He's playing Fuck Marry Kill with the three random celebrities generator and trying to make the other guys join as well.

When it's Eddie's turn, he's having none of it "they're just gonna get mad at me because I know no one! let me live in peace!"

Gareth insists until he shoves the phone in Eddie's face, giving him no chance to escape. The filter generates three pictures on top of Eddie's face.

"I have no fucking clue who these people-" he stops talking as his eyes focus on the last picture, it's a man around his age with voluminous hair and beautiful features. Eddie pulls the phone up close, ripping it out of Gareth's hand, to have a better look.

"you okay man?" Gareth asks, out of frame.

"Kiss, have sex with, marry, and adopt a puppy with him," he says, pointing at the guy on the screen "kill the other two."

"That's not how you play man, the fuck??" Gareth appears in frame and looks at the celebrities "you mean the third guy? are you serious?"

Eddie glares at him sideways "have you fucking seen him? he's a fucking-" but the video is cut off by the time limit.

The most liked comment under the video is by none other than famous baseball player Steve Harrington:

"I'm more of a cat type, but how about we discuss it over dinner? ;)"

--

His roommate is there a lot.

His new growing fanbase doesn’t take long to divide into factions regarding Steve’s dating life and sexuality; There are ships, OTPs, people who want him single so they can date him, and a surprisingly small portion which questions his heterosexuality, which gets always shut up by the following compelling arguments:

“stop assuming he’s gay.”

“Steve doesn’t look gay. He’s just a guy, a former jock, who loves to cook and hangs out with friends. A friend more than the others, but it’s his roommate so it makes sense, right?”

“And yes, they do cuddle while watching movies, but who doesn’t love a cuddle? You don’t have to be gay for that.”

“Sure, they hold hands when they go out but the city is crowded and they might lose each other.”

“Since when two male friends can’t be close without assuming that they’re gay?”

“Have you ever seen them kiss in ten minutes of weekly vlog? No, so drop your gay agenda already.”

And Steve Harrington, who started the whole vlog thing in the first place because he wanted to update his friends who live miles away and still doesn’t know how he got this much heteronormative bullcrap in his comments, has had enough.

One day, Steve Just-A-Guy Harrington, wakes up and chooses violence.

He replies to a tiktok comment that says “stop assuming he’s gay” with another video.

It begins with Steve glaring at the camera “oh yes please, stop assuming I’m gay.”

Then there’s a quick motion and Steve is pulling a curly haired guy into frame: Eddie, his roommate/platonic friend/totally not his boyfriend of 5+ years.

Eddie yawns, looking sleepily at the camera “are you vlogging?”

“I’m proving a point” Steve replies, then kisses him. They almost get lost into it, but Steve is a man on a mission, so he pulls back and turns to the camera.

“This is Eddie, my boyfriend. Not a friend who’s a boy, you delusional homophobes, we are together, a couple, in a relationship. We haven’t been just friends for over 5 years. We live together, he isn’t just a roommate.

And even if he was just my roommate, do you think I would live with this” he squeezes Eddie’s cheeks between his fingers and zooms in to show his face up close. Eddie blinks a couple of times, but let’s Steve do whatever he wants.

“Do you seriously think that I would live with this 24/7 and stay straight? Like, are you insane?” He gives Eddie a quick smack on the lips, leaving him blushing and more confused than ever.

Usually, it’s Eddie the one getting almost feral over Steve, not the other way around.

He doesn’t complain.

“So yeah, stop assuming I’m gay. Because I’m bi, you homophobic little shits.”

The video ends with Eddie pulling Steve for more than a quick peck on the lips, and Steve throwing the phone on their couch, face down.

Somehow, under Steve’s video, there’s still someone that comments “I mean, this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just bros helping bros, right?”

Dustin replies jokingly with "Yeah and this is your husband, Steve" and rolls his eyes.

And if Eddie has some memory of parenting Dustin, he doesn't recall ever being in a relationship with Steve, which makes him come to the conclusion that he must've lost his memory.

Dustin feels immensely guilty as Eddie keeps apologizing to Steve in tears, for forgetting such a "wonderful and beautiful husband".

It goes on for a few days and surprisingly, Steve gets quickly adjusted to being Eddie's husband.

When Eddie is finally better and doesn't need that many painkillers, he still remembers how he acted around Dustin and Steve.

He's too embarrassed to face them again so he asks his uncle to keep them away if they ever come to visit again. And they do.

Steve barges into the hospital room "What the hell is going on?"

Eddie can't blabber anything coherent so Steve presses "Do you want to divorce me? is that it?"

To which, for some unknown reason, Eddie takes offense to "What the fuck, Harrington?"

"Oh, I'm 'Harrington' now? great" he replies, clearly pissed "No, fantastic! You'll have a word with my lawyer."

"Lawyer??"

"I'm taking Dustin and you'll have to pay for child support!"

"You can't take Dustin! He's my kid too!"

Wayne and Dustin observe their whole discussion from the entrance door, too scared to come into the room.

"Does Steve really have a lawyer?" Wayne muses.

Like, imagine them sleeping together, for the first time, in the heat of the moment and then there’s a sound from downstairs and Steve takes half a second to grab a fucking nailed bat seemingly out of nowhere?? And Eddie being like okay that’s it I’m gonna die, I just slept with a serial killer wow

And Steve is like what?? Why would I use this on a human

Greatest Wingman In History Steve writing this in Robin’s place and making her deliver it to her coffee shop crush, Chrissy.

Steve: Nancy, code name: "Been There, Done That"

Steve: Eddie is "Currently Doing That"

Steve: Jonathan is "It Happened Once In A Dream"

Steve: Argyle code name is "If I Had To Pick A Bro"

Steve: Robin is… "Eagle Two"

Gareth is in charge of the Corroded Coffin official TikTok account, he's playing Fuck Marry Kill with the three random celebrities filters and trying to make the other guys join as well.

When it's Eddie's turn, he's having none of it until he sees the three celebrities on top of his head.

He has no clue who these people are, but the one in the middle? Eddie is sure he's going to marry him someday.

Eddie has yet to find out that the guy is none other than baseball player Steve Harrington, 1/3 of the "Ladykiller Trio", currently playing for the Yomiuri Giants. In Japan.

And when things get too complicated for Eddie's liking, thankfully he has Gareth on his side.

Gareth the Matchmaker (1/?) - AO3 Next

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