yikes i don’t really talk to that many ppl on here much anymore. whoever wants to do it can!

A whole year. It was hard to believe it had been that long. Spirit Albarn sat in the living room of the small house that seemed entirely too empty now. Maka hadn't lived there since she'd gotten the dorm-apartment with Soul, and Kami...well. She'd left a year ago. A year ago today. Ordinarily if Spirit was feeling upset or down he'd go out to the cabaret or the club district, surround himself in people and good company, but not today. Today he sat alone, staring at the dark television screen in a small house that seemed far too big for just him, a bottle of whiskey on the table and a half-empty glass beside it. Probably he shouldn't be drinking, but hell. It wasn't as though he were going anywhere. Or as though he was expecting company. With a sigh he reached for the glass and took a sip, feeling the alcohol burn on the way down. No work tomorrow. Nothing wrong with drinking until the pain went away. Just for today.

Spirit was paying absolutely no attention to anything behind him, entirely focused on just getting the hell away. Which is why his terror shot to new heights when the syringe hit his right shoulder. He tore it out with a scream and kept running, not noticing that it was now empty, but he’d figure that out later. Right about the time a burning pain began to rise through his entire body. He stumbled as it registered, falling to skid a few feet across the ground, which didn't help the rising pain much. Or the panic. What had they done? What had been in that thing? What was happening to him? He had no idea, all he registered was the rising pain in his body. Curling up he tried to make it go away; no such luck. All he could really hope for now was that it would fade quickly, and whoever that nutcase had been wouldn't be following him to finish whatever they'd started.

He sat alone in a dim apartment, staring at the wall. So much had happened, so much gone wrong. He'd been lost for so long, trapped in the dark, and it didn't feel as if anything was changing. The nightmares still plagued him, every night without fail. When was the last time he'd been able to sleep a full night through without something jolting him to overalert wakefulness, aware of every little sound, staring into the shadows as though they would drag him away. He had gotten things mostly under control in his waking life, but even that was wearing on him. Little things, a sudden noise, an unexpected touch, still sent his heart racing, adrenaline flowing. He couldn't help it, though he tried. It was only a limited amount of time before he would end up doing something he'd regret. He almost had just that day...the memory surged up, replaying before his eyes. He'd been trying to talk to Maka. It was more awkward now than it had been before, as he almost had to relearn how to talk to people in general. She'd gotten irritated, as she often did with him - he got clingy, he knew, though he did try not to - and had resorted to hitting him over the head with her book. In that moment...he shuddered. What he could have done... Getting up he wandered slowly into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Dull cobalt eyes looked out of a still-pale face framed by lank red hair; he only took the barest care of his appearance these days. What was he becoming? What had he become? He was no use to anyone like this...if anything he was a danger. How could he let himself resonate with Shinigami-sama, or anyone, like this? It would do more harm than good. and Stein...he had been the one to keep Stein in check, steady, as stable as the scientist could be, but now...how could he do that when he could barely cope with himself? Even being near Stein might aggravate his old partner's madness...he couldn't risk that, couldn't let Stein fall through helping him. And Maka...he'd never been much of a father anyway, had he? Especially since the divorce. Clingy, overbearing, annoying, unable to communicate like an adult...he'd ruined their family, she barely tolerated him...maybe they'd been getting better before, but now...he looked down, unable to hold his reflections eyes. Now what could he do for her? He couldn't even keep himself afloat... His eyes fell on the medicine cabinet. There was that. That was an option. It would solve his problems, let everyone stop worrying about him, let them move on...Stein had Marie as a partner now, didn't need Spirit. Shinigami-sama could call Tezca or Azusa to stand beside him until a new Death Scythe was made. Maka was a strong girl, she could take care of herself, and she had Soul...it wouldn't even have to look bad...just an accident. Absentminded Spirit, not thinking...and then it would be over.

[...I am totally game.]

Spirit Albarn, aged 19, registering for college classes