hi i hope never noone ever sees this please??? but i am going to try typew things and hurl it into the void but hello i am gay and vv drunk and also gay!!! hello!!!!!!! but also i got borken up with today ://///// haha we be borkin lads!!!! but i love that person so much.... but i make them sad!!!!!!!! and thats not ok.... but you wanna know what is ok??? that show i am not ok iwth this!!!!!!!! it is very good and gay and makes me happpppyyyyyyyyyy also i am drunk, i dont even know how many drinks i had!! hmmmm let me see......i think.. more than 6...... sfjieoksjferjfsikmgje person would be worried... but!!! i am happy drunk rn!!!!!!! and makes me happy and also lil sad but.. not as sad asbefore, because sad... and misss person and all i want is person rn but.. person happier withouit me and i love person so just.. want them to be happy and they not happy with me, they deserve happy. I maybe be happy someday. maybe i... get cool apartment with lots of cats annnnnndddd i learn how to be better friend. not good friend now. bad at... people.... but maybe someday again. maybe ill be a good person again. but rn i watch good show!!! and.. snuggle jumper that smells like person.. so it feels like.. we watch it together.... theyd rea..y like it..... the gay make happy... and they love 80s aesthetics... and cool superpowers exciting....ohhhhhh brother very very cute.... but.. maybe i can.. learn to be better...... maybe i can.. not hurt people.... someday. someday...... for now??? i enjoy my night.. and enjoy my future..... yknow i wanna try weed sometime... it looks very cool in movies... and haha in i am not ok with this. my siblings have tried it... it just seems chilll..... seems fun... i dont think itd be good for me to do drugs regularly but i dont drink regularly either but.. im curious haha. yknow whats fucked up? is all of these tv shows are just.. about finding that person, that person that.. makes you shine and amkes you happy.............. and i found that? i found the person i want to spend my entire life with and i... i fucked it up repeatedly. hmmmm stinkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyy. ill owrk on myself. i.. dont know if ill talk to them again but... i deserve to be a better person. and so do the people around me. i shouldnt be.. cruel in place of stating my boundaries... i shouldnt be non commital in place of... acknowledging my fears. i need to believe i can be better. but tonight? i get another drink and hope i dont trhow up

I....went away and didn't blog anything for 10 days. And it was a nice break to join real life but now I am back and keep scrolling and realize I'll never reach "myself" (that point where you scrolled to where you last reblogged something) like oh my goodness that's 10 days of scrolling. What is my life.