled me and said it would never amount to anything.
So I started voice acting. And I felt my whole world change. Never before had I felt so passionate about something. Never before had I seen so many open doors just from sitting behind a microphone. I dove in head-first. Funded my own equipment, actively sought out lessons, attended every event I could, read every scrap of advice I could get my hands on. I wanted to do this and I wanted to be the best. And what did you tell me? āWhy can't you focus on your studies?ā āSettle down, become an English teacher.ā āYou're never going to make it.ā
A private costumer, supplying costumes to local theatres.
An assistant director, helping out theatre directors and giving acting lessons.
A script editor, filling plot holes and fixing stupid grammatical mistakes.
A voice talent, lending my voice to various projects and a professional table reads company.
I'm giving my all to every one of these jobs, and you want me to āsettle down, become an English teacher.ā
I'm giving my all to every one of these jobs, and even still you reprimand me. Because now I āwork too muchā. Because now you ānever see meā. Because now I don't have any free time. Because now I'm always tired. Because now I'm proving you wrong.
I can't please you people. Because no matter what I do, it's not what you want of me. And you know what? That's fine.
I don't have a spouse, I don't have a kid, I don't have anyone whose lives are dependent on me. Well, there's the cat, but she's always got food, clean water, and a comfy place to sleep so I really don't think she cares all that much.
So scold me. Call me lazy. Shoot me down. Ignore me. Shun me. Wrinkle your nose. Degrade me. Call me ignorant. Belittle me. Tell me I won't amount to anything. Tell me I work too much.
Because even still, I'll thank you for it. Why? Because you've taught me something.
Out of all the jobs I do, it's not my job to please you.