#rr072315

Often when I see people talking about the Lodge eps all of the blame for what happened is put on Rob but the fact is Aaron is also somewhat to blame for what went down there. In some ways it's like what happened with Katie which is also always put on Rob when Aaron was also involved.

It was Aaron's idea to go to the lodge. Aaron was even the one who picked the location in some remote area away from everyone. It was Aaron's idea to secretly record Rob. And I can't help but wonder what Aaron's grand plan for it all even was. Record Rob and then leave first chance he got then take the recording to the police and or Chrissie? I didn't even see a car there for Aaron how was he planning on getting out of there quickly with the recording? I just don't think Aaron thought any of this plan through. Also was he planning on getting Rob to talk about Katie and going to the police with that info? He had to realize if he did he'd go down for his part in it too right?

---

I think one of the things that hurt Rob the most at the lodge was that Aaron turned on him in a way he never did before. Sure they'd fought and Aaron had been angry and even threatened him before but never like this. And no matter what happened between them before this Rob always felt no matter how angry Aaron got he still loved him. But the things he said and did at the lodge made Rob believe Aaron truly hated him. Which in a way was sadly ironic because I think the lodge was where Rob realized just how much he loved Aaron.

I don't know why Aaron acted like the stuff with Katie that Rob told him at the lodge was brand new information when Rob literally told him what happened back in March.

Rob (march 2015): "we got into this big row and she fell" he didn't out right say he pushed her but like he specifically said they fought which could have meant physically.

I really wish the show (and some fans) would stop acting like Rob intentionally killed Katie or that Aaron is blameless in what happened then. Aaron chose to have an affair with a married man. Aaron chose to go to Wylie's on Rob's wedding day and when Rob wouldn't chose him he messaged Katie to come there. The only reason she was even there was because of Aaron. And Aaron chose to help Rob cover things up.

I think Aaron initially brought up Katie at the lodge with the intention of getting Rob to say something incriminating on that recording but later (after he knew the phone was dead) kept talking about her because he knew how much it hurt Rob and Aaron was angry and hurting and wanted to hurt Rob too.

---

For as much violence as people seem to remember the lodge for things didn't turn physical until Aaron threw the first punch at Rob and then jumped on him and Rob mostly just tried to keep Aaron off of him. It was only when Aaron kept coming at him that Rob broke the bottle on his head and afterwards when Aaron was knocked out he checked on him and looked really worried.

You can tell how betrayed Rob felt as soon as he found Aaron's phone and I think it really caused him to snap. I don't think he knew what to think or do at that point. The one person he trusted before anyone else and the one person he really loved had stabbed him in the back.

---

The convo that Robron have while Aaron is tied up is so painful it's hard to watch at points.

Rob: "stop looking at me like that" when he took Aaron's gag off. He can't bear the thought that Aaron hates him and can see it on his face.

Rob trying to get Aaron to believe him that he wasn't going to kill Paddy and he didn't mean for Katie to die. Why would Aaron's opinion of him matter so much if Rob didn't love him?

I still have a hard time seeing how Aaron just completely turned on Rob and doesn't trust a thing he says anymore and just blindly believes everything Paddy said. But I think part of it is that Aaron felt betrayed too. He felt like he loved Rob and was starting to trust him again and then this all happened and so it all hurts even worse than it would have in the earlier days of the affair.

---

Rob: "If this comes out I lose everything. All I've worked for." Rob was never afraid of losing Chrissie only what she represented.

Aaron: "So this is about money" - Aaron doesn't seem to understand it's about so much more than that but also part of the reason Rob cares about money the way he does is because he's had to make it on his own for so long. Money isn't just about nice expensive things to Rob it's about stability and proving something. Rob is often motivated by this need to prove himself. To Jack. To Andy. To everyone who has ever thought less of him. Being the rich important (straight) man in the big house was like sticking it to everyone who thought he wasn't good enough.

Rob: "I wish that was all I cared about. Don't you see it's you. Falling in love with you ruined everything " - what Rob really means is: "I met you and you changed everything." He just wasn't ready or prepared to deal with any of that change yet and so he went kicking and screaming into it.

----

Rob: "Do you really think that i'm that selfish, that I'm that psychotic that I would actually kill someone?" Rob only asking because Aaron's opinion of him matters more than anyone else's

Aaron: "Yeah."

Rob: (crying) "Let's find out shall we." goes to get the gun

----

Aaron is so angry about what happened to Paddy he's tuned out a lot of what Rob is saying and it so it doesn't matter if it's true or not Aaron isn't hearing him.

Rob is forever tortured by what happened to Katie it's evident in how he talks about her whenever she's brought up and he's always maintained he never meant for her to die.

I like to think that Robron had a better convo about Katie later some time in 2016 when they were both in a better place mentally and could really hear one another because a lot of what was said in the lodge was stuff they needed to talk about.

-----

I don't think Rob ever planned on doing anything with the gun the only time he ever even points it at Aaron is when Aaron (lies) and says he doesn't love him. I think Rob only even brought it with him back to the lodge was because he was trying to do like he did with Paddy and scare Aaron. Rob at this point was hanging on by a thread scared that everything he thought that mattered in his world was about to blow up in his face. He felt like he'd lost Aaron for good just when he was getting him back again. He was scared of losing Chrissie and the security and heteronormativity being with her represented. Scared of losing his home when he'd already been through that before when he was younger. Of losing his job after he'd just been promoted no less and having to scramble to make it like he probably did in his early days away from Emmerdale. Most of all he was afraid of having to face his sexuality and of everyone finding out about all his secrets. He wasn't thinking clearly at all.

----

Rob: "I don't know what to do." - I don't think he meant about killing Aaron I think he just felt so lost and confused with all of it.

Rob: "And you say that I'm the liar."

Aaron "What?"

Rob: "You said you loved me too remember. You remember? "

Aaron: (crying)

Rob: "So you were lying then? if you loved me you wouldn't put me in this position"

Aaron: (crying) "Of course I don't love ya. How could I? Just look at ya. You disgust me."

Rob: (crying) grabs the gun

Rob finally realizing how much he loves Aaron and feeling as though he's lost him forever while he's standing in front of him with the gun crying and after hearing that Aaron hates him.

Paddy literally showed up and entered the lodge without even telling anyone he was there and I definitely don't think Rob meant to shoot him and certainly not kill him. The aftermath of that was Rob panicking like crazy because he had just shot someone when he had already been losing his shit over Aaron and couldn't deal with yet another problem.

If Rob really wanted to kill Aaron he could have done it any number of times before Paddy showed up particularly when Aaron was unconscious. He definitely could have killed both Paddy and Aaron after Paddy showed up and he'd already fired the gun. Yet he took the time to help Paddy.

Rob crying in the kitchen in a blue shirt is so reminiscent of the scene in the 2017 ep when he's crying in the kitchen after Aaron finds out about Rebecca. 😭

Rob: "I'm not a bad person." - it's like Rob is always trying to prove that to people while still trying to survive in the only ways he knows how.

---

Interesting that one of the side stories in the lodge eps involved Lawrence trying to fake being straight (by dating Bernice). Considering that everything with Robron was happening in large part because Rob was also trying to fake being straight and afraid of losing Chrissie for that reason.

Rob comes home and and hugs Chrissie like a lost little boy because again Chrissie and Home Farm represent stability for him not love.

---

I have mixed feelings over Aaron outing Rob. I'm not saying it's okay to out anyone but at the same time I'm not sure if Rob would have ever come out if not for Aaron. I think at the least it would have taken Rob much much longer to come terms with who he is. After what Rob dealt with from Jack I think he felt so much safer hiding that part of himself to the point he couldn't even really admit to himself who he was. He wasn't ready to think of himself as anything but straight for a long long time. I honestly think the lodge, Aaron telling Chrissie, and Rob getting shot all needed to happen for Rob to finally wake up.

---

I feel like a lot of people remember the lodge for the violence and how it's like one of the worst times ever for Robron but when I watch I see just how much they still love each other even at their darkest point. It's obvious how much Rob loves Aaron here and how much Aaron still loves Rob. They spent most of their scenes during this crying and in pain that any of it was even happening. It was killing them both. And no matter what they both were saying especially Aaron the reason it all hurt him so much is because of just how much he still loved Rob.

I know for some Robron was over after these eps they just could never get over how Rob acted here but I really wish people would remember that Emmerdale is a soap and soap characters aren't always confined by the same set of morals and standards we are in the real world. Soaps are about drama and a character may do something horrible one week but be forgiven the next this is especially true when we're talking about more important characters who've been around longer and get more screen time. Most characters on soaps aren't meant to be just one way. It's why you have characters like Rob, Charity, and Cain who have done villainous things but aren't written as solely villains.

Rob did a lot of messed up stuff during his time on the show (especially during 2014/15) and there's a lot of his actions I don't agree with and I get that some people can't forgive him but at the same time he's one of my favorite characters of all time who I relate to a lot. I feel like a lot of people particularly those who hate him only see Rob for what's on the surface or only his mistakes they don't see the complex man he truly is. It's part of why I love him. Rob is such a multifaceted character where pain and trauma and fear play a big part of why he does the things he does. He's definitely hurt a lot of people but he also loves more fiercely than most of the other characters on Emmerdale. He'd literally die for the people he loves.