#rydique

Unique waved her hand dismissively. "Let's just watch the movie. Plays aren't written to be read, they're written to be seen."

Ryder propped himself up on one hand and smirked. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Honey, I'll watch a tragic romance with you any time; it doesn't have to be a date."

"Just a tragic one?"

She got up and walked over to sit by his feet. "That's the most interesting kind." She stroked his leg idly. "Question time?"

"Definitely." He grinned. "Hm, what haven't I asked you yet?"

"I have one. If you had to switch bodies with someone you know, who would you pick?"

"Hm." Ryder rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "Are we switching memories and lives and stuff too?"

"No, just bodies."

"Then probably Sam I guess?"

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"That answer is so boring! You have the same build, the same skin color... You even both have floppy hair."

"I thought you liked my hair."

She snickered. "I love your hair. But wouldn't you rather switch with Jake or someone? Try something new?"

"I don't know, he gets bullied a lot, and - Hey! You just wanna make out with Jake."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, as if you don't."

Ryder stuck out his tongue and sat up enough to thwack her on the knee. "Okay, well who would you switch with?"

"Marley. Your turn."

"Wait, wait. Why are you picking Marley?"

"She's hot, skinny, she has boobs..."

"That describes like, most of the girls we know. Is it because I used to have a crush on her?"

"Well, would you still make out with me if I looked like Kitty?"

"Oh, definitely."

She laughed. "Okay. Kitty then. Your turn."

"Okay..." He sat up all the way and gave her a quick kiss. "You can do anything for one hour with absolutely no negative consequences. What do you do?"

"Wear a bikini to the pool. You?"

"Hmm..." He looked her over lecherously.

She smirked and raised one eyebrow.

"I'd use my one hour during a school assembly. I'd take you up onto the stage and have awesome sex with you right there in front of everyone."

"Oooh, exhibitionist streak, huh?"

He laughed. "Like you're surprised."

-

-

-

Ryder’s dad meets Unique on a Thursday in late May.

It’s not something that Ryder’s been avoiding, exactly. Both of his parents have seen the glee club perform, but never been introduced to anyone but Marley and Jake. Even now, after discovering that Unique was Katie and both of them offering apologies and accepting forgiveness, it’s not like the two of them are best friends. They talk more than they used to, and hang out sometimes, when Ryder can work up the courage to ask, but things are still a little strained between them, like they can only forget the tension between them for a little while before one of them starts thinking too much and a dark cloud settles over them again. It’s frustrating.

It’s easier when there’s a distraction. They’re sitting together on Ryder’s living room couch watching a movie when his dad gets home from work, and Ryder straightens up immediately without giving it any thought. He feels like he’s been caught doing something wrong, which is ridiculous. Unique had bought him ice cream after school to celebrate the grade on his English paper, and then they’d come to his house to practice a song for the week’s glee assignment. They had decided to watch a movie before she left. Ryder had just lost track of time, and it’s not like they were sitting that close together on the couch. He’d probably sit just as close to Jake or Marley or anyone else.

“Hey,” his dad greets them as he enters the room. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Unique,” Ryder says, standing up. Unique follows. “She’s in glee with me.”

“Oh, of course. Nice to meet you.” He offers a hand to Unique, and she shakes it, looking nervous.

“Nice to meet you,” she echoes. “I should probably be going.”

“You can stay for dinner if you’d like,” Ryder’s dad offers. “No rush.”

Unique doesn’t meet his eye, and her voice is soft when she replies. “I have homework, but thank you for the offer.”

Ryder feels like his stomach is twisting into knots. He knows she’s always scared, meeting new people. She always assumes the worst, and Ryder knows that makes sense. His dad is being polite, sure, but it still feels like they’ve been caught doing something wrong, and Ryder’s not sure what to do to make things feel less awkward.

Unique leaves after gathering her things and saying goodbye to both of them, and Ryder knows he’s going to be asked more questions soon after the door closes behind her. His dad doesn’t disappoint.

“So he’s in glee with you, huh?” his dad asks once they’re both in the kitchen preparing dinner.

Ryder immediately corrects him. “She, dad. Unique’s a girl.”

“Oh,” his dad says. “Of course.” There’s an amused twinkle in his eyes, and Ryder has to look away. He focuses all of his attention on the stove, gripping the pasta spoon so tight his knuckles go white. Ryder’s not even sure he has any right to be angry, really. Three months ago, he would have said the same thing.

“But yeah, she’s in glee club,” Ryder replies after a moment. “She’s probably the best singer we have. We’re working on a song together for glee, that’s why she came over.”

“Sounds like fun. Are you guys close? I’ve never heard you mention her before.”

Ryder pauses, unsure of how to answer the question. “I guess? We’re getting closer, lately.”

“That’s good,” his dad tells him, patting him on his back. “Kids like that have a tough time, you know. They really need friends. You’re doing a good thing, Ryder.”

The praise makes Ryder feel sick. His dad doesn’t mean anything bad by it, but it’s hard not to turn around and yell at him, tell him that Unique doesn’t need his pity. If anything, his dad should thank her for hanging out with Ryder. It’s not like Ryder’s had many friends at all until this year, and Unique’s been pretty great, except for the whole catfishing thing. She lets him be open and honest, saying whatever’s on his mind without judgment, and it’s helped a lot.

Ryder’s never been as confused about anything as he is about his feelings toward Unique and it sucks, knowing that his dad probably wouldn’t be helpful if they talked about it. His mom is out of the question, too. The two of them had been growing distant even before Ryder moved back in with his dad last summer, and Ryder doesn’t talk to her about much besides his schoolwork. He’s considered getting advice from Marley, but he’s not entirely sure she’ll keep everything he says from Unique. It’s not bad stuff he wants to say, not really, but he doesn’t want Unique to hear about it, not yet, not when everything’s so confusing. One minute, he thinks he wants to kiss her, because she’s sweet and pretty and funny and brave, but the next, it hits him that she’s not the type of girl he ever thought he’d date. He’s not in a rush to have sex, really, because at the moment envisioning anything beyond kissing with anyone makes him feel queasy, but someday he’s sure he’ll want to, and what if the fact that she’s transgender is an issue?

Jake was the only person Ryder had felt comfortable enough to ask, and though Jake was understanding enough, the conversation hadn’t been very enlightening. Jake had no answers, and got uncomfortable when Ryder asked if he’d still date Marley if he found out she was transgender.

“It doesn’t really matter what I’d do, does it?” Jake had said. “It only matters how you feel.”

Mostly, Ryder just feels confused. He’s not sure how to respond to his dad’s praise.

“She’s just... cool,” he says, keeping his eyes on the pot as he stirs. “We all like her.”

“Well, good. I’m glad. Do you want salad? I think we have a bag in the fridge.”

“Sure.”

His dad reaches into the refrigerator to retrieve the salad and tosses it onto the counter as he reaches for a salad bowl from the cabinet. “So how was school today? Anything exciting happen?”

Ryder’s thankful for the change in subject. “I got my English paper back,” he says, and he can’t stop himself from grinning a little at the memory. “I got a B+.”

That earns him another clap on the back. “That’s great, Ryder,” his dad says, and Ryder knows it’s not empty praise. “I know you worked really hard on that. Make sure you call your mom and let her know. She’ll be so proud.”

“Yeah, I will,” Ryder says. He’s been doing better at school since he was diagnosed with dyslexia, but it’s not the only thing that’s changed for him this year. He’s been growing in a lot of different ways, and sometimes he wishes all of the other things mattered to his parents as much as his steadily improving grades.

“You’ll be applying to Harvard before we know it,” his dad says.

Ryder lets out an uncomfortable chuckle. “Yeah, right.”

“Hey, you never know.”

Ryder’s phone buzzes in his pocket, distracting him from the conversation. It’s a text from Unique, apologizing for her quick exit and asking if he’s free again tomorrow to work more on their song.

“Is that Marley?” his dad asks when he notices Ryder’s lips quirking up into a small smile. It makes sense that his dad would think that. Marley’s texts had been making him smile for months, and even after he’d moved on to Katie, he’d continued to let his dad think he was talking to Marley. It had just been easier than explaining that he’d met someone online. Maybe it would still be easier to pretend it’s Marley, to let his dad rest easy in the knowledge that his son’s crush was on a girl he found so harmless, so normal.

But Ryder’s getting pretty sick of pretending.