#schools back

I’ve kept my opinions on it pretty quiet on the internet, though I do have a lot. 

as for the line changes and censoring, with the exception of a handful of lines, I get why they did what they did. I know a lot of people are upset that they chose a show like this if they knew they were going to have to censor it. and I get that, but I also know exactly why they chose it. its a show with representation for so many people and communities that don’t often see themselves in the spotlight; it was an incredibly important show in 1996, and its an incredibly important show now. 

that said, however, it was not done as much justice as I wish it had been. 

there are certain aspects that I don’t feel fair to judge. it was a dress rehearsal and I know that everyone was saving their best selves for what should’ve been the live broadcast. where I do have complaints there, is that in the time between brennin’s injury and the broadcast, nobody came up with a better solution. they were working with a large group of people who perform for a living. granted not all stage or theatre actors, but professionals who could’ve worked together to give the show a better outcome. 

Vanessa was probably my top performance of the night, followed closely by Jordan. bvd always reliably delivers, and I was pleasantly surprised by Kiersey. 

no, I take that back. the top performance was their set designer. damn. give Jason Sherwood all of the jobs rn. his other work is great, but this blew my every expectation.

the way I felt about the set, is the way I wish I felt about the rest of the show. it really just fell flat and I was really underwhelmed and dare I say, disappointed. 

I wanted so badly for it to be the big night that it should have been. where it went down in history and so many people watching it, those who’ve grown watched it grow and those who were experiencing it for the first time, should have always remembered that night. instead two days later and very little of it has a deep, lingering effect. 

I almost forgot about my anxiety,

WELL NOT ANYMORE.

"Is it normal to feel sick to my throat that I feel choked and gagged every time I think about school."

"I don't think it is, but if it is, that would be very very worrying."

"Can I break down and get some floor time again?"

Yes, On my way there.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAah. Ya know, I have regrets, I forget bout them but sometimes,