#sacricore

New cover photo

This was so fun to do as a way to apply the stuff I've practiced! I'll continue to practice rendering anatomy more :D

Alternative version:

Unlaced

Mad Hatter:

Once upon a heartbreak, I have never been someone who can fit into a crowd. The day I started kindergarten I was a subject of ridicule. Being bullied since 6 years old does things to your mind, but luckily I have learned the older I get that being one of those who can “Fit In” means caring about things and people that aren’t worth my time. I just wish that little 6 year-old girl could know that. 

Pity Party:

True story, no one ever snubbed me an invitation to my birthday parties. Oh, they’d tease me at school and make me cry, but if cake was involved they were THERE FOR THAT! My hurt feelings totally forgotten. Lil’ bitches.

Class Fight:

True story, I’ve never had a physical altercation with anyone in my class. The closest thing that ever happened was Megan Ca**ou making fun of me for liking Barbie and Disney films (we were in 4th grade). I told her at least it was better than being mean to others and treating them like trash because they are sad inside. She never teased me again after that.

Lunchbox Friends:

True story,  I heard tales of girls that would only be friends with other girls (but only during school), luckily I was too weird to be a target of that nonsense. However, Noella was my "friend" in 4th grade, until a girl named Daniel came into her life. She had transferred from another school and Noella ditched me for her without an explanation and I spent MONTHS trying to figure out what I had done wrong in order for her to not want to be my friend anymore. The only conclusion I have come to is that Daniel was new, therefore cool, and I was not.

Detention:

True story, I never got in so much trouble that I ever had to go to detention. The closest thing that ever happened was when my 4th grade teacher took myself and Noella into our empty classroom and informed us that our exclusion of Amy from our games was cruel and we should be ashamed. She particularly targeted me because she said: “You know what it’s like when kids are mean to you, so you should know better.” She made us write apology letters to Amy which we then had to read to her. Noella didn’t really care, but I did. Amy and I made up after that, but there was something Mrs. R didn’t know about Amy. She was exhausting to be around and I was always tasked with taking care of her. forcing us to continue our friendship was unbelievably damaging on my soul, but as my school had a nasty habit of trying to separate the neuro-divergent kids from the neuro-typical kids, I assume that was a plot (whether conscious or not) to keep the "retards" together and the rest of the class "pure".

Dollhouse:

Once upon a heartbreak, I did a show with this girl named Kiki who I thought was my friend. She pretended to be my friend. She had a large mansion of a house, but my mom said that her mother was superficial and that her daughter was just the same. One day we had some kind of fight during the production of our show My Fair Lady and she told me that she never wanted to be invited to my house again and made me promise. I had invited her to my house previously a few weeks prior and my mom was convinced that she wasn’t impressed by our middle-class living. Later when she got older, she learned how to not be such a snit, but at the time of our fight it was very painful and I cried off-stage during that show. Something I would do again, only much later.

Nurse’s Office:

True story, I’ve never faked on illness in school just so I could go home. However, I did have a friend who used to “fake” issues just so she didn’t have to participate in gym class. At the time I felt she was just being lazy, but now I think her bi-polar disease affected her so badly during that time that doing gym just made her feel even more exhausted. Mental illness is complicated.  

Orange Juice:

True story, I have never really suffered from an eating disorder (like bulimia or anorexia). However, I did go to school with these two girls who started modeling when we went to high school. I’m not sure about the younger sister, Danielle, but I do know that Crystal stopped eating properly just so she could stay within the “thin” parameters that were being set for her by the modeling company. I thought it was disgusting back then and I still do to this day.

Pacify Her:

True story, I have never deliberately taken a boy away from another girl. However, there was this incident that happened in high school, where this boy I had Tech Class with (named Larry) broke up with his girlfriend just so he could ask me out to Homecoming (and subsequently ask me to be his new girlfriend). Oddly enough more people in all my classes knew about this before I did. Biology Class, English Class, and Math Class, everyone was telling me not to date Larry (boys and girls, both), people who had never previously talked to me, told me not to. And even his girlfriend (who was going to beat up the girl who took her place, up until she realized it was me) told me that he was a terrible boyfriend and to not do it. I said yes to Homecoming (because no one else was asking me out and if I'm being honest I really wanted to live this high school experience so my reasons were completely selfish and I regret nothing) and no to being his girlfriend, however.

Cake:

Once upon a heartbreak, there was a boy who told me that he loved me, but wouldn’t date me. Phil was older than me and I believed every word he ever said. I was going to CWU and in their Drama Department is where I met him. He should have known better than to mess with a girl who was so much younger than him.

Drama Club:

Once upon a heartbreak, I did indeed sign up for drama club. Every summer since I was 8. It was the only thing I ever wanted to do and was convinced that the people in my plays were kindred family. Turns out, most people who do drama are as fake as the paper mache that they use to make the masks they wear. No one really knows how to be genuine and hold onto real empathy. Few can, but if they do they don’t tend to stay very long. It’s a self-preservation tactic.

Gingerbread Man:

Once upon a heartbreak, I dated two men back to back who completely broke me into tiny pieces. My heart was so hallowed out that I couldn’t feel that emotion we call love. I would delve into the space in my chakra where it should have been living, but there was nothing there. It was then that I decided that if were ever to date again there were going to be some Guidelines. That’s when I made the phrase “NO MORE WOLVES” my life mantra.    

High School Sweethearts:

Remember those Guidelines I mentioned before? Yeah, I had a lot of them and zero compromise would be met on my end. If these couldn’t be met, please move on.

1.   Accept my silly nature and don’t make fun of me.

2.  Marriage is the end game. No fucking around and then leaving me.

3. Sex. Please don’t leave me alone for hours and ignore me when I want attention.

4.     4. I want to be your one and only.

5.     5. Treat me like the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

6.     6. Did I already mention, sex?

7.     7. And I want to be your one and only, did I already say that?

8.     8. Hold me when I cry.

9.     9. I said sex already didn’t I?

10. BDSM please?

11. Don’t leave me.

12. Don’t waste my time.

Luckily, I got my wish.

Mrs. Potato Head:

Once upon a heartbreak, I tried to become a professional cosplayer; even went so far as to make an account on Cosplay.com, but it turns out that the community is super toxic and looking at pictures of other (younger) cosplayers makes you feel like you aren’t good enough, thin enough, pretty enough. I dismantled my account and haven’t cosplayed very much since. I also tried to turn myself into the woman that I thought Phil wanted by trying to be a sophisticated ballerina lady; my attempts failed me.

Milk and Cookies:

Once upon a heartbreak, my friend Heather and I were at an SCA event and low-and-behold who should suddenly appear but that wolf, Phil. He recognized me from a distance and came over to talk to me like none of the pain he had caused me in the past ever happened. It was 98 degrees outside and Heather said my hand turned to ice in hers. He walked with us for a while and I noticed that now that time had passed (and even though he was married) the wolf seemed interested in me again. Not this time sir! NO MORE WOLVES!

Play Date:

Once upon a heartbreak, there was a boy who I met in Hot Topic who was hanging out with my friend, Karly. He told me I was beautiful and we started hanging out. Sex was on his agenda, but I was ready, so I let it happen. Turns out though, he had a girlfriend that he neglected to tell me about (we had been sleeping together for about a month before I found out). She was crazy and threatened to kill me, until I told her that he never told me about her. That flipped the tables quick. They eventually broke up and we started sleeping together again; a stupid decision perhaps but at least I never said yes to dating him. Cheaters gonna cheat.

Recess:

True story, a long time ago my father told me that people can be sneaky and shady. “Never let them tie an anchor to you and drag you down to their level. You can’t push a wet noodle. Keep reaching for the stars. If certain people in your life are toxic, cut ‘em loose.” I have headed that wisdom more and more the older I get.

Show & Tell:

True story, I have never been famous or popular, but I have had to defend myself a couple of times in my life when weaker people tried to wreak my life. The first time was my ex-boyfriend who was spreading rumors that I had cheated on him while we were dating (I didn’t, he was just listening to theater gossip and playing the victim). The second time was a friend who was in a very unhealthy relationship and mental deterioration decided to make very big changes to her life without counseling and I was expected to follow, no questions asked. I didn't and she turned many people against me. Still…I persevere.

Sippy Cup:

True story, I have never been so insecure that I have gotten plastic surgery or done a mass amount of drugs to forget (or appear cool). But I have worked with and gone to school with a number of girls who have lived and breathed that life style. You can’t keep that up forever, dearies. It comes back to haunt you later.

Strawberry Shortcake:

Once upon a heartbreak, puberty was a pain in the ass for me. Acne for days and body chemistry that made it so I couldn’t even stand myself. I wasn’t the most desirable high school student, and I was so jealous of the girls with the shiny hair that smelled like apricot soap. It wasn’t until I went to University that the boys started to flock (all older men). Creep it classy, guys. 

Tag, You’re It:

Once upon a heartbreak, was a boy who told me that he loved me, but he was an abuser. He lulled me into a false sense of security and made a bunch of promises to change because he "loved me so much and didn’t want to be who he was anymore." He was older than me and very good at manipulation. We dated for a year-and-a-half before Barb convinced me to run away. I’m very glad she did.

Teacher’s Pet:

The name being a portmanteau of "sacrilege" and "hardcore", Sacricore is partially an off shoot of Queercore with it focusing of reclaiming the notion that LGBTQ+ identities are sinful as well as borrowing visual aesthetics from Catholicism and combining them with queer aesthetics.

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COTL / cult of the lamb stimboard for @sillycritterthing!

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𓏵 ꒰ ✟ PROMPT 7 OF MY 30 FOLLOWERS STIMBOARD EVENT ：　UR FAV AESTHETIC ！！ ⚢ ꒱ ∞

𓏵 ꒰ ✟ I did sacricore for this one ！　if you don ‘ t know what sacricore is 、　it ’ s a punk －　like aesthetic dedicated to showing off things that are shun down upon in christianity while putting a religious spin onto it ！！ ⚢ ꒱ ∞

Accessible version:

Prompt 7 of my 30 followers stimboard event ：　your fav aesthetic!!

I did sacricore for this one! If you don’t know what sacricore is, it’s a punk like aesthetic dedicated to showing off things that are shun down upon in christianity while putting a religious spin on it!!