#scholasticbabe

If you're an introvert you've probably at one point or another wonder how you'll make friends in college. I know that we introverts don't like to initiate conversation because we’re so content in our own company it's hard to put ourselves out there to meet new people. However, making friends is a big part of the college experiences and I'm gonna share 5 ways you can make friends in college even while maintaining your sanity and having enough me time:

Study in common areas: This is a simple low-stress way to meet people. Usually, you can study by yourself and still get that feeling of “alone” time. It also increases the odds that you might meet someone and the odds are the persona might also be an introvert as well and you'll have more to connect with.

Go to interest invents: if you're an introvert and you want to put yourself out there, you'll want to do it ins place where you'll find like-minded people. It will be more fruitful for you because instead of raking up friends you have nothing in common with you'll usually find a solid handful who have similar interest to you. Interest events include clubs, campus events and shows that your already a fan of.

Social Media: This is an underutilized tool for us introvert. If you've met someone in a class or walking around campus but you haven't gotten a chance to build up a solid relationship with them, it might be worthwhile to follow them on social media 1) it will break the ice and make you feel more comfortable approaching each other 2) it will give you a better idea of whether you guys even have anything in common. I've maintained several casual friendships online that have transformed into IRL friendships and the best part is you don't have to leave your room.

Steal your friend’s friends: if you already have a handful of friends that you've met in college but you're looking to branch out, it might be a good strategy to try to make friends with your friend's friends. 1) you'll probably like them because you like your friend 2) you'll probably see them more often because of your friend's association with them. Don't be afraid to strike up conversations with people that are close with your other friends. It’s actually ironic that several of my best friends were friends of people I was friends with.

Be approachable: Easier said than done, but an effective way to make friends that doesn't always have to be on your end. By being friendly and comfortable in your own skin you actually make it easier for people who may have wanted to be friends with you to make that first step. Maybe if someone comes up to ask you something you can have a conversation with them instead of climbing back into your introvert shell. By simply turning everyday interaction into a chance to build new connections and friendships you be surprised the number of people who probably already wanted to be friends with you!

With that being said making friends in college is hard and it takes time! Don't be afraid to go through some trial and error when trying to create your friend group. Just keep doing things you like and listen to your intuition when it comes to the people around you. Spend time with people who make you feel comfortable and welcomed and distance yourself from those who don't. It's better to have a handful of reliable friends you can count on than a dozen friends who aren't there when you need them. Good luck and remember that everyone deserves love and compassion.

Xoxo,

Pick a core value: Your college application is a story and your admissions essay should be an intro to that story. You can make your story stick out from others by picking a value that's important to you or one that has shown up at different points in your life. Latch on to that value and emphasize it in your essay. Example, for me it was curiosity, I had always been a curious child and it has manifested itself in different ways in my life. My college application narrative was that I was a person who was learning to embrace curiosity not as a character flaw but as a strength. Yours might be tenacity, transparency, creativity, growth, the list goes on! Really spend time to think about a value or belief that has persisted in your life and make sure it is evident in your essay,

Have an arch: A common misconception about the college essay is that it needs to be a sob story. This is a misguided misconception because while it can be good to illustrate the adversity you have faced, it loses its value if there isn't some sort of change that follows. The point of the essay is to show how you got from point A to C so by stopping and dwelling at point b you lose the meaningfulness of your essay. How would you be different if what you're talking about never happened? By asking yourself some questions you get to the core of why your essay even matters.

Keep it concise: The college essay is only about 650 words so it doesn't give you a lot of time to yabber on. It's that short because it wants you to get to the point. A common mistake is using the first half of your essay as an intro. That's too much. Think about how you ration your essay. The intro should be short and pack a punch. You don't even have to start at the beginning, start your essay at the climax of your high school metamorphosis and carry them through that. Because of the time restraints, it might be more helpful to start at the climax bring the readers down by offering some context and then ending on a strong note by offering some new perspective. Note: your essay doesn't always have to have a happy ending but it should have drawn some conclusion, the conclusion can be open-ended but it should still be there.

This semester during a global pandemic and for most people one of the most uncertain time in their lives I got a 4.0 for the first time in my academic career. Before this happened I always thought having a 4.0 was something that only brainiacs did, so when I got my grades I was shocked. I hadn’t actually been doing anything geared towards getting a 4.0. It was almost laughable that for the years I struggled as a student, I would achieve this goals at this point in my journey. 

After years of habit I became detached from my grades and start to place more value in learning. I wasn’t naturally a good student but I loved school. This past semester while difficult for other reasons, I loved my classes. They weren’t easy but they made me think and they made excited to do the work. 

Still those grades didn’t give me permission to be the student I always wanted be because I just did what I wanted anyways. 

I got into college without ever getting a 4.0, I got a scholarship without getting a 4.0, I’ve gotten internships without a 4.0, I’ve started clubs without a 4.0, I got published without ever getting a 4.0. 

All of this to say that not getting a 4.0 has never stopped me on my academic journey and I wanted to share this with you because as I near the second half of my college journey this is the first time I’ve accomplished this goal that is such a milestone for most people in academia, but it pales in comparison to all the other amazing opportunties I’ve had. 

I know a lot of us are excited to go to college and it can be a wonderful enriching experience but it also come with its own set of stressors. 

More and more, comparison can start to creep through and affect your mental health. When you're isolated with your peers in a high-stress environment it hard not to notice what everyone else is doing and for some reason, you'll always fall short.

I just want to remind everyone that comparison helps no one. You can always look over at what your peers, roommate, and friends are doing but it will never be an accurate marker of where you are. We all have different stories and backgrounds and we aren't all in the same place but you're still at the same place. I say that to say while everyone if starting off at different points in their journey you should celebrate that wherever you are, you got there just like everyone else so you are just as worthy to occupy that space. 

Imposter syndrome is a bitch and it bites everyone. 

That doesn't mean that there isn't always room for improvement, because there is, but what it means is keeping your eyes focused on what everyone else is doing makes you lose sight of your own personal growth and accomplishment. You know they say the grass you water is going to grow. So time spent wishing you were some how better could be spent working on yourself. 

You serve yourself more by honoring where you're coming from and how you got to the place you're in now. Success isn't linear and while you may have your highs, there will always be low. So celebrate the wins in life now and celebrate your friends wins too even though you guys may not always peak at the same time because as with anything there will be ebbs and flows. Enjoy the moment and stop keeping a score chart in life because everyone is going to have their moment, but if you're busy watching everyone else’s highs you're gonna miss when it's your time. 

As a history major, I’ve had to write plenty of research papers over the years. In my very first class where I was expected to research, I was a freshman in a class with all seniors and I felt embarrassed to even ask how I should outline my research paper or what kind of citations to use.

It was a hot mess. 

But my pride wouldn’t let me admit that I was in over my head. I scoured the internet to find bits and pieces of information. I learned as much as I could from them but ultimately I had to learn a lot of it on my own.

You don’t have to go through what I did. I’m gonna share the exact steps I’ve taken to write all of my research papers and tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years to make the process a little more painless.

Settle on a topic

The first thing when you start to write a research paper that your professor will ask for is a research proposal. This is supposed to give them an idea of the area that you’re interested in. Usually, at first, the proposal isn’t set in stone but more so a jumping-off point.

If you’re in a class where the topics are broad it might be hard to pinpoint and area in particular that you’re interested in. It helps if you think about your research paper in a broader view first and then hone in on the details.

So the questions you’ll want to answer at first:

What types of topics are you fascinated by?

What materials do you have accessible to you? (at your library or online)

What types of questions do you want the answer to? (one with a definite answer or a more broad type of answer)

Answering those questions at first can give you an idea of where your interest is leading. If you have interest in multiple topics in the class you can start to dig in and see if there’s an intersection in the topics that you could put together.

Coming up with a good focus will make or break your paper because if you pick a topic with too little information then you can’t really do much research and if you pick a topic that you're not that interested in it will be hard to spend the time needed to write a good paper.

It’s okay to spend some time thinking about it, talk to the people in the class and see what their research topics are, ask the professor research topics that others have covered in the past, go the library and see what types of books are available in the subject and see if anything jump out at you.

Once you’ve spent the time to ensure that you have a topic that sounds interesting to you, you need to start thinking of the logistic so you can include it in your research proposal

The next questions you want to answer are:

What area is your research question looking at?

What methodologies are you using?

Where do you plan to get your sources?

Who are thought leaders in your research category? ( authors, scholars etc)

Why is your research topic relevant (What is the impact? )

Those are a few of the things you'll include in your proposal. Usually, as an undergraduate, your proposal is just a few paragraphs, usually 1-3 depending on your school and the discipline. It really should just be a short synopsis covering why your topic is relevant and how you plan to answer the question or topic that you've picked.

Finding resources in college can be really hard…

If you don’t know some who knows someone, it can feel like you can’t get anything done. As a first-generation, college student I had to figure out how to navigate college from SCRATCH and what I found is that apps and websites can be my personal assistant.

I’ve figured out how to create a budget, find fun things to do for ZERO dollars and also how to stay healthy and generally sane during college. I’ve been there and I know how hard it is to navigate your way around finding the best resources so I created a list of FREE and inexpensive resources that are complete lifesavers. Don’t worry I won’t mention the obvious ones like Google suite.

Money Management

Mint- Tracking and Creating a budget

Truebill- Cutting subscriptions and tracking bills

Clarity Money- Spending and Subscription tracker

Zelle- Send money from your bank without a fee

Digit- Start creating and accomplishing saving Goals

Credit Karma- Credit tracker

Making More Money

Poshmark- Selling unwanted clothes

Bambino- Babysitting

Usit- Babysitting

Google Adsense- Monetizing your blog/Youtube Channel

Alamy- Sell stock photos

Upwork- Freelance work

Studysoup- Become a Notetaker

Learning tools

Skillshare- learning new skills and digital courses

Linkedin learning- Learning new skills and networking  

Quizlet-Making and sharing quizzes

Grammarly-Editing and Grammar app

JSTOR-  Research Materials and articles