#rogermon

*Throws all my LOTF stuff in my sketchbook and runs* (in order from oldest to newest)

Side note: The “WE’RE BRITISH” context is a joke abt how it’s implied Simon and Roger aren’t white (pretty sure) + the fact that Britain did all that colonising js to use basically none of the seasoning in their own food (like fish and chips)

roger is 100% an only child, who has a VERY normal family who love him. his mum and dad probably just think roger is too clever and mature to be into all the rough and tumble games boys his age get up to. his parents don’t suspect that he’s a little shit outside of home at all + both happen to be under the impression that he’s a little angel

occasionally has weird frog blink twitches where he blinks one eye at a time + his voice happens to be very deep for someone who is so small, whenever people hear him speak for the first time they’re always confused

his nails are genuinely DISGUSTINGGGGGG, he bites them down so far to the point where they’re constantly raw and bleeding it’s really nastyyyy + he’s a compulsive skin picker and has all these small little scars all over his body because he genuinely cannot leave a blemish alone.

^^ when roger was really little he used to flick his scabs at people when they weren’t looking because he found it humorous. nobody else finds this funny tho it’s actually just really odd and nasty….

when he was little, he was one of those kids who had an terrifying amount of grip strength like Ok. Sure :| YES he’s literally SIX YEARS OLD and scrawny as fuck but he can open a jam jar by himself !!!!!!!!!

has a sweet tooth but only for the really hard boiled sweets that only old people eat that cut the roof of your mouth

reads a lot of very dry factual books. things like anatomy diagrams + maps. maybe about animals ??????? tbh i don’t really think he’d like fiction or poetry because it relies too much on emotion which he finds emotions sometimes to be very messy….and confusing for him so he wouldn’t really dabble into fiction… (idk why i put hc hes literally a sociopath Girl WHATEVER)

maurice once walked into the dorms and found roger laying like a corpse, which is how he normally sleeps. flat on his back ^^^ it would have been normal and nothing 2 worry about but his eyes were wide open. poor maurice thought he was roger was having a vision and almost called for a master. roger was actually just asleep with his eyes open like like a LITTLE FREAK.

rogers fav saint is st. sebastian, he likes how still and peaceful he looks in the paintings even though he’s full of arrows. he told his mum once in passing that he liked the “patience” of the saint (he actually just likes the iconography of things being pinned down and unable to move but shhhhhhhh shhhhhh…….)

more stuff undercut 🙏

10. fanart from the 2000s

9. the two movies AND the new series not having book accurate looking characters

8. INSANE rarepairs that highkey freak me out

7. skinny piggy fanart

6. THOSE aus.

5. roger and simon being snowbunnied

4. jack glazers (sexualisers)

🥉 people that call jalph ‘homoerotic’

🥈 whoever made those goddamn weird ass ao3 fics. ‘jacks harem in castle rock’ how about NO