Hi and a bit of rambling about descriptions
I am reading “One for My Baby” and enjoying it.
I saw the weird (and rude) comment from the anon about hair color as a description. Tons of published writers use hair color in describing a character. As an editor, I would say to use it sparingly. Like, Character A first sees Character B and mentally or verbally refers to Character B as a brunette. Meanwhile, Character B can think of Character A as a blond. But after the characters learn each other’s names, it’s better to use the names or he/she/ze (depending on gender) than to have Character A still mentally referring to Character B as “the brunette." I hope that made sense.
For a more blatant example of descriptions like that, I was in Glee fandom, and a lot of fic writers referred to Kurt as "the countertenor” in situations in fic where his voice had nothing to do with what he was doing, which were mostly smutty scenes with Blaine. Blaine is not going to think of Kurt as “the countertenor” when they’re getting it on.
I haven’t even noticed you using “the blond” and "the brunette" like that in “One for My Baby." You used "alpha” and “omega” a lot, of course, but in situations where it made sense that they’d think of each other like that.
Please do keep writing in the Captain America fandom, and don’t let rude anons discourage you. I think I’ve read enough fiction (pro and fan) and edited enough published fiction to judge writing, and you are quite a decent writer.
Take care,
Em/neyronrose
