#rueday

[     re    :    tam tam 💋    ]       [ sms ]      hey.        what    are    you    wearing    right    now    ?

    a  long  day  of  exploring  the  grounds  saw  her  barely  able  to  keep  her  eyes  open  through  dinner  let  alone  manage  to  stay  up  past  sunset  .      shirley slipped off to slumber the moment her head hit the pillow,      lodged within the land of dreams.      well,      at least she were until a series of rumbling howls tore her awake---the dogs.      the dogs she nor anyone else had yet to actually set eyes upon but night after night continued to be the most constant sound in the darkness.      they created an eerie back track as she stumbled more sleep than she was girl down the hallway.      see,    shirley initially thought she were stirred due to the yowled cries but upon fully coming to had registered the bead of sweat on her brow,      the way the palms of her hands felt a little too clammy for her own liking,      and the way her mind roved something wild.      the telltale signs of a nightmare shirley knew,    but a nightmare that she could not remember.      she found it difficult to drift back to sleep with the knowledge that whatever stupid dream she’d let get her this way could be just as worse as the one she would be sure to conjure up in the process as awaiting her.      she might not be as small as nell and luke but sometimes it was still nice to know that somebody wasn’t just in the next room but also right beside you too.      “ mom? ”      her tuft of dark curls peak through the ajar bedroom door.      “ the dogs were barking again. ”      it was easier to start with that as opposed to drawing attention to the fact that she just didn’t want to be alone.      that,    that was very un-shirley like of her.      “ can i lay in here with you? please. ”

𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 ,  tammy knew for sure  –   there was no middle term ,  not in that case .  it had to be serious enough ,  for all the suspense and the antecipation ,  and her unstoppable concern pushed her towards the scary option .  ever since louisa’s visit to the doctor ,  and her very particular refusal to share whatever that was about ,  tamasin had bet heavy on the possibility of scary news about her injury .  all that pain was still fresh ,  old but unhealed ,  and just to think about it gave her goosebumps .  she had only a few weeks ago became aware of lulu’s careful ,  tip - toed steps back into the practice ,  and the idea of her having to stop again hit right where it hurt .

𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 ,  𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 .  swep them away to a forgotten place in her conscience ,  or so she tried ,  and struggled to keep that envelope right where she placed it .  sealed .  it all came to the surface in that moment ,  concern and anxiety and fear .  when tammy hears those words ,  eyes sparkle towards the cellphone screen ,  as she stops biting her thumb and takes a sip of the untouched wine at last .  a sigh ,  tamasin leaves the glass on her cabinet ,  holding the paper envelope carefully ,  waiting for olivia to do the same .

          ❝    god ,  i can’t believe you made us wait like this ,  lulu .  i’m pretty sure you’re aware of what it did to my head !    ❞     and she knew that for a fact ,  it wasn’t a lie .  exchanging a quick reassuring look with her older sister ,  tammy starts to open the envelope ,  actually trying her best not to rip it apart .    ❝    you better not be moving to london ,  y’know  —  i’ll drag you all the way back home ,  you dumbhead .   ❞   and there’s an empty hint of humour on her words ,  even though it’s pretty clear how it’s only nervous cheap talk .

between all options ,  all possible news ,  that one never made it to the list .  tammy takes a few moments to understand it ,  almost too long ,  to decipher what that was all about .  of course ,  she was more than familiar to those kind of files .  realization hits her like lightning ,  and words storm right out of her mouth .   ❝       oh my god ,  lulu ,  are you serious ?   are you really pregnant ?!    ❞    she doesn’t bother to let her sister reply ,  not really .   ❝    these are just the best news ever !   i mean –   i can’t believe you’re really going to–   ❞   no sentence finds its ending ,  a reflection to all thoughts crossing her mind .   ❝   how long have you even known this ?   –    can you believe this ?  liv ,  lulu is going to be a mommy !   lulu !   ❞   she turns to face her sister in a sudden ,  holding her arms in all excitement .  it’s when it all makes proper sense to her wits ,  and euphoria and emotions pour from her as tears .  tammy tries to contain them with the tips of her fingers ,  and chuckles at every failed attempt .

                  ❝    you knew this was going to happen ,  didn’t you ?  it’s why you fled to london !   ❞   biting her lower lip ,  tammy leans closer to olivia ,  eyes travelling from one sister to the other .    ❝   i’m sorry ,  i just –  i’m so happy ,  lulu .  god ,  you’re our little sister !   and you’re going to be such a good mom .    ❞  

             who’s that ?  skjdfdjkfb i’m kidding !  i’m just being a dumbass .  i have to say that lara really is one of my favorite people around here .  and she gives me just so many reasons for that !  lara is an incredibly talented writer .  all of her characters (  very well picked ,  might i say  )  are just so beautifully written and the effort she puts into them is visible .  her replies always make me so happy ,  sometimes giving me all the dramatic feelings ,  sometimes making me literally laugh out loud .  and then she goes and … writes lulu ?  i mean ,  please .  i’m still not over the fact that she and eden exist and actually decided to be a part of this …  mess that is my take on tammy’s family .  i’m just so honored that they do !  lara also …  really hears me freaking out because of tam ,  or sarah ,  or emily ,  and that’s just iconic .  kuddos to whoever hears me freaking out .  and please ,  talking to her is just so fun ?  i really wish we can talk more and more often ,  ‘cause i definitely enjoy talking and plotting with her a whole lot .  she’s amazing and deserves all the love and recognition for the wonderful job she does on all her blogs. i mean it!

              ah !   thank you so much for sending this ask ,  baby !  i don’t even know how to begin ,  really .  i mean ,  i could mention how bex is actually one of the coolest people around and how talking to her is so great ...  but then again ,  it would be kind of unfair with the fact that she is unbelievebly talented .  i mean ...  i’m still to find out how she manages to write all of her muses so well .  it’s scary .  their voices seem to flow so easily and i could very well just be ...  reading a script from her muses’ source .  plotting with her is so fun !   i love all of the things we have thought for our muses ,  from veeery dramatic and soft things to absolutely hilarious ones .  being able to write and talk to her is amazing ,  and so is bex herself !

POSITIVITY MEME 🌻  |  @rueday ! 

“ tell me,      theo, ”      she spoke as if she weren’t even speaking to her---just at her,      or,    better yet,      a wall---it came so coolly distracted from between shirl’s lips.      some would call that      a calm before the storm.      “ when has you saying ‘ fuck that where’s the booze ’ ... ”      she presented what she would conclude to be a rather on point imitation of theodora...      “ ...ever really been helpful to anyone but yourself? & even then... or is that the point? ”

𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ,  𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 .  it steals from her a delicate smirk ,  eyes peering at the younger’s through the mirror ,  giving her a content expression from behind her .  fingers trace her sister’s hair ,  carefully building a pair of braids among light hair locks .    ❝    oh  –  well ,  of course you can ,  lulu .    ❞   she doesn’t really know how to respond  –  if it were ever up to her ,  louisa would never shed a single doubt about it .  whatever she wanted ,  she’d go for it ,  in a way neither olivia or tammy herself had been able to do .    ❝    you can wanna be anything .  we’ll have your back ,  me and liv .    ❞   a wink ,  still through their reflection ,  quickly placing a bow at the end of one braid .    ❝    besides ,  i think you’d be a really good dancer .  and that’s not just because you always win our dance competitions ,  y’know .  i have that feeling with me .    ❞