#rtn sakura

Disclaimer: This story utilizes characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz Media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelizations, comics or short stories is intended by the author in any way, shape or form. This fan oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All fiction, plot and Original Characters with the exception of those introduced in the books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn and using them without permission is considered rude, in bad-taste and will reflect seriously on your credibility as a writer. You will be thrown into a pond if you are found plagiarizing.

Warning(s): Road To Ninja OCness for the characters. So flirty, dreamboat Sasuke and emotionally stunted Sakura :P

Fanon Compliance: Takes place several years after The Flip Side

AN: Again, sorry for the lateness, unpacking is kicking my ass. But I now can see my kitchen table, so yay for small victories! Editing will be done at a later date.

This fic was inspired by Anne of the Island by LM Montgomery (my favourite author growing up!). For some reason, the scene where Anne finally figures out how she feels about Gilbert struck me as being a believable way for RTN Sakura to figure out she’s in love with Charasuke.

The clouds are rolling in, threatening a late summer storm, when Sakura finally sets foot through Konoha’s giant gates. Weary and covered in road dust, she waves at Izumo and Kotetsu, before beginning the long trudge into the centre of the village.

She’s been away for almost a month, teaching a series of seminars on antidotes throughout the five shinobi countries. As the foremost medic in Konoha (after Lady Tsunade, of course, though the Hokage is too busy running the village to make many trips these days), Sakura is in high demand for her poison expertise and field training. Although she’s proud of her skills, and the networking will be a step up when it comes time to put forth her candidacy for Hokage, she can’t help feel exhausted.

This trip felt longer and more stressful – possibly because it’s the first one she’s undertaken alone. Her former teammates are so busy these days with their own pursuits. Menma is often away on missions with ANBU – although he’s sworn to secrecy on the matter, she’s pretty sure that he’s the new ANBU commander – and Kakashi is inspiring the next generation of shinobi at the Academy. As for Sasuke, he’s been taking on more responsibility within Konoha’s military police and among his clan, and so rarely has time to spare.

He doesn’t even have the time to flirt anymore, she thinks with grim humour as she passes by the Uchiha district.

It’s quieter than usual, she notices a beat later; most days it’s bustling with activity even late into the night.

The Uchiha are one of the oldest and most respected clans in Konoha, after all, and are usually at the centre of every village tradition and activity. The atmosphere here was always such a stark contrast to her own quiet upbringing – even more so after her parent’s deaths.

Whenever she and Menma used to come here as genin to pick up Sasuke or visit him on their days off, they always ended up running into someone who needed help around the house or with their chores. His older cousins would tease him good-naturedly, and his little cousins would take along with them, in awe of their status as ninja (even if they were only genin at the time).

Sasuke would complain about it, but both Sakura and Menma could always tell that he secretly loved it. He liked people relying on him, would go out of his way to help his older aunts and uncles, and even got his teammates to help him tend to his mother’s garden.

He was even more dedicated in the years after his brother left.

He’s a good guy, that wheedling voice at the back of Sakura’s head reminds her. He’ll make someone a good partner one day.

But she shrugs away that thought, because she’s made her feelings on that particular subject very clear – both to Sasuke and herself.

Being Hokage is an important job, and demands a lot – she’s seen as much with Tsunade; there’s no way she can dedicate herself to that and a family. Besides, as Hokage she might one day end up in the same position as her parents and have to sacrifice herself for the village. The idea of leaving her child or children to grow up orphaned haunts her; she knows from experience there’s no fate worse.

Besides, there will be no shortage of children to look after in the village, especially with all of her agemates pairing off and starting families.

Ino is engaged to a civilian art expert named Kyoya, and somehow Shikamaru managed to charm the Kazekage’s painfully shy sister over the course of the past few chuunin exams. There’s to be a state wedding in Suna next month before Temari officially relocates to Konoha. Choji just recently returned from a trip to Kumo, a soft-spoken bride in tow – apparently, he didn’t want to deal with the fuss of a big wedding.

And then, of course, there’s Menma.

Sakura recalls how a few months ago, Hinata stalked across the town square and flat-out told him they were getting married. And then he sighed, like it was a huge imposition, but accepted.

It should have been the most painful moment of her life, but all Sakura could feel was happy for her friend. She has long-since grown out of her one-sided crush with the Uzumaki boy (and doesn’t it gnaw at her that Sasuke accurately predicted that!), and despite Hinata’s overbearing nature, they’ve developed a mutual respect.

I guess it’s true that they say – that people change, she muses as she leaves the Uchiha district in her wake.

She considers whether she ought to stop at the Hokage Tower first, or home, and decides on the latter. Her mission wasn’t an urgent one, so there’s no need tor report in immediately. Besides, Suna’s desert is still clinging to her skin and her hair feels stiff with sweat. She needs to bathe before she can in good conscience enter the Hokage’s presence.

ロードトウニンジャ

Sakura takes her time once she’s home, enjoying a long shower and the feel of clean clothes on her skin. She even takes a short nap before heading out into the village; there’s no food in the house, and she doesn’t feel like getting groceries this evening.

As usual she heads for the Yakiniku Q, expecting to have a nice meal and perhaps some conversation. There’s always someone around to chat with – one of the double-edged perks of being the child of heroes, she supposes.

When she arrives, she sees a table at the back where a few of her friends are sitting quietly. It’s another oddity – usually her friends are the loudest in the room – but she chalks it up to the lateness of the day.

“Sakura!” Ino gasps when she sees her. “When did you get back?”

“About an hour ago,” she replies, sliding into an empty space. “Have you all ordered yet?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hinata sneers. “Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?”

“I’m not due to start any shifts for another day or two,” Sakura replies, frowning at the animosity. Hinata is never pleasant per se, but she’s stopped being so confrontational since her engagement.

“You…have you spoken to anyone else since you’ve been back?” Neji asks, eyes shifting to Tenten, who shakes her head incrementally.

“No, I haven’t,” Sakura says slowly. “Guys, what’s going on? Why are you all acting so…suspicious?”

“If anyone’s acting suspicious, it’d be you,” Hinata returns. “Then again, maybe it’s just who you are. I knew you were cold, but I’d think you’d be a little more upset that your fall-back guy is dying.”

“Hinata!” Tenten objects, eyes flitting anxiously to Sakura.

It takes about ten seconds for her to understand who exactly the Hyūga heiress is talking about, and five more before the meaning behind her words sink in. Once they do, she can only stare at the pale-eyed girl in disbelief.

“What?” she echoes faintly, feeling the blood drain from her cheeks so fast that she feels dizzy.

“Shut up, Hinata,” Ino says with uncharacteristic sharpness. She regards Sakura with the air of someone preparing to diffuse an explosive tag. “Sakura, don’t look like that, it’s – Sakura, do you hear me?!”

“You shouldn’t have told her so suddenly, Neji chides his cousin, who crosses her arms unrepentantly.

“She’s strong enough to take it. You beating around the bush wasn’t doing her any favours.”

“Is it…is it true?” Sakura asks her best friend in a voice that doesn’t sound like hers. “Is Sasuke…?”

“He’s very ill,” Ino confirms gravely. “He got sick about a day or so after you left on your mission.”

Almost a month ago!

“I’m surprised Lady Tsunade didn’t mention it to you when you got back,” Neji remarks.

“I…I just went straight home,” Sakura explains faintly. Her decision to luxuriate in the shower and nap suddenly seem ridiculous and selfish in the face of this new reality. “What’s wrong with him?”

“We don’t know,” Ino says. “Whatever it is, it’s bad enough that his parents brought him to the hospital. The healers don’t – Sakura, please don’t make that face!” Because if the Uchiha, who tend to have their own private family healers see to their needs, brought Sasuke to the hospital, it has to be serious. “He’s strong – you know how strong Sasuke is. He’ll pull through.”

“Shizune was here earlier and she figures there’s no hope,” Hinata remarks, taking a sip of sake.

Ino’s jaw sets, and in a move that is utterly uncharacteristic of her, she promptly marches the Hyūga girl away before Sakura throws a punch at her.

Not that she is at all in the mind frame to do so, because she is still struggling to make sense of what all this means.

“Don’t worry, Sakura,” Neji tells her, resting comforting hand on her shoulder. “Sasuke is Uchiha. They have strong constitutions. I have no doubt that he will pull through.”

But she doesn’t miss the slight waver in his voice, as if he isn’t sure what he’s saying is completely true.

Numb, Sakura shrugs off his hand and stands to leave. She barely hears her friends worriedly call her name as she steps out into the street, staring unseeingly ahead of herself.

The rain has started in earnest since she went inside and now beats down in sheets. Passersby sprint through the road, trying to find shelter, but she barely feels the water on her skin. The air throbs with energy, vibrating with the thunder, and three blocks away, Sasuke Uchiha lies dying. 

“Don’t be such an idiot.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“If you spent as much time on your jutsus as you do on flirting, you’d be better than Menma.”

“Why would I go on a date with you, you playboy?”

She remembers every single time she told him to leave her alone, or wished he would move on and get out of her life. Now that he might just do that, Sakura realises that it would be like cutting out a vital organ.

She begins to run.

ロードトウニンジャ

“What’s wrong with him?” Sakura demands as she bursts into the Critical Care ward, not bothering with a greeting.

“S-Sakura-sensei, you’re not supposed to –!”

 “Symptoms, Ando, or don’t bother speaking,” she barks.

“P-patient presented with…with shortness of breath and coughing,” her intern stammers. “Within a day it transitioned into full-fledged hemoptysis, resulting in the family admitting him to Critical Care. He’s required constant monitoring and daily healing sessions to keep his lungs clear.”

“Anything else?”

“I’m really not supposed to –”

“Then don’t – pass me his chart! He’s dying and you’re wasting my time with red tape!” she snarls, grabbing the clipboard from the flustered teenager and storming down the hallway to the wing where the patients dying of terminal diseases are housed.

The fact that Sasuke has been placed there makes her want to vomit.

Upon turning the corner, she finds her way blocked by two familiar figures. Kakashi and Menma are like two pillars against the doors, both of them looking a little pale as she marches toward them.

“You can’t go in there, Sakura,” Kakashi tells her as she gets within arms reach; his usual exuberance has disappeared, replaced with a sombreness that matches Gai’s.

“The hell I can’t,” she growls. “Move before I make you move.”

“It’s Lady Tsunade’s orders,” Menma tells her. “You’re not permitted to treat a loved one, Sakura, you know that. It’s hospital policy and standard in the four laws of medical ninjutsu.”

“I am the student of the Sannin Tsunade,” Sakura bites out, thumbing at the seal on her forehead, “and I am exempt from those laws.”

“Not today, you aren’t,” Menma maintains. “If you step foot in that ward, Tsunade will stop treating him and restrain you herself. Are you willing to gamble with your friend’s life just to feel useful?”

His words cut a chink into the desperate fury that has been driving her since she left the restaurant.

Under the empathetic eyes of her friends, Sakura is forced to make a difficult decision: either stay here, useless, and let Tsunade do her best to heal Sasuke, or kick up a fuss and delay him getting the treatment he deserves.

She swallows a painful lump in her throat.

It’s really no choice at all.

Her shoulders slump and she lets Kakashi guide her out of the Critical Care ward and into the general waiting room. 

She spends the rest of the night pacing every other hallways and demanding news from the nurses, until Lady Tsunade sends Shizune out and tells her she will be drugged and sent home if she doesn’t stop. After that she adopts a lone window that looks out onto the Critical Care ward across the courtyard and waits, trying not to imagine the horrors that could be happening over there right then.

That Sasuke’s died, or that the damage to his body is irreversible.

Her vigil lasts the night, through hours of the storm raging outside and the darkness that threatens to consume her. Kakashi and Menma come and go in the background, trying to tempt her to go home and sleep or eat something, but she ignores them, refusing to acknowledge anyone unless it’s someone with news of Sasuke.

Because Sakura has come to a bitter, belated revelation: that she is in love with Sasuke Uchiha. That she has always been in love with him, and she knows that now.

Her knowledge comes too late, because now she might not even get the chance to tell him. She has been so blind and foolish, so focussed on becoming something worth her deceased parents’ pride and trying to impress the one man who would never see her as more than a sister that she wasted their time.

Tsunade is right: Sakura shouldn’t be anywhere near him right now. She doesn’t deserve to be near him.

But…but if he dies…he’ll go without ever knowing how I feel. He’ll die thinking I don’t return his feelings and then…

And then she’ll be left without him.

Instantly, Sakura can see it – years and years of emptiness stretching out in front of her, all of her other dreams and ambitions fulfilled, but pale and colourless shadows of what she hoped for. Hollow, because there will be no one to share it with.

She presses her head against the cool window, feeling the vibrations of the raindrops on the other side of the pane, and for the first time since she lost her parents, she wishes she could die too. If Sasuke leaves her, if he dies without a word or sign or message between them, she won’t make it. Nothing has any value without him.

She belongs to him and he to her, and he’s always known that and she always insisted it wasn’t true.

The storm rages all the rest of the night and into the morning, the winds and thunder seeming to keep time with her pacing. Only as the heavy raindrops fade away and Sakura can’t take one more moment of sitting uselessly in the waiting room does she hail one of the nurses.

“Have you heard anything about Sasuke Uchiha this morning?” she asks, forcing her voice to remain steady and professional.

Under normal circumstances the staff aren’t allowed to share information with anyone that isn’t family, but everyone here knows Sakura and her desperation is clear on her face.

“The last I heard, he’s better,” the nurse says. “Lady Tsunade pulled him through the worst of it about half an hour ago. I heard her tell Lady Shizune that he’s going to make a full recovery.”

“And they’ve…they’ve figured out what was wrong with him?”

“Yes. Some underlying genetic condition, I believe. Once Lady Tsunade figured it out, she was able to heal the cause – oh! Lady Sakura, what’s wrong?”

Stunned and thankful, Sakura has burst into relieved tears and flees the hospital.

ロードトウニンジャ

In the wake of Sasuke’s recovery, Sakura avoids going to see him.

Menma and Kakashi press her on it, but she can’t properly explain to them what the problem is; eventually they give up trying, but she sees their judgemental looks and knows she deserves them.

How is she supposed to explain that she’s afraid to face Sasuke? His family were by his side through his sickness, while she was off pursuing her own interests for a month. No one thought to inform her of his condition, because she made it utterly clear how she felt – or didn’t feel – about him, and it was only when he was dying that she let go of her stubbornness and accepted her feelings for him.

That after everything, she hardly deserves to be his friend, let alone to love him. Even if she still has his friendship, she has no idea what to say.

The self-flagellation continues unendingly for a while, even days after Sasuke is up and about. Hinata holds a party one night to celebrate his recovery (and also to apologise for her lack of tact when she told Sakura about it), and they run into each other there. They make easy conversation, exchange pleasantries and then Sakura makes an excuse that she has to work.

For the first time in their lives, Sasuke doesn’t bother to flirt with her, and she tosses and turns in bed that night thinking what that means.

A week later he comes to see her at the hospital.

“There’s a familiar sight,” he remarks, taking note of her hunched over several charts.

Sakura jumps and stares up at him, her cheeks warming both at the sight of him and being caught unawares. “S-Sasuke! What are you doing here?”

“My final check-up was today,” he says, speaking to her in the same easy tone as he always did. “As soon as I get the okay, I’m headed to the training grounds.” He pauses, and then with the same comradely grin as always, suggests, “You want to come along? It’s been a while since we sparred, and I think Menma’s picking out china patterns or something.”

Sakura looks at him rather blankly.

“I wish I could,” she says slowly, “but I can’t. There’s a viral epidemic two towns over, and Lady Tsunade has me watching vaccine samples all night. There’s no way I can get away.” She bites her lips and offers him an apologetic glance beneath her lashes. “I’m really sorry. I’d actually love to go with you.”

“What about tomorrow afternoon then, after you’ve gotten some sleep?” Sasuke asks, apparently not put-off by her refusal.

There’s a beat of hesitation, but Sakura musters a smile. “That works for me.”

Their eyes meet for a beat longer, and then she looks away.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, then,” Sasuke states. He pauses, and then adds, “Don’t work too hard tonight, or you’ll be too tired.”

He leaves before she can think of a response.

Sakura looks after him as he goes away and sighs, throwing down her pen.

Sasuke is friendly with her – a friendliness that is simultaneously a relief and torture. Their friendship is as it always was, but she finds she is no longer satisfied by that.

She wants more than his friendship, but also more than the cheap rose of a momentary fling. Without his usual one-liners or appraising looks, she can’t tell if he’s finally moved on or is just better at hiding it. She  worries that maybe he no longer feels anything for but friendship, and wonders if all her years of rejecting him have finally taken.

Sakura groans and presses her palms to her eyes.

“This is ridiculous,” she says out loud to now one. Within barely a fortnight, true love has reduced to one of those insecure girls that obsesses over a man. “I’m not doing this. I just need to…to get over it.”

If Sasuke can apparently get over her so easily, she’ll figure out how to do the same. By throwing herself into her work, if she has to. Success and ambition will have to take the place of love, and she tries to comfort herself by the fact that she’ll do great, noble work as Hokage one day, especially without having to worry about her own heart.

Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t believe herself.

ロードトウニンジャ

When Sasuke comes to pick her up from her house the next afternoon, she takes more care than she ever has with her appearance. She knows they’re only going to train, but something in her wants him to notice her as a woman – perhaps flirt with her the way he used to.

They take the long way to the training grounds, passing through the forested paths where the trees are just beginning to change their colours.

“It’s been a while since I came this way,” Sakura says, only to fill the silence between them that falls just short of companionable.

“Me too,” Sasuke says. “I think I only ever used this way because it took longer to get to the training grounds.”

“And we still always got there before Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura agrees. “Because he always had some kind of life-or-death competition with Gai-sensei that he had to finish before training.”

“Remember our first battle as a team?”

“Yes! You passed out, I got thrown into the pond and Menma ended up buried up to his head in the ground.”

“That was still less embarrassing than having to introduce ourselves,” he says.

“That’s right! You talked for ten minutes straight about your tomato garden and how much you liked salad!”

“And Menma had that huge speech about how it was his duty to repopulate the Uzumaki clan throughout the five shinobi nations,” Sasuke remembers, shuddering. “And then Kakashi figured that was a prime teaching opportunity and gave us the sex-talk.”

“That was mortifying!”

“Speak for yourself, you didn’t have him follow you home to assure your parents that he had “dutifully ensured their son would be responsible in all matters of a sexual nature”,” Sasuke says, rolling his eyes. Then he winces and says, “Sorry.”

“No, it’s…it’s alright.”

They are quiet again.

“You were always so strong in the face of that,” Sasuke says after a while. “I don’t even know what I would do without my family, but you…it just made you stronger. Even back then, you dreamed of becoming Hokage to make them proud or die trying.”

“Well…that last part of the dream has changed,” she says lightly. “Most dreams do, over time.”

“And some don’t,” he says seriously, something resolute entering his voice. He stops walking, and Sakura is forced to do the same, staring up at him in surprise. “Things haven’t changed for me – not really. There’s something – someone – I’ve always wanted, even from back then. Maybe it was always a dream, but I’m going to keep wanting it, even if it can’t come true.”

Sakura opens her mouth to speak, but the words get stuck somewhere in her throat. It’s as if she’s been struck dumb with disbelief and a mounting terror that if she speaks she’ll break the spell of what’s happening.

“I want my family to be whole,” Sasuke continues. “I want my brother back. I want my parents to grow old surrounded by grandchildren. I want my wife to be the woman I love until I die.” He peers at her intently. “In that dream, my wife is you.” Sakura barely has a chance to acknowledge the burgeoning feeling of happiness, when he takes her hands in his. “I know I said I’d wait for you, but I’ve been thinking it over. And perhaps it’s not waiting that’s the problem. Perhaps I’ve been asking you the wrong thing all these years. I’ve been asking you out on dates, when I should have been asking you to marry me.”

Marry?!

“And so…” he takes a deep breath, vulnerability crossing his features for the first time since he started speaking, “if I ask you differently today – if I ask you if you want to spend the rest of our lives together – will you give me a different answer?”

She still can’t speak – her brain is stubbornly stalled somewhere around the word ‘love’. Instead, she lifts her eyes and gazes into his for a long moment, trying to convey her answer - nstead, she lifts her eyes and gazes into his for a long moment, trying to convey her answer – yes, yes! A million times yes, you annoying man! – and he seems to understand, because he breaks into a breathtaking smile.

And then she can’t to much else but grab him by the lapels of his shirt and drag his lips down to her own.

He makes a noise of surprise, but a beat later realises what’s happening, and then his arms are around her, pulling her in closer to him. His mouth is unexpectedly soft against her own, but it becomes harder and more demanding as the kiss deepens.

Eventually they pull away from each other, and Sasuke stares down at her, breathless.

“Is that a ‘yes’?’ he pants.

“It’s an ‘I love you’, you annoying man.”

His eyes soften. “I love you.”

She blushes and hides her face in his chest.

“I don’t understand how you could keep loving me after all this time when I’ve been such an idiot,” she says, hoping that her words are lost in the fabric of his shirt.

“I tried to stop,” he says, causing her to pull away and stare up at him in anguish. “Not because you’re an idiot – you’re not – but because it’s hard to compete with someone like Menma.”

“You’ve competed with him your whole life.”

“Yeah, on arenas where we were evenly matched. When it came to your affections, he already had them without even trying.”

“I got over Menma.”

“I know that. But I still figured I needed to give you time after he and Hinata became engaged. He was your first love, after all. If I approached you right after, it would have felt like I was rubbing it in your face,” he explains reasonably. “And I…didn’t want to be your rebound.”

“You are not my rebound,” she tells him fiercely. “And Menma was no my first love.”

He cocks his head to one-side, inquisitive.

“You were,” she says, looking away and feeling her cheeks redden. “But then one day you showed up and started handing out roses to every pretty girl within a ten foot radius and I decided I didn’t want to be just another one of your admirers.”

He stares.

“Sakura, that was before we were genin even. You already…?”

She crosses her arms, defensive, cheeks red.

To her surprise, Sasuke groans and slaps himself in the forehead. “I’m a moron.”

“A bit, yeah.”

“And here I though I needed to do something dramatic like almost die to get you to accept your feelings for me, when you already had them!”

Sakura shudders.

“Don’t joke about that,” she begs, “It’s too soon.”

Sasuke sobers. “When I was sick, Tsunade told me about how you reacted. She said you almost took out Kakashi and Menma to get to me. You’d be amazed how determined I was to get better after that.”

She smiles wanly at that and shivers.

“I’ll never forget thinking you were going to die,” she whispers. “I knew right then. It was like the world shifted. I knew and…and I thought it was too late. I thought I would lose you and have to pay for my mistake by being alone forever.”

Sasuke’s eyes soften and he pulls her close, cradling her protectively in his arms. They stand like that for longer than Sakura knows, though she doesn’t care. If he wanted to stay like this forever, she would agree without hesitation.

Except he doesn’t, because he pulls away.

“Let’s make an agreement,” he suggests. “No more waiting.”

“huh?”

“We’ll tell my parents tonight and get married as soon as we can find someone to perform the ceremony,” he goes on. “And you’ll move in with me and my family, and then you’ll never have to be alone again.”

“Move in with your…Sasuke…that’s a bit…soon,” she protests weakly. “Besides, what if they’re no…alright with…with me?”

“You know my mother loves you. And my father respects you, which he’d say is more important than liking you, but he’ll learn to. If by some fluke they disapprove, we’ll just elope.”

“They’ll disown you!”

“So what? That just means they’ll have two disowned sons. It might give them the motivation they need to accept Itachi back home,” he snorts.

“Sasuke!”

“Besides, it’s occurred to me that there’s never been an Uchiha Hokage,” he continues with the air of someone musing one of life’s greatest mysteries. “No one in my family will have a problem with my wife once you succeeds Tsunade.”

Sakura blushes darkly. “I haven’t even officially said ‘yes’ yet.”

Something dark enters Sasuke’s eyes.

“I guess I’ll have to keep convincing you then,” he tells her, and then his lips are on hers again.

She decides she likes his form of persuasion.

終わり

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