#scanielax

“Fuck,” Scotty says as he tries to hide his boner from view and wriggle away from Daniel. “Shit, fuck, Jesus, fuck.”

“Wait, are you Max?” Daniel says. “Scotty man, fuck, I thought he was legit like, twelve years old.”

“I’m nineteen,” Max says sourly. 

“Do you fucking mind?” Scotty says. His voice is very high. 

“Yes,” Max says and Daniel–Daniel snorts. He rolls off Scotty’s bed and extends his hand to Max.

“I’m Daniel,” Daniel says. “I’m sorry I’m making you look at my boner before we’ve officially met.”

For a moment, Scotty’s sure Max is having some kind of episode. His entire face creases up and his mouth twists and only then Scotty realises what’s happening. Max is smiling. 

*****

Every time Scotty wants to complain about Max to Daniel, Daniel makes an infuriating hmm-ing noise and says I don’t know, mate, he seems okay to me. Somehow, he’s weirdly amused by Max and completely unwilling to yes, and whenever Scotty’s describing Max’s objectively batshit behaviour. It’s weird–Daniel used to be one of Scotty’s more agreeable friends. Not like, a doormat, but if Scotty made a point of something long or often enough, Daniel was usually chill enough to side with him. This stupid Max thing is the first time Scotty can remember in a long time where Daniel’s just–not budging. 

“Just go out for a drink with him, mate,” Daniel says, when Scotty’s in the middle of a story about Max’s beeping and whirring engineering project keeping him awake. “Be his Yoda and lead him into a heroic life of underage drinking and hooking up with freshmen.”

“Who the fuck is Yoda?” Scotty asks and Daniel just laughs at him. Something freaky twists in Scotty’s stomach and before he’s thought about what he’s doing, his mouth is against Daniel’s and Daniel’s not laughing anymore, he’s making breathy little noises into Scotty’s mouth. Usually, when Scotty kisses Daniel, it’s a prelude to getting him to suck Scotty’s dick, but now they kiss for like fifteen minutes without anything else happening. It’s–it’s–

“Okay,” Scotty says. “I’ll take him out for a fucking drink, whatever, but you’re coming too.”

It’s even less fun than Scotty imagined it’d be, and that’s a tall fucking order. Every time Scotty tries to ask Max a question, Max gives him a look that implies he’d prefer Scotty would just drop dead right then and there and answers in the least amount of syllables he can get away with. Then he turns to Daniel and amps up the charm. And the strangest part is, it’s working. Daniel keeps laughing–his unflattering honk laugh–and looking at Scotty with this look that’s saying see, not so bad, huh? As if this entire situation isn’t going to end with Max surgically attached to Daniel’s side as he tries to teach this kid raised by wolves the ways of humankind. When Scotty thinks enough time has passed he can say he’s made at least something akin to an effort, he announces he’s leaving and Daniel gestures at his half-full glass. It’s like, normal for him to want to finish that, so Scotty doesn’t feel weird about leaving Daniel and Max in the bar. He also doesn’t feel weird that it takes Max until like 2 in the morning to return. If Daniel’s keen on hanging out with Max, that’s fine. More than fine even, if it means Max is hanging out in their room less so Scotty can luxuriously jerk off in bed instead of having to whack it in the showers. Excellent. 

*****

“DR!” Scotty says when Daniel finally answers his phone. “Don’t tell me you’ve been studying.”

“I’d never,” Daniel says and Scotty can hear the smile in his voice. “Just been busy. How’s it hanging?”

“Same as the last time you checked,” Scotty says and Daniel’s laugh is shocked out of him loudly. Usually, Scotty keeps the references to their–thing to a minimum and whenever Daniel mentions it he gets a hot-tight-flighty feeling, but it’s like–Scotty’s an adult. It happens. He can–it happens. “You got plans tonight?”

“Yep,” Daniel says and Scotty waits for the inevitable offer to reschedule them so he can hang out with Scotty instead, but it doesn’t come. “Tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Scotty says and there’s not really a reason to extend the conversation from there on, so he hangs up. Max isn’t in the room at least so Scotty can watch a movie on his laptop without having to deal with headphones. It’s the small things, in life.

*****

They’re sitting around a campfire, drinking beer and someone’s playing terrible music on a badly tuned guitar. Weed smoke is making Scotty’s eyes prickle and people are throwing bottle caps into the fire to make them pop. It’s such a cliche college night Scotty’s feeling a little sentimental over it. One more year and then they’ll all fly out and get jobs and shit. Buy houses. Get married.

At the other side of the fire, Daniel’s having an animated conversation with a guy Scotty’s seen in some of his econ lectures. Maybe–it’s been a while since Scotty’s hooked up with Daniel. He tries not to do it too often, so people don’t get the wrong idea. Not that he’s telling anyone, but in case they found out, they wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Anyway, like a month has passed since the last time, so it’s like–they could. Max said he’d be out tonight so they can go to Scotty’s. One time, when he was drunk enough, Scotty had pushed Daniel’s thighs together and got off by fucking in between them and he’d thought it felt like Daniel was–as if–and he’d come like a firecracker had gone off, sudden and explosive and leaving his ears ringing. Tonight, he could–

“Alright-y, I’m off,” Daniel says, slapping the sand off the backs of his thighs when he stands up. 

“Hot date?” Blake asks and Daniel wiggles his eyebrows. For a moment, Scotty’s not sure what his face is doing. Every one of his features has to be dragged into place manually–widening his mouth into a grin, raising his eyebrows. He never has to think about how to look or what to say, but nothing’s coming naturally right now. Ten minutes later, when Daniel’s long gotten into his car and driven off, Scotty realises it must be the cloud of weed smoke he’s been sitting in all evening. His brain’s just slow from the second-hand high. He goes home with some girl that came with a friend of a friend of Blake’s and fucks her in her little dorm room and although he usually bails before breakfast, it feels nice to stay, for once. Scotty curls around her sleeping body and puts his face against the back of her neck. Her curly hair smells of campfire smoke. 

*****

“You wanna get out of here?” Scotty asks, only a whisper of space between Daniel’s neck and his mouth. He can see the fine hairs on Daniel’s skin stand up under the agitation of his breath and suddenly he’s so turned on it’s making him feel woozy. 

“Ohh, hi there Mel Gibson,” Daniel says, tapping the tip of Scotty’s nose. “You’re drunk-drunk, aren’t you?”

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Scotty says. He tries to look up to Daniel from beneath his lashes, but it might just be making him look sleepy because Daniel’s barely biting back a laugh.

“True,” Daniel acquiesces. “But I’m sensing a major infection of whisky dick and I’m hearing they found the first case of hand-to-skin contamination last week so I’m not taking any chances.”

“Why don’t you–” Scotty says and just in time he can swallow the rest of that sentence so it settles back into his stomach, the words want, me and anymore sitting heavy between the sour bile that threatens to come up. Something in his voice must have been off because the smile slips off Daniel’s face and he turns towards Scotty fully now. Daniel’s sturdier than he looks, Scotty knows that. Or his body does, keeps wanting to sag against Daniel’s. 

“You okay, mate?” Daniel asks quietly and Scotty looks at the familiar lines of his face, his sharp angles and the soft curls of his hair. His hand comes to rest on Scotty’s shoulder, thumb resting in the hollow of his collar bone.

“Yeah,” Scotty says and shakes off Daniel’s hand. “I need–I gotta–fuck.”

He just makes it outside before the contents of his stomach gush up his esophagus and he’s left gasping for air on the stupid porch of this stupid house party. Daniel comes to find him and pats his back sympathetically. The pained sound Scotty makes is because his throat is raw from chasing five jägerbombs mixed with bile through it. 

*****

Daniel and Max have been hanging out a lot lately, Scotty suddenly realises. Maybe Max knows why Daniel’s so flaky.

“Has Daniel–” Scotty asks and then swallows the rest of his words because Jesus Christ, what is he doing? Max perks up at the mention of Daniel’s name and Scotty–humiliatingly, Scotty really wants to know what the fuck’s going on with Daniel.

“Is Daniel seeing someone?” Scotty asks and Max’s eyes narrow.

“Why?” he asks. “Is he not hooking up with you anymore?”

Apparently, Scotty’s expression speaks truths his mouth doesn’t want to admit to because Max’s stupid face smooths out in amusement.

“Good,” Max says and Scotty sputters. “You don’t deserve him.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Scotty snaps and Max leans back into his chair. A smug expression is settling in his pimply face. Scotty hates him so fucking much.

“I mean he’s too good for you,” Max says. “He is funny and beautiful and nice and you–”

“Nevermind, I don’t actually care what you have to say,” Scotty says. He doesn’t have to sit here and listen to Max, whose opinion doesn’t matter and who doesn’t know what he’s talking about anyway. First of all, Daniel’s been Scotty’s friend for approximately how long Max has been alive, so it’s really fucking annoying that Max acts like he’s the only one that gets that Daniel’s a swell guy. And somehow, he seems to be under the impression that Scotty wants to like, go steady with Daniel. Scotty’s looking for someone to drink and go on day trips with and if that’s the same person that wants to touch his dick, fine, but if not, no skin off his back. 

“Okay,” Max says cheerfully and turns back to his project. Scotty closes his eyes. Counts to ten. And then promises himself that tomorrow, before Max is back from his class, Scotty will let himself go back to the room and shake all of Max’s cans of Red Bull so they explode in Max’s face and, if Scotty’s really lucky, drown him. 

*****

Except Scotty keeps thinking about it. Their time at college is almost over. He doesn’t know what Daniel’s going to do after this. Where he’s setting off to. There’s nothing that’s going to keep him near Scotty, next year. Maybe Daniel’s going to move to Europe. Or go work on an oil rig for six months per year. Scotty keeps thinking about the campfire, about how Daniel’s just allowed to say he’ll leave and then leave. 

He needs–Scotty needs to talk to Daniel. Man to man. Bro to bro. He needs to talk to Daniel and ask him whether he’s planning on moving to Europe. Scotty needs to talk to Daniel and then after they talk he just–Scotty has only hooked up with like, two people in the last six weeks and both of those times were, like, mid at best. 

“I’m going out,” Scotty tells Max, who doesn’t look up from his phone. There’s something in Scotty’s stomach that feels like fear and excitement had a baby and it’s making him feel giddy and nauseated at the same time. “Don’t wait up.”

That gets Max’s attention, in the form of a bewildered stare. All the way to Daniel’s dorm, Scotty feels his heart beat in his throat, thrumming against the back of his tongue. He’s just going to ask Daniel to let Scotty know if he’s planning on big changes in the coming–year? Five years? 

Only Daniel isn’t at his dorm. So maybe he’s–probably he’s not at the library, but Scotty checks it anyway. Daniel’s not answering his phone. Five years is a long time. Probably in five years, Scotty’ll be married to some girl, hopefully with a rich dad, maybe a kid on the way. But somehow when Scotty thinks about it, he sees Daniel around too. 

Daniel’s not at the library. Or the dive bar near the campus. He’s not with Blake, or Josh. The frenetic energy inside Scotty slowly fizzles out until he’s left feeling–it’s better, probably, he didn’t speak to Daniel. The longer Scotty thinks about it, the more he starts feeling like he experienced some kind of momentary insanity. Maybe Scotty’s the one that’s going to move to Europe. See what Daniel does then. Scotty picked this college and Daniel followed him around, he doesn’t have any reason to think the coming years are going to be different. And if he doesn’t, well, that’s not a–

There’s music playing, which is why it takes them a moment to notice Scotty’s there after he opens the door. In that split second, Scotty’s eyes jump around, focusing on one thing at a time, but unable to add them all together. The messy heap of clothes strewn carelessly on the nasty dorm carpet. Max’s naked back and ass and legs, except he’s somehow still wearing one sock. And the leg thrown around his hips. From where Scotty stands, he can read the text of the tattoo perfectly. No regrets, only memories.