#rosetintedthoughts

Universal lesson: leave no mental and heart space for people who can't be arsed to know and keep you. Turn the lights out and walk on ahead. . #theuniversehasyourback #meditation #loveandlight #rosetintedthoughts

3 years ago, New York City: in a hotel on Lower East Side, I was swimming in the dark cesspool of regrets and heartache. I had probably slept for over ten hours, and had no intentions of ever waking up. Curtains drawn, eyes shut with memories playing out like a motion picture against the back of my eyelids, I received a text message. It was from two fab girls who knew I was in NYC, and they were downstairs in the lobby, waiting for me ti meet them. I was terrified. I had not exercised, or started my day. Back then I couldn't even imagine not starting my day with at least an hour of cardio. But they were downstairs, waiting cheerily, June and Tara, and they had no idea what sort of shitfest was going through me. They came upstairs as I stalled and foundered, and if they did see the anguish in my eyes, they did not falter. They threw open the curtains and imbued my space with light. They got me out of bed into the shower and out the door. We chatted for hours, walked the streets. Sat in Chobani and had conversations that soothed my then aching heart. This I remember from June: Now I will still love, but I know I won’t fear the day a man walks out of my life again. I won’t be afraid of leaving a man when he is not treating me well. I am no longer scared. The noise in Chobani seemed to recede. Her courage dropped through my innards like a torch, and I walked away with her strength to bear me out of the well I had sat in. 2018, I still feel incredibly inspired by this amazing woman. JUNE, LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Until next time 💓💓💓 . #rosetintedthoughts #greatpeople #brooklyn #brooklynbridge #newyorkcity #nyc (at Brooklyn Bridge)

Squint. Long shadows in the hallway. ☆ Looking down. The aperture of your reality. ☆ #writerslife #rosetintedthoughts #loveandlight #hongkong #hk #hkig #horst #dior #diptyque #chanel (at Sai Ying Pun, Hong Kong)

No blame game, no judgement. ☆ We are all golden. . #hongkong #hk #hkig #rosetintedthoughts #sunset #moonrise #solar #lawofattraction #theuniversehasyourback #meditation #judgementdetox (at Hong Kong)

We think we get over love and the pain of loss in time. But what we really do is just forget that it exists. And does time really erase the intensity of those feelings? One being replaces another, that is how we forget and move on and on and on. This in itself is so sad too. I cry for the forgotten memories, the buried sorrows and happiness, the broken lines of love that never saw light. . #hongkong #hk #hkig #loveandlight #rosetintedthoughts (at Sun Yat Sen Memorial Park)

April, rain your gorgeous blessings on me like powdered sugar and fetch me to your highest vibration level. I'm ready to play on your rainbow band, and shoot for the stars. . #dreamersandcreators #loveyourself #loveandlight #rosetintedthoughts #hongkong #hk #hkig #theuniversehasyourback #april #springhassprung #grateful (at Big Wave Bay Beach,hong kong)

Watching the smokey wreaths of clouds clear to unveil the full blue moon ✅ Sharing a surreal moment as the Orion belt manifested itself with each touch of a fingertip against the sapphire sky ✅ Climbing down a rocky surface and sitting on a precipice, listening to the waves crash on the rocks beneath ✅ Seeing the Chinese carving and standing in its monumental energy ✅ Sitting, mesmerised by the lambent calls from the lighthouse ✅ Sinking my feet into cool, creamy white sand in the night ✅ So grateful for today. Thank you, my dearest universe. No matter the good or bad, the highs or lows. You always deliver me to my highest good. 💜 . #hongkong #hk #hkig #rosetintedthoughts #bigwavebay #fullbluemoon #bluemoon #full moon #theuniversehasyourback #loveandlight #hopeandgrace (at Big Wave Bay Beach,hong kong)

Parsing through old pictures, so much feelings overcome me. In the first picture, I think I truly felt loved without realising its power. I never felt the need to adjust myself, to be attractive in the eyes of others. I was doing a damn good job at being a dreamer - scrapbooks of newspapers and magazines I created with make-believe stories, playing out scenes I dramatised in my head with Barbie dolls, and creating my own novels from cover to cover. And then I don't know how it all started, I became conscious in adolescence of the chatter of others. I allowed the chatter poison my blood. I let their judgement run my life. I left school, graduated from uni with a degree in marketing. I knew strongly within me I wanted to write, despite my degree, despite a first job in marketing. I quit my job with that strong desire, but had no idea how to start. In the second picture, I was at my lowest weight and feeling highly unattractive. I didn't have a libido, I lost friends and lover, and all I had was the hectoring voice in my head telling me I am not enough. I was jobless when I was given a chance to be part of a residency in Paris for 3 months. It was also around this time that I was given a chance to work at Harper's BAZAAR. It was my dream, and it was a dream that came true, with eternal thanks to @natashakraal. I started to put on weight, get well. I didn't know it until last year, but I thought I had recovered. Recovery, I came to realise, is more than just putting back on weight. Recovery came to me last year when I moved to Hong Kong. Meditation is something I cannot go without now, for it gives me clarity, pulls me back from the dark vortex. I can bounce back from a fall so much more quickly, knowing that life just is this: how we perceive every situation is all it is. There is no time like now. I am not seeking to be perfect anymore. There are nights when I see those lost faces, most recently during the super blue blood moon. I still mourn the loss of those who have passed, allow my heart to crack open and the light from the universe will find its way through my veins again. #rosetintedthoughts #theuniversehasyourback #loveandlight #hopeandgrace (at Hong Kong)