#rowe camp

so my friend at camp got poisoned by tampons.

my penis-possessing, biological definition of male friend. (he also identifies as male if ur the kind of person who is bothered by not knowing that sort of thing like me)

aright lemmie tell you how this came about

so at camp weve got this thing called cit run where all the counselors-in-training go out into town to do our laundry and buy us shit like ramen and nutella and hair dye and 2 liter bottles of soda even tho we aren't supposed to get them cuz thats the only kind the store has

and we get to dress them up in weird costumes

so first cit run we dressed up our cit (ima call him nate) in a full length snow leopard skirt, a purple-leopard-and-palm-fronds-and-maybe-coconuts? sun dress, a white hawaiian shirt with small sailboats, a baseball cap, a bra to keep the baseball hat on, and sunglasses. and at the last minute my friend (lets call her penny) ties a tampon to each arm of his sunglasses.

so at the end of the day when all the cits come back hes not with them?

and so during check in (just before bed, we tell each other about our days) hes sitting on the bed and he says "I got poisoned by a tampon and that's why I wasn't here when the rest came back because I was at the nurse" or something along those lines.

so apparently he was drinking coffee and one of the tampons fell into the coffee and because he was tired and thought it would be funny and really wanted his coffee, he made the brilliant decision to suck the coffee out of the tampon and then drink the coffee.

so apparently tampons have all these weird chemicals and toxic shit in them (which actually increases the chance of getting toxic shock, whoda thunk?)

he felt very sick for the rest of the day.

this inspired a whole slew of jokes

"how high are you? tampon" (or was it how sick are you)

"on a scale of one to tampon, how sick are you? yes"

"dont to tampons, kids"

randomly yelling "dont eat tampons!" and "dont drink coffee out of tampons!" at him (and occasionally other people)

etc.

backstory: my friend was going around saying he was gonna fuck a bear and like it and occasionally saying he already had and at one point my other friend told him that "bear" was gay slang for a big, hairy gay guy and he said "oh so that's what they meant when they told me to fuck a bear."