#sad broken

It hurts >”<

So since years ago I started a blog on here and my life is filing out of control I was utterly in love with a man a man I thought love me back the money left I realized that can’t possibly be. Four months later and after so since years ago I started a blog on here and my life was filing out of control I was utterly in love with a man a man I thought love me back and when he left I realized that can’t possibly be. Four months later and after A gruesome summer of downward spiral he came back I thought this is it this is my luck I knew it I can feel we were soulmates. Gosh was I wrong I let him back and I trusted him and today I said alone abandoned ignored thrown away disregarded discarded and confused. How could I have been so stupid . That’s a man came back just to pass the time in six years to be exact. It turns out it wasn’t me he loved it all but some fat ugly Mary Bitch with money that’s who he wants and needs he said so many things that weren’t even true and all along I thought he loved me I thought I meant something I now understand that that wasn’t the case that I was nothing special I was just something for him to play with until the person he really loved came back. This man has obviously lied, abused mentally tortured physically harmed and spiritually devastated the last six years of my life. To family and friends I’m supposed to just suck it up and MoveOn little do they know this has scarred and rocked the very core of my soul little do they know I’m broken and numb. Little do they know I can’t stop shaking my heart is saying this can’t possibly be true hold on don’t let go yet there’s got to be an exclamation but my brain is telling me it’s done let go he doesn’t love you he never did get past the pain and the lies I love yourself give yourself something he never wanted to respect give yourself something you had to beg for acknowledgment . Love yourself because you will find no one else is going to love you. he never did. As I sit and wonder how I forget the last six years and pick up my pieces and move forward it seems near impossible I guess you fake it till you make it . the smile I will be wearing from here on out is most certainly fake. My heart is in pieces and my faith in people is dead. I am forever closed to love and I now lack the trust you need to open your heart.

So since years ago I started a blog on here and my life is filing out of control I was utterly in love with a man a man I thought love me back the money left I realized that can’t possibly be. Four months later and after so since years ago I started a blog on here and my life was filing out of control I was utterly in love with a man a man I thought love me back and when he left I realized that can’t possibly be. Four months later and after A gruesome summer of downward spiral he came back I thought this is it this is my luck I knew it I can feel we were soulmates. Gosh was I wrong I let him back and I trusted him and today I said alone abandoned ignored thrown away disregarded discarded and confused. How could I have been so stupid . That’s a man came back just to pass the time in six years to be exact. It turns out it wasn’t me he loved it all but some fat ugly Mary Bitch with money that’s who he wants and needs he said so many things that weren’t even true and all along I thought he loved me I thought I meant something I now understand that that wasn’t the case that I was nothing special I was just something for him to play with until the person he really loved came back. This man has obviously lied, abused mentally tortured physically harmed and spiritually devastated the last six years of my life. To family and friends I’m supposed to just suck it up and MoveOn little do they know this has scarred and rocked the very core of my soul little do they know I’m broken and numb. Little do they know I can’t stop shaking my heart is saying this can’t possibly be true hold on don’t let go yet there’s got to be an exclamation but my brain is telling me it’s done let go he doesn’t love you he never did get past the pain and the lies I love yourself give yourself something he never wanted to respect give yourself something you had to beg for acknowledgment . Love yourself because you will find no one else is going to love you. he never did. As I sit and wonder how I forget the last six years and pick up my pieces and move forward it seems near impossible I guess you fake it till you make it . the smile I will be wearing from here on out is most certainly fake. My heart is in pieces and my faith in people is dead. I am forever closed to love and I now lack the trust you need to open your heart.

The bed's getting cold but you are not here