#robins rambles

also if im somehow not back until tuesday, happy birthday to me as well! the big 18 :,)

the thing that resonates with me most personally is that he thought he was trying

he was unfortunately too selective and very lackadaisical about what exactly he truly listened to, and also he had a different frame of reference than the others in the first place. But within the framework he *did* know (his world, his adventures) he tried to do better by them, only in his point of view to keep facing further ridicule even as he believed he was “improving” himself and his work, and his existing inner instability compounded with that and bottomed out his self-esteem, pushing him into his ultimate breakdown as he tried to defend his psyche by dialing up the delusion that he *was* better to 11

I identified with that, as someone who also felt I was being ridiculed when I felt I was trying to do better, even though the reality was that I hadn’t fully understood what the problems were and my efforts were half-assed. While I don’t have super violent crashouts, being the more covert type that sinks into my low of self-hatred instead of feed the high of delusion as a defense mechanism, I DO get angry when I’m at a low. I’d get passive-aggressive, I’d shout, I’d even charged at people I care about, all because I felt personally attacked when I let myself believe I was doing better.

I got the opportunity to improve. I easily could have just been kicked out, but I wasn’t. I had a family willing to help despite all the suffering I caused.

Oh I totally agree! in fact I think there's a fair bit that the shows have over the games (like the fact that the women are characters in the shows instead of mcguffins lmao)

I also like that they let Alucard out to go frolic a little. Let him have a little whimsy. Let him travel and bring cool gifts back for the Belmont kids thereby making him the "Cool Uncle".

On the other hand, I do think it's really funny to have Alucard go "alright, sypha and trevor are dead, I'm going to go seal myself away because I'm a terrible monstrosity, and I shall be awoken when the world next has need of me." and then three hundred years pass and he's jostled awake by whatever contraption he has set up and he pops out of his coffin like "oh for fucks sake dad's back again isn't he"

and turns out yes! Dracula is back! and this time there's no Belmont to kill him because Richter's the one who brought Drac back! and cue symphony of the night.

I'm still labeling my blog as 18+ so if you're a minor, gtfo !

Here is a reintroduction :)

also to clarify i dont wanna use the whole rock thing in the main show cause it lowk didnt make sense / i dont want to portray victim as some victim like they tried to do when he explains it all to will. if theres any noteable pieces of henry memories in the play please let me know!! if u want u can comment or put something in my ask box if u wanna do it anonymously. thanks for helping a bro out!