We should deromanticize holding hands and hugging. I never understood why something as casual and simple like holding someone's hand is the de facto way to show a romantic relationship in media. Many cultures around the world do these things in platonic ways, so why can't that be the case everywhere? Like, why can't I hug my friends without people thinking I'm "in love" with them? Anyway, as an aro ace person, it's hard to be close to someone without everyone else thinking that you're automatically in love with them.
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I love how cats feel the need to just sit on anything new to them. Doesn’t matter what it is. Whether it’s boxes, papers, or even clothes, they’ll sit on it on stare at you with a cute glare like they own the world!
Why are cats usually the pets in fictional media that are the villains or portrayed as "bad"? Many stories imply that cats are always selfish, materialistic, or unloving. That couldn't be further from the truth! I have a lot of cats myself, and they all love me very dearly. I mean, I never liked them portrayed that way, but after actually adopting cats, I roll my eyes when they are lazily the bad ones in a story. Cats are wonderful and great pets! That's the truth.
I'm back, it's been a while! I'm doing better now and have returned to both Tumblr and Discord. Sorry if I worried everyone. It's good to be back and part of the Hvnters once again! If any of you want to talk, I'd be glad to. I'll post an update on what to expect from my blog going forward later today. For now, I'm happy to be on here again for old times' sake!
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I truly have sad news, everyone. It pains me to say this, but this will most likely be my last post on here. I know this is surprising to hear after my last announcement post, and I didn't think it would come to this, either. However, with my sharply declining mental health, hellish personal life, negative dashboard posts, and the people I hurt still being nearby, being here only makes me feel anxious and sad. So, I'll explain this all a bit right here.
I officially have quit writing and it makes me sad, to be honest. It was my passion for the longest time and a way to finally express myself without people trying to control my life and look down on my unsociable self. It felt like a dream come true having a community like this. However, I've come to realize that the way I write and interact with others about it is egotistical, selfish, and inaccessible to most people. This drives readers away from my works and makes me feel bad about expressing myself. So, I'll stop because of that, and the lack of engagement/support on them is another reason. It sucks, but I just don't have it in me anymore if people just ignore them. It's not like they were very good or added much on this platform, anyway...
I will also stop reblogging other people's stuff, liking, commenting, and just interacting in general as well. This is due to me severely hurting a few people with them and being annoying and overbearing with my overly honest personality. I know it's annoying having me pop up everywhere and being excessive about analysis/praise I give other people's fics. I thought I was being helpful and supportive as a fellow writer, but this eventually turned into being too much and making others uncomfortable. I'm truly sorry for that, so I'll make sure I stop so I don't hurt anyone ever again. And I just don't have the energy to keep up with everyone's posts either, sorry about that as well.
I also realize my posts that vent and open up about my personal life is off-putting and perhaps selfish. I know it's not easy to read and I'm sorry for making you all worry. It's not your responsibility to bear, it's entirely mine, even if I don't know how to solve it all by myself... I honestly don't know if I'll even be okay, my thoughts are starting to become suicidal and self-destructive lately.
Finally, I'm mainly leaving here due to me being too afraid and unsafe of those I upset. When I mess up, I take it VERY hard and run away, since I hate hurting people and feel horribly guilty every time I see them. It's painful to keep being around them. I never thought me being so loving and helpful to others would pose any problems, but I was wrong and that's unforgivable. I wanted to be a good person, but I can't be if I make others feel bad and drive them away. I feel like I don't deserve to be on here when I do things like that... So, I'll get off here to make sure this platform feels safer and not hurt anyone else again.
All in all, posts and interactions will stop on here for the foreseeable future, but the blog will be left up as it is for anyone who wants to see this. By tomorrow night, I will have logged out of all devices and left this behind, so I'll interact with any comments or asks I get until then. I'll still be on the Discord server or DMs, but I might have to leave those too if things don't get better... I'm truly sorry about all this, my mutuals and fellow members. It's not your faults, it's mine for being such an awful person that became what they hate without ever realizing it. I wish I could've done better and been the person I wanted to be, but I can't and will probably not get better anytime soon, by the looks of it...
To finish this, I just wanted to say that I'm truly sorry to all those I hurt. I never wanted to and I hope you'll be safer now that I'm leaving, consider it my punishment for what I've done. I want you all to have fun on here, and I won't get in the way of that any longer. I'm sorry Gwen, Kat, Ruu, Isirah, Mila, Ari, Nervo, Sunni, and everyone else who interacted with my posts a lot. I'm sorry to any other followers of mine (which I know there aren't many). And I'm sorry to all other Hvnters, I've been a bad member. I failed all of you and brought you all down... I know this won't fix what I did, but I hope this can at least be a way I can slowly change over time and make everyone feel safer to be on here from now on. I want this to make up for my actions, even just a little...
Anyway, goodbye to everyone! I still love all of you and am thankful for all the good memories, comforting words, fun fic interactions, and bonds we formed. You can find me on Discord if you ever want to talk. Good luck on all your lives and I hope you all have fun. I may be gone on here for now, but I treasure all the good times I had here, really. I wish I was that person I always dreamed to be, and I tried my best, which is all I can do. Even if I'm gone, I hope you all still continue to be your wonderful selves. I'll be doing my best! Thanks for everything!
I feel like my life's getting back on track at last. I appreciate everyone who interacts with me and helps me out. Love you all, you're so sweet and the best!
