#santaclyde

I imagine he only enjoys the attention he gets from performative attraction to women.

He was pretty enthusiastic about the thought of Butters in drag getting “pounded.”

He visited the Tweek and Craig yaoi art show with a smile on his face.

Women's bodies have been proven to be more aesthetically pleasing to look at, and it is shown that this doesn't have to be sexual in nature. Clyde confuses the fact he likes admiring female bodies with being sexually attracted to women.

In addition to the performative heterosexuality, Clyde also compensates for his repressed sexuality by acting over-masculine. 

oh boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

•Who said “I love you” first

-Cartman!! He was having a rough time and Stan was the only one there for him so he just had to let him know!

•Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

-Stan's background is the pic of Cartman he has saved among Wendy's selfies you know the one

•Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

-Cartman does if you count drawing dicks

•Who buys the other cheesy gifts

-Both of them they love to treat each other

•Who initiated the first kiss

-Stan! Cartman probably had just spilled his heart to him completely and Stan is a romantic fool so he was touched and just had to do something

•Who kisses the other awake in the morning

-Cartman. He also clings to him with every limb

•Who starts tickle fights

-STAN DOES... and Cartman hates it but he knows it makes Stan happy so he toughs it out

•Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

-Cartman. every single time.

•Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

-Stan bc he's very thoughtful!! He'll make him some cute little sandwiches and pack his favorite chips and Cartman is damn near tears

•Who was nervous and shy on the first date

-Cartman bc this is the one person he does not want to make a bad impression on, until Stan reminds him "dude, I've known you my whole life... and look where we are now. Of all possible things, having poor date etiquette is not gonna turn me away from you. Just chill out :)"

•Who kills/takes out the spiders

-Cartman for sure it makes him feel like a HERO! n Stan is like "Yea thanks I could have done it I just didn't wanna get up"

•Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk