#s13e17

Sam finally let himself sit on the chair next to the bed, taking a breath.  There was nothing left to do now but wait and hope- hope that Gabriel would be alright, hope that Dean would return, hope that Jack and Mom would be okay-

Sam had already done all he could, on all fronts. Gabriel sat against the wall, curled up, though he still kept Sam in his sights, lest the hunter make any sudden moves. But the stitches were off his face, and he had been bathed and wrapped in a fluffy robe, and, though Sam had joked about the dead man who had once worn it, Gabriel didn’t seem to care as he rubbed his fingers against the fabric.

But even through all that, he still hadn’t spoken. Whimpered, once or twice, if Sam accidentally moved too quick or pressed a clean cloth against the wounds.  He’d made a near pornographic noise at the heat of the bath, but there had been no words in that as he sank down into the bubbles. Only silence as Sam had washed hair and skin, draining and refilling the water three times before the archangel had been cleansed.  Even now, though he was slightly more relaxed as he tugged the robe tight around himself, he wasn’t speaking.  

It felt unnatural, feeling the archangel’s gaze without hearing that voice.  Even after all these years, that was what Sam remembered- Gabriel’s voice.  Even when the amber eyes faded from his dreams or the bouncing step dissipated from his memory, the voice remained, and now, even that was gone.

The gaze prickled against Sam’s skin, and he hesitated a moment, before breaking the silence himself.  “You want anything?” he asked.  “Food, more water?  Whatever you need.”  

There was no answer, though Gabriel blinked- whether that was simply a reflex against dust or was a response, Sam wasn’t sure.

He hesitated, and continued talking, trying to fill the silence.  “I’m so sorry,” he added.  “About all this… I should have known you weren’t really gone…I just… I saw the wings burned into the ground, and I assumed…”  He trailed off.  This wasn’t working, and Gabriel was still watching him.  It wasn’t so much a stare now- it had dulled into more of a lazy observance.  

Sam hesitated, then stood, and too late he remembered to warn Gabriel about the movement, because the archangel flinched, back on high alert.  “Sorry, sorry,” he said, holding up his hands.  “I just thought I’d grab the HDMI cable and the laptop… for Netflix.  Um, they stream TV shows now… I don’t remember what year they started, but-”

Gabriel made a noise at him that was little more than a huff of air.  Sam froze, blinking, but when Gabriel added nothing else to the expression, he nodded. “Right… I’ll be back in a minute.”

He felt eyes follow him all the way out the door, and he bit his lip.  Gabriel was not in good shape, but he wasn’t terrified anymore… at least, Sam hoped. He was relaxing a bit, Sam thought, but he didn’t want to push Gabriel quicker than he could go.  He had been through a trauma, and there was no easy fix for that.  Hell, Sam knew that better than anybody.

Laptop and cable in hand, Sam headed back towards the bedroom, only to hesitate and loop back to the kitchen.  They didn’t have much by means of victuals, the grocery store falling low on their list of priorities, but when he combed through the kitchen, he was able to come up with half a bag of M&Ms, some discount Easter candy, and a package of strawberries.  He hesitated, then scooped up all the food items along with the laptop and cord, and returned to the bedroom.

Gabriel moved suddenly when Sam reentered, settling back and shifting his gaze to the wall.  Sam pretended he didn’t notice that Gabriel had been staring at the door and dumped the foodstuff on the bed stand before moving to plug in the computer.  

“Okay,” he said, looking back.  “What do you want to watch?”

Gabriel tilted his head, gaze moving from the food to Sam, and half shrugged.

Inwardly, Sam rejoiced, and he had to fight to keep from grinning.  A shrug- that was a response.  There was no mistaking that for an accidental movement.  “C’mon, dude,” he said, slowly sitting on the end of the bed, making sure that Gabriel could see each movement before it happened.  “I know you like TV… you made that one kind of obvious.”

Gabriel was still quiet, though his eyes flicked once between Sam and the M&Ms.

“Those are for you,” Sam added, nodding.  “I mean, originally they were Dean’s, but I think you need them more.  Have as much as you like.  But if you don’t pick a show, we’re watching a documentary, got it?”

And there was another response, this time a wince, and for a split second, Sam thought that he’d pushed too hard, that he’d accidentally triggered Gabriel-

But no, there was no emotion behind the wince except for a disgusted wrinkling of his nose, and this time, Sam did grin.  “You don’t like documentaries, huh?  What do you like then?”  He hesitated.  “Please don’t say you’re into that dumb Doctor McDreamy show that Dean secretly watches. I thought you just put us in that for him.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed slightly, and this time, he went for the M&Ms- only to throw one at Sam.  It bounced off his shoulder and onto the floor, and Sam’s eyes went wide- that tiny act of rebellion was the first real sign of life that he’d seen from Gabriel since he’d shown up.  

“It’s still on?”  It was a whisper, barely more than a breath, and if all of Sam’s attention wasn’t trained on Gabriel, he would have missed it.  

Sam couldn’t stop his own beaming now, though he was careful to not jump up in celebration.  He didn’t want to throw Gabriel backwards, back into that state of terror.  “Unfortunately,” he said, and turned to the laptop to scroll down to Dr. Sexy, MD. “What season did you leave off on?”  He glanced up, perfectly willing to accept vocals or just a number of fingers held up.

But Gabriel shook his head, tugging the robe tighter around himself.  “The beginning,” he whispered, in a tone just as weak as the first time.  “You need-” He broke off in a dry cough, and Sam was there a moment later, with the already half-drunk bottle of water.  Gabriel took it, finishing it, before breathing a moment. “You need to see the whole thing,” he murmured, and this time, instead of a simple whisper, there was a ghost of his voice in the words as well.  

Sam blinked.  “I don’t know if-”

Another M&M bounced off his chest.

Sam sighed, but relented, starting the show from the beginning and setting the laptop on the dresser beside the TV.  He made a move back towards the chair, but hesitated at a noise from the bed.  

Gabriel was eyeing him, and again, he patted the mattress beside him.  Sam hesitated, then gingerly sat beside the archangel, stretching his legs out on the mattress, careful to keep space between them.

Gabriel didn’t particularly care for that space, balancing the bag of M&Ms on Sam’s thigh and leaning his head on Sam’s chest. When Sam didn’t immediately comply, he physically picked up the hunter’s arm to move it around his body.  Sam snorted, but allowed it, inwardly laughing in celebration.  Gabriel was okay- hurt, maybe, but he would be fine.