#scoville

“We’re out of popcorn,” you said, rummaging through the pantry. “We have chips and salsa though.”

It was a stormy night and you and Loki were going to cuddle up and watch a movie. You’d shown him a handful of them here during his time on Earth. Tonight, you picked one of your favorite comedy films. The last one you showed him was a dud, he watched it with a stony face the entire time so you were really hoping that this one would get some chuckles out of him.

“I haven’t tried that snack yet, but sure,” Loki replied from the couch.

“Just be careful, the salsa’s a bit spicy.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said.

A minute later, you approached the couch with a bowl of chips and salsa and offered it to him. Loki took a tortilla chip and scooped some salsa onto it. With his mouth half-full, he spoke.

“By the gods that is spicy.” A few seconds later and the spice really kicked in. “What did you put in this?”

“I didn’t put anything in it, it came like that,” you gestured. “It’s just a jar of salsa you get from the store.”

He continued to eat more chips, his eyes watering as he did so. “This is fantastic, but…” Loki conjured some water to drink.

You laughed at Loki’s intrigue and his suffering taste buds. “I thought you said you had spicy food on Asgard.”

“We do. Often my mother would make stews for us as children that were spicy.”

“What was in those stews? Pepper?”

Loki nodded, taking another drink of water. 

“Anything else?” you said.

He shook his head. “No, that was about it.”

“Oh my god, Loki, you’re so white,” you laughed. “Remind me, what kind of foods did you have on Asgard again?”

“Bread and grains, meats, fish, vegetables, fruit and nuts, and plenty of cakes.”

“Were the meats seasoned?”

Loki looked at you with offense. “Of course they were seasoned. We had the best chefs in Asgard serving us. We had diplomatic visitors from other realms who raved over the meals we served them.”

“They just weren’t spicy.”

“Apparently not.”

Despite his suffering, he took a few more chips. “This is phenomenally tasty. I had no idea food could be this spicy.”

“Oh man, Loki, I gotta take you out for some authentic spicy food some time, then. You’re gonna love it.”

With his mouth half-full again, he nodded. After swallowing his food he said, “Please do. Clearly I have been missing out.”