#ron statler

Let me break it down, because it all happens so quickly, and I want to illustrate how awkward it was.

First, it starts off okay, but while Ron was going in for a handshake (because he doesnt know Brett all that well), Brett is going in for a HUG (probably because he’s so excited to meet Ron). Common mistake, we’ve all been there.

Brett “He liked how firm my handshake was” Hand tries to accommodate by changing to a handshake, but Ron’s socially awkward ass switches his hand for no reason so they’re both using the wrong hand for it.

They both decide to forget the handshake for a hug, if only to end this shit quicker, but…

Brett accidentally rips off Ron’s name tag and the sticky side gets caught on his face.

Brett seems apologetic and Ron laughs it off, and it seems like it’s not that bad…

Until Brett accidentally smacks Ron in the face…

And then Ron goes all “survival mode” and automatically smacks Brett back. Was he offended? Did Brett smack him so hard that he instinctively thought they were gonna brawl? Is Ron’s first response to potential violence, accidental or not, to automatically throw hands? Who knows.

Why don't everyone talk that Brett Hand, literally golden retriever boy, guy who likes literally everyone despite their rudeness, tastes and morals, who loves every human being in general and everyone in particular DISLIKES RON FROM THE VERY FIRST SIGHT? With absolutely no reason to dislike him? Don't tell me that he has been in a team with Gigi, Myc and Andre who usually are first in line to mock everyone him included (if combined - for literally anything) for a very long time and he felt uncomfortable when he and Ron had different opinions about some stuff? I repeat, golden retriever boy? Dislikes a man? For his opinions? After being so exited about meeting Reagan's boyfriend? To the extent he had to ask Andre to make him like Ron?

I don't buy it.

If that's not because of his supressed feelings for Reagan and subconscious jealousy, then I don't know the reason for that.

Like come on, man. The first person you hate for no freaking reason and it's somehow Reagan's boyfriend. Yeah, of course, if you say so.

The whole episode I was like, somebody please tell Brett why he really dislikes Ron. Please.

Yeah, I know that he ends up liking him, but come on. It's Brett. He is able to like Hitler. The thing is, he started to like Ron after he gave Brett a reason to like him, but before Ron Brett didn't need any reasons to like everybody else.

Rand almost destroyed reality to be happy with the ones he loved.

Reagan almost destroyed herself so the one she loved would be happy.

Yes! and you have a Great day too!

Flustered And Awkward Confession Hc’s! (G!N Reader)

Reader is g!n

Reader is a co worker

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drug use (It’s Andre)

-Brett Hand

-The most awkward and flustered guy there is when he is in love

-He had a crush on you a month after you started working at Cognito

Brett laughed and patted your back “Good one Reader!”

You smiled “You did great too, Brett!”

Brett stopped for a moment “wait, really?”

-Now look at what you’ve done. You gave him butterflies, and he’s not quite sure how to deal with it

-He masked it very well, even confused his feelings to be platonic- Until he told Reagan

“Uhm, Brett” Reagan said as she turned in her chair “That’s a crush- I mean, yeah still friends, but what you’re talking about right now is like.. really romantic”

“It is?”

-the rest of the gang found out and tried to coach him into confessing his attraction towards you

“No! Not like that, Like this- Hey baby, you’re looking good today~” Myc expressed as he showed Brett how to lean on a counter

“Myc, what the fuck” Reagan said as she rubbed her temple

-Even after all that coaching and rehearsing, Brett still managed to act awkward and flustered at the moment

-He tripped thrice on the way to the room where he asked to meet you. His eyes were darting from left to right, in hopes that no one would notice that he was like that

-He finally made it to the room, tried to flirt with you, but he was too awkward that you passed it off as just something being wrong with him that day

“Reader.. it’s just that, I..” Brett struggled to form a single sentence “It’s just that, I listen to accidentally in love from the Shrek two sound track everyday!” He blurted out

-I could imagine Reagan, Myc, and the rest of the gang watching from somewhere and face palming when he said that he listened to that song.

“What does listening to accidentally in love from the Shrek two sound track have to with me?” You asked, confused to how it was related to Brett having to ask you to go somewhere private “Is it a song stuck in your head?”

“Yes- and the reason why is that..” his face flushed pink “I like you!”

-His face was adorable and unforgettable, he was happy to have finally get it off his chest

“Reader, I want to take you out on dates, and I dunno- call you babe!” He confessed “Reader, it’s just that I really, really like you!”

-Ron Staetdler

-Worked with you at the Illuminati, for whatever reason the thought of you helped him keep his sanity everyday working as a mind eraser

-This one time he fantasized and or dreamt about running away with you to start a new life.

“Mornin’ Ron” you greeted as you moved to get a mug of coffee in the break room

-The way you said his name made him smile

“You have a good one!” He said as you walked out of the door

“I will!”

-When he realized he had a crush on you he became a little more clumsy and awkward around you, shooting his mind erasing gun when it wasn’t loaded at all

“Ahah- I must’ve ran out” he commented before reloading it “My minds been a little busy lately” he chuckled dryly

-He wasn’t as sharp as he used to be, or as sneaky and able to finish a mission quickly because he was so distracted by you

-Being on the last mission with him when he confessed to you (It was a contract that you would work by his side for a few months before going solo again)

-Just walking down a street, on the way to an important meeting

“Okay, okay- so out of every celebrity who works for the Illuminati, which one is the hottest?”

“Can it be someone who isn’t a celebrity?” Ron asked, visibly swallowing and smiling in an awkward manner

“Okay, fine, who is it? Is it Jennifer? The one who works in administration- not the one who does autopsies on aliens!” You laughed

“What if-“ Rob got cut off when he almost tripped and stumbled over a raised brick on the ground, luckily you caught him by the arm.

“WOAH-“

-After that he was so embarrassed

-He blew it off, he was going to play it cool and say “What if it was you?” In the way he rehearsed in front of his mirror

-He probably recorded himself saying it but deleted it since he sounded so dumb in the phones recording

“Reader, before this mission ends..” Ron said, his hand on the door to the meeting room “I just want to say” he swallowed “That.. I like you”

“I, well Ron, I never knew- well I kind suspected because of how you started to act-“

Suddenly the door opened and one of the people on the same mission as you guys just stared awkwardly at you and Ron “..We’re sorry if we interrupted something important, but you might want to go in now- you two are, like, ten minutes late”

“I knew there was something going on between those two” one of them whispered to the other as they walked away “Bet that they fucked the night before-“

“Hey, We can hear you!”

-Andre Lee

-Even when he was high he got really awkward and shy around you

-A lil’ brave enough to flirt, but you passed it off as Andre just being Andre

-Ever worser when he wasn’t high, and instead was sober. he’s sweating profusely, his eyes are darting from the ceiling to the floor so then He wouldn’t meet yours

-The meeting room empty, just you and him left alone to take care of a few more files

Andre looks under the table, his sweaty hands holding a paper that had creases from when it was folded

How’s your mom?

Was the first thing written in the upper left corner

“I can’t say that..” Andre whispered

“Did you say something?” You lifted your head

“NO” Andre swallowed “I didn’t say anything..” He looked back down to the paper

I was thinking, are you single?

“Reader, so I was single-“ Andre messed up and hoped you hadn’t heard

“So you were single and?”

“Shit- I’m single and.. well, I was thinking that”

“Andre, you okay?”

“I was thinking if you’d like to go out with me”

-He looked so worried that you would reject him 👁️👁️

-And his face was flushed red

-JR Scheimpough

-Your boss?? Liking you?? No way- you would never believe that

-But the way he acted just screamed out that there was something going on in that mind of his

-The oh so powerful and in control Jr, could not believe that he was acting in such a way because of you

-Spilling a drink on his new suit when you’d pass by just because his eyes were glued onto you and he didn’t notice his grip loosening

“Fuck-“ he hissed in pain from the hot coffee

-He even was at loss of words when at an important meeting with some important people, he needed to get them to renew a contract but you were distracting him

“You can sign righttt..” Jr trailed of as he noticed you making eye contact with him “Here..”

-This man is way too formal sometimes, because he honestly has such a big ego and simply refuses to admit that he’s given it up to you

You sat down across from Jr “I heard there was something you wanted to tell me?”

“Ah, yes.. right.. about what I wanted to tell you”

You raised an eyebrow “Are you going to fire me?”

“What? Noo, no- I wouldn’t fire my best employee ever” He gestured with his hand but as he did so his pen holder fell over, he smiled and ignored it

“So why am I here?”

“It’s just there’s been something I’ve taken an interest to” He paused “Listen, I’ve never doubted you before- and I don’t see doing it any time soon..”

“I’m interested in you..” he confessed

-At first you thought he was going to give you a promotion

“No, not in that way— as in I want to take you on dates”