#s83

CG: YOU MADE AN UNBEATABLE BOSS IS WHAT YOU DID.

This was inevitable - which makes it all the more impressive that it's still so impactful.

Bro - the comically strong Guardian, who once cleaved a meteor in two - was slain, instantly and trivially. As soon as Jack became a First Guardian, this ceased to be a fight.

Davesprite could have time-travelled away - but the haze of feathers and broken amulet don't exactly inspire confidence.

I think, just like his timeline, Future Dave was always doomed.

...that said, the core of the amulet seems intact. I know I'm clutching at straws, but it might be possible for him to respawn, if Dave tries to 'summon' him.

CG: YOUR VERSION OF JACK, WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW DUMB ENOUGH TO ENTRUST WITH THE QUEEN'S RING, BECAME ESSENTIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE. CG: HE THEN WENT ON A RAMPAGE THROUGH YOUR POINTLESS SESSION, WHICH HILARIOUSLY, WAS ALREADY A LOST CAUSE EVEN BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!

Initially, I thought it was the Battlefield's destruction which sealed the session's fate. It's a critical part of Skaia, so I assumed that without it, the session couldn't continue in any meaningful way.

But according to Rose, that's not the case at all. The Battlefield is still repairable - in fact, it's being repaired as we speak.

Something else rendered this session a lost cause. The destruction of Prospit, maybe - or perhaps it's something entirely unrelated to Jack, such as Rose's corruption.

I love that even at this early stage, Karkat keeps forgetting that he's supposed to be 'mad' at John.

CG: I MANAGED TO STAY AWAKE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS STRAIGHT, I DIDN'T WANT TO LET MY GUARD DOWN FOR A SECOND. [...] CG: AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER, AND WE RETREATED IN FAILURE CG: I FOOLISHLY DID. CG: AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW HIM. [...] CG: JACK.

Poor Karkat probably thought he was back from Alternia with a vengeance - which would be doubly painful, since Karkat liked Jack, and was completely against Exiling him.

CG: HE WAS WEARING A RING I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE, CERTAINLY NOT ONE BELONGING TO OUR QUEENS. [...] CG: HE WORE IT ON HIS ONE HAND, WHICH WAS COVERED IN OUR MUTANT BLOOD.

If Jack had got that blood from the troll session, we'd have a pretty good idea who it belonged to.

But Jack arrived with that blood. It came from the human session, and could have belonged to anyone there.

The narrative is giving it a lot of focus, though - even in Jade: Enter, the camera kept lingering on Jack's arm. This is 'important' blood, which will be shed in a pivotal moment later on.

Move over, Bilious Slick - there's a new god in these parts.

CG: I PRETTY QUICKLY DETERMINED THAT HE WAS FROM YOUR SESSION, NOT OURS. [...] CG: AND I WAS SORT OF RELIEVED CG: RELIEVED BUT ALSO ENRAGED CG: I'M SURE YOU KNOW THE FEELING. [...] EB: not really.

This is how you can tell John's not a programmer yet.

Get back to me when you've been debugging for two hours, and you realize you missed a free(). Then you'll know exactly what Karkat is feeling.

CG: I'VE GOT TO REWIND THE TAPE ON THIS CLUSTERFUCK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG. EB: yeah, i should get going too. EB: my friend is pestering me, and i doubt she likes to be kept waiting. EB: (she is sort of the bossy type!) CG: WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR DUMB HUMAN FRIEND AND HER PETULANT, MEANINGLESS DEMANDS.

'What went wrong' is the girl who's messaging John right now.

I cannot wait for Karkat to figure out who actually caused the Mistake, and confront Vriska directly. It'll be cathartic, I think, for his rage to be directed to someone who's deliberately responsible for their problems.

Karkat is no match for Vriska, of course - but he doesn't necessarily have to be. He's a leader, and once he starts yelling about who actually got them trapped in the Veil, the other trolls are sure to take his side, no matter how annoying he is.

Vriska is extremely resourceful, but if Karkat rallies all the surviving trolls against her, her victory is far from guaranteed. She'll be up against Terezi, Kanaya and Sollux - not to mention Feferi, who's recently proven she's not as much of a pushover as you'd expect.

Karkat seems convinced that the Scratch is suicide - but this is an early Karkat, who doesn't really understand the situation. The Rift is the last thing he can see, so he assumes it's the end of the line.

White Carapacian jumpscare!

The last time we saw the Exiles, WV had just revealed the White Queen's Ring - which means that, unless I am very much mistaken, a new god is about to be born.

The critical question, of course, is whether a pseudo-First Guardian can teleport in and out of the Medium. If so, Jack's reign of terror is about to be interrupted, and we're about to learn why he doesn't instantly kill the Players - he'll be distracted by a rival.

EB: so, she prototyped becquerel? EB: why is that so bad? [...] CG: HER LUSUS EXHIBITS THE PROPERTIES OF A LEGENDARY ENTITY CALLED A FIRST GUARDIAN. CG: IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITY.

But he was a good dog. Jack, decidedly, is not.

It's worth speculating about what other effects Becquerel's prototyping will have. Jack is obviously the most immediate consequence, but Bec isn't just in Jack - he's everywhere. He suffuses the session.

Even Underlings will contain some First Guardian energy. They can't have Bec's full range of abilities, the same way Sgrub's Underlings couldn't unleash the Vast Glub - but I'm sure they're still grossly overpowered. Even if Jack wasn't a factor, the game would still be on Nightmare difficulty.

And what of the Battlefield? What effect will the Green Sun's rays have on its appearance, or the world it's supposed to spawn?

This feels like an ingredient that absolutely should not be part of your universe - and if First Guardian energy has made its way into The Tumor, we might have an even bigger problem on our hands than Perfect Jack.

Every station knows what's going to happen to it - so, naturally, this one has an 'undo getting blown up by Becsprite' button.

If only the Earth had one of these...

CG: AS THE DEFENDERS OF THEIR PLANETS, THEY'RE VIRTUALLY OMNIPOTENT. CG: PROTOTYPING ONE IS ABSOLUTELY UNCONSCIONABLE.

There's that misaimed 'omnipotent' again. I guess it doesn't really matter if it's technically not accurate - as far as an average Player is concerned, First Guardians may as well be omnipotent.