#s82

"The Demon is clearly a First Guardian, and appears to be on a rampage - he's a creature of instinct, like Bec!"

...says Sally, not making the obvious connection.

If you connect two sessions, you have to be prepared to face the consequences.

Jack invaded the troll session through the Rift, the Devilbeast becoming the Demon. Everything fits - the Green Sun connection, the rampant destruction of the planets, even the fact that Karkat 'recognized' Jack!

Both sessions' invincible bosses are the same person. I can't even be mad that I didn't figure it out, it's just too good.

I also feel like it's worth noting that Jack took Aradia completely by surprise. She didn't know these were Alpha events, which means her response wasn't planned in advance, to preserve the timeline.

Hell, for all she knew, the timeline had just been doomed.

Why is that important?

Because Aradia's instinctive response was to save everyone.

Even assholes like Eridan. Even her murderer.

Unfeeling robot, my ass!

Poor Karkat. I wonder if he thought that literally was Slick?

I'm making a note of that bloody hand, too. Looks like Jack's about to eschew the knives, and become more of a bestial fighter.

Shit's fucked. It was fucked before, but now it's double - no, triple fucked. This guy can - I assume - teleport around the Medium at his leisure. He's lightning fast, bulletproof, and - oh, god - and he might have Doc Scratch's clairvoyance.

And all he wants to do is kill.

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Becsprite!!!

We can talk about why the fuck he did this a little later. Right now, I'm just reeling from the realization that we're actually going to hear Bec speak.

Jade's trying to smash him like a piñata. I guess he sort of is a foodstuff, then, isn't he?

I guess physical contact is out. This is a nasty entry challenge.

That's a far cry from Nanna's dinky little laser. As you might expect, Bec is a supercharged Sprite - but he didn't need to be a sprite at all to stop this meteor. Curious.

That's a wrap for Earth, I think.

RIP, FedoraFreak. And everyone else, I guess.

I think we're due for two more wraps, too.

Well, Davesprite might be ok. Who knows how Kernelsprite mortality works?

This art style is great. I guess Jade has no choice but to take a potshot.

Thanks, Bec!

...why do I feel like that's the last time I'll ever say that?

Wings? Tentacles? Whiskers?

Obsolete.

You don't need knives when you have a nuke.

Alright, this is the most menacing shot I have ever seen.

We know what that shape means, and now I understand what AR felt when he saw it. Surrender and death are your only options.

After 500 pages of troll bickering, conversations like these are an excellent palate cleanser. There's no performative hostility here - these two are just having fun, even when discussing their bizarre situation.

GG: have you looked in the lab yet? [...] GG: could you do me a favor and not look in there? [...] GG: its nothing that secret or personal or anything…. GG: it is just something kind of sad and weird for you to see EB: what is it? GG: it is my dead dream self GG: it has been there for years, i always knew i would die but i did not realize it would go like this….

You did? But you were surprised when Tavros told you that dream selves could die!

...oh, right. That was Dream Jade, who is confused about everything.

So - Jade knew all along. She certainly held this fact close to her chest, didn't she? And not just because Hussie hadn't written it yet. Jade didn't want to acknowledge her future - although she did hint at it once, in a manner so subtle she probably didn't even notice.

Imagine being Jade, looking in the mirror every morning, watching herself grow older.

Watching herself slowly turn into the corpse in the attic.

EB: i have sort of already seen… that. EB: not in the lab, but on the battlefield. GG: oh no!!!!! GG: im sorry john :( EB: it's ok. EB: i was so confused and sad when i saw you lying there… EB: i'd rather not talk about it i guess.

Wow, John was really affected by this. He can't even talk about it with Jade, who serves as living proof that the death didn't stick.

Hello, Bec.

I'm just going to say it straight out - Becquerel has the edge, here. Only Grandpa seems as likely, but Grandpa can't go in the Kernel pre-Entry.

But why would Bec choose to enter the Kernel?

That thing really is huge. I guess we're handwaving the gravitational anomalies, but I'm still surprised that there's as much of Earth left as there is in WV's time.

Bec's the Entry Item, too. I guess they're not all foodstuffs after all.

I think Jade's right about the escalating difficulty of the kids' respective Entries. John's was trivial, Rose's took a bit of thought, Dave's confused him for hours, and Jade's literally blinds her with only a couple of minutes on the clock.

In the end, John just picked the most harmless doll in the room. He even took her arm off - hoping, I assume, that the Underlings will end up with no arms at all. It was a good call.

8ut it ain't going to happen!

The Kernel is anyone's game now. It really looks like it's going to be Grandpa...

But that idea has been vetoed.

And it looks like Jade's Land is one of snow. It's consistent with what PM saw in her monitor - but not consistent with Jade's assigned element of earth. I really thought LOJADE would be a Land of Mountains, or something.

Anyway, that's Jade: Enter! Everything is fucked, and I genuinely don't know how we're going to get out of this one. Obviously Jack isn't just going to teleport-stab the entire cast on the next page... but the problem is, he could! His threat estimate is so high that no one in the session could touch him...

...except Becsprite, so I expect him to be a huge factor in the overall plan. Jade, at least, might be safe from Jack for now.

Oh my what's that shiny thing in the water.

The Ring has also become priority fucking one. A Ring-empowered Carapacian might be the only thing with both the power and motivation to take Jack on - but the Ring is destined to be lost to post-apocalyptic Earth. Could we use it before then - or, could the Exiles return?

EB: hello????? EB: rose????????????? TT: Sorry. TT: I was preoccupied. EB: by what? TT: Oh, let's say, TT: Troll stuff.

Flirting, got it. Always time for flirting.

TT: Incidentally, looks like you will have your own troll stuff to attend to shortly. EB: i will? TT: Yes. TT: Involving the one who hates you, and the one who likes you.

Yeah, but which is which?

Karkat doesn't really hate John, that much is obvious. Which implies, I guess, that Vriska does hate him, or will come to hate him. She is destined to threaten his life, so that tracks.

She's also likely the reason he fucked up the prototyping, so hopefully she's here to explain why she suddenly has it in for him.

"HATE. HATE. KILLING. DEATH. VIOLENCE."

EB: i need you to be nice for a change and do me a favor… EB: have you talked to jade recently? [...] CG: WHO THE FUCK IS JADE. [...] EB: jade is the girl who i am pretty sure just entered our session. [...] CG: OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE WHO FUCKS EVERYTHING UP.

Full fucking circle. I think it's finally time.

CG: I WILL STAY ON MESSAGE THIS TIME. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED BY YOUR GOOFY MANNERISMS AND YOUR ABSURD PENCHANT FOR REVELING IN SELF ABUSE.

Please do. We've danced around this moment enough, and it's time to finally get into it.

CG: HERE I AM TALKING TO YOU MOMENTS AFTER YOU DID THE TERRIBLE THING, AND YOU STILL DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU DID! [...] EB: whoa… CG: WHAT EB: the ground is shaking… EB: what's going on? CG: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. CG: WHAT YOU FUCKING DID IS WHAT'S GOING ON.

The Mistake happened when Jade entered, and it's had an immediate knock-on effect on LOWAS.

The only thing connecting Jade's Entry to LOWAS is Jack's presence there, so it's got to be him. Jack is, at this moment, achieving his final form.

EB: please, no more stalling or "i already told you's" or any other maddening nonsense! EB: just… EB: TELL ME!

Things are getting a little crazy, on multiple fronts at once. Is the Dark Seer finally going to show her hand?

I guess not. Research takes priority.

Beard Turtle is my new favorite NPC.

EB: jade is minutes away from entering, and i need to decide what to do with this kernel sprite. [...] EB: i thought i'd ask since you seem to know all the mysteries. [...] TT: First of all, I should preface this conversation by saying I know exactly what you and Jade are going to do.

It's getting difficult for these kids to communicate at all. Everyone's time travelling, scrying and prophesizing, and their personal timelines have become so desynchronized that they have to isolate themselves, lest they corrupt the formation of each other's original ideas. It's such a mess!

TT: Sorry, John. TT: I'm just nervous about it. TT: About whether telling you what you definitely will or won't do will alter a predetermined outcome. TT: The result would be a splintered timeline, and we would all be sentenced to eventual oblivion.

Not to be a downer, Rose, but the majority of doomed timelines will result from other people's decisions, not yours. The majority of your future selves are doomed - most of them through no fault of your own.

TT: It isn't much fun, John. EB: what's not? TT: Living for months in an offshoot reality, waiting for the curtain to drop.

I understand your anxiety, though, You faced oblivion once, and you're desperate to avoid repeating that disaster.