#robertweek2020

“You think the minute some girl offers it up on a plate, I’m just going to go there?”

“How should I know?!”

“I’m bisexual ok? I like both. It doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat!”

“Well I can’t be both.”

“Obviously!”

“It’s just really confusing.”

“No it’s really not.”

“Then why did you always say you were straight?”

Robert stared at Aaron and gave him an exasperated look. He couldn’t believe Aaron was bringing that up again. He knew how much Robert had struggled with his sexuality.

“Forget it.” He muttered and undid his seatbelt and threw open the door. He stalked towards the woods on the other side of the road, without really knowing where he was going. He just wanted to get away from that car and hell even from Aaron.

“Robert, wait, I’m sorry!” He heard Aaron call out behind him but kept walking.  He wasn’t even particularly paying attention to where he was going, just put one foot in front of the other to try drown out the feeling of hurt and betrayal.

He ducked under a low branch and felt the ring box in his pocket. They should have been celebrating their engagement right now, not driving around with a teenager in the boot and fighting over the White family.

He was vaguely aware of Aaron chasing after him and apologising but he couldn’t bring himself to reply. He’d planned the perfect romantic proposal and now everything was ruined. Aaron would realise he was more trouble than he was worth and dump him. He might as well chuck the ring in the quarry right away. His dad was right, no-one was going to love a screw up like him.

He reached a clearing in the woods and dropped down on the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest and staring at the bushes in front of him.

Aaron caught up and sat down next to him. Robert could practically feel his eyes on him but he kept staring ahead.

“I’m sorry…” Aaron started. “I didn’t mean to push you… I know it’s not been easy for you… coming out and stuff.”

Robert nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

“I know you being bi doesn’t mean you’ll cheat… and I’m sorry for making you think that… I… I guess I have a lot to learn about bisexuality huh.” He moved a little closer to Robert and reached out to put his hand on his knee but changed his mind at the last second. Everything about Robert screamed don’t touch me so he put his hand on the ground between them instead.

Robert quickly glanced sideways and Aaron saw the tears in his eyes.

“I’m really sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.” Aaron told him. “You… we never talk about this sort of thing… I guess we should from now on… I hate that I hurt you.”

Robert took a deep breath.

“It’s not just you…” He started but then seemed to change his mind. “It hurts that you don’t trust me…” he swallowed thickly. “I.. I’m not very good at talking about it… but know who I am now. I’m bi, I like both… but I love you. I want to be with you.”

Aaron smiled.

“I want to be with you too.”

“But you don’t trust me not to just… jump into bed with any random girl that’s offering.”

“No, that’s not… that’s not it. I do trust you. I just… I guess I don’t understand. Jackson was gay, Ed is gay… I’ve never been with a bi guy.”

Robert looked at him and frowned. Clearly that was the wrong thing to say.

“So? Why does that matter? I’m still me.”

“I know. I guess I just… I don’t know what it’s like… and I feel like I’m competing with every pretty girl that looks at you.” Aaron admitted. “And I’m afraid you’ll realise that being with a girl is easier than being with me…” He bit his lip and started picking apart a leaf that was near his shoe.

“What?! Are you crazy?”

Aaron shrugged.

“You’re this amazing guy. You’ve gotten me through some of the worst times of my life and you waited until I was ready to do anything… and you deal with my crazy family on a daily basis.”

“So? You’ve dealt with mine. Andy, Vic, Diane… “

“The three of them together aren’t nearly as bad as my lot and you know it.” Aaron said with a chuckle, happy when he got a smile from Robert in return.

“I suppose you’re right about that.” He said and relaxed a little. “It’s just… growing up with my dad… I was always a disappointment. Andy was the good son. He wanted to take over the farm… he was straight… I was… the trouble maker.” Robert settled on. He wanted to tell Aaron about growing up as Jack Sugden’s son, make him understand why the things he said in the car hurt him so much, but he wasn’t sure he could get the words out.

“Did he know? About you… liking boys as well as girls?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded.

“Sort of…”

“Yeah? Did you come out to him?”

Robert shook his head.

“Did… did he… see you with a boy?” Aaron asked, filling in the blanks and feeling a sense of dread wash over him when Robert slowly nodded.

“Did you have a boyfriend back then?”

“There was this lad who worked on the farm when I was about fifteen…”

“Was he your boyfriend?”

“I… I liked him. He liked me.” Robert said softly. “My dad… caught us in my room. Together.”

“I’m guessing he didn’t take that very well?”

Robert shook his head and wiped at his eyes. Mentally he was back in his childhood bedroom and hearing Jack yell at him.

“He lost it.”

“Lost it? How? What did he do?” Aaron asked but got no reply. “Robert… did he hurt you?”

After what seemed an eternity Robert nodded. It was barely there but Aaron saw it. He let out a breath he’d been holding.

“I… I don’t know what to say… I didn’t think he was that kind of bloke.”

“He wasn’t. He just didn’t want a son like me.” Robert said, voice thick with emotion, fighting back the tears.

“Hey… listen to me.” Aaron said, moving even closer to Robert and taking his boyfriend’s hands in his. “He was wrong, ok? You’re not a disappointment. You’re amazing and he was mad not to see that.” He squeezed Robert’s hands, trying to make him look at him. “I love you.”

“Shut up.” Robert muttered under his breath, still staring at the bushes in front of them.

“No, I mean it. I love you. I never stopped.” Aaron vowed, happy when Robert finally looked at him and gave him a watery smile.

“Finally.”

“I guess I’m not very good at talking about these things either.” He said and met Robert halfway when he leaned in for a kiss.

“I love you too. So much.”

They shared another kiss and even though he could feel the wetness on Robert’s face, Aaron decided not to mention it.

When they pulled back, Robert reached into his jacket pocket and took out a little box.

“What’s that?”

“I bought this a few days ago… I’d planned this whole afternoon for us... but well…”

“I had to go and ruin it with my big mouth?” Aaron guessed, eyes flicking between Robert’s face and the still closed box in his hand.

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Robert insisted. “I’m the one having an emotional breakdown in the woods.” He laughed a little. “I made your favourite food and some of that fancy beer you pretend you don’t like but I know you do.”

“I suppose it’s alright…” Aaron grinned but then came to a realisation. “Wait. Was that what the whole thing in the barn was for?”

“Yeah… I wanted to do something special for you.”

Aaron smiled and pressed another kiss to Robert’s lips.

“Soft lad.”

“I’m not done yet.” Robert opened the box to reveal a silver ring. “I’ve been thinking… about what I want in life, where I see myself in five year, in ten, in fifteen… and I don’t have a plan. For the first time in my life I don’t have this goal I’m working towards or a target to reach. I don’t know where I’ll be in fifteen years’ time but I know that I want to be with you. I just can’t see my future without you in it.”

“Wha – what are you saying?” Aaron asked as Robert moved so he was kneeling in front of him.

“Aaron Dingle, I love you, will you marry me?”

“Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

Aaron looked at the ring and the hopeful expression on Robert’s face. He’d never really considered himself the marrying kind. He’d sworn more than once when he first came out he’d never get married. He’d called it a freak show and something that he’d never want a part of. Something that just wasn’t meant to be for someone like him. But now, now with Robert kneeling in front of him with a ring in his hand, there was only one reply he could think of.

“Yeah. Yes. Yes I’ll marry you.”

There were tears in Robert’s eyes again as he put the ring on Aaron’s finger, but this time they were happy tears. He leaned forward and kissed Aaron.

“I have another one at home. I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to wear one too or that you’d think it was all a bit… naff.”

“It’s not naff. The second we get home I’m putting that ring on your finger. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” Aaron smiled. “I’m sorry I ruined your proposal in the barn though…”

“Nothing is ruined. We could still go back. I put some blankets down… for old times sake” Robert grinned and got to his feet, holding his hand out for Aaron.

They walked back to the car hand in hand, both feeling happier and lighter than they had in a long time.

Only that feeling quickly vanished when they saw a police car parked near their car and an officer looking around it.

“Lachlan is still in the boot! I completely forgot about him.” Aaron hissed and started jogging towards the car. “Hello officer, is there a problem?”

“Is this your car?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

“Are you Aaron Dingle?”

“Yep. That’s me.” Aaron replied. “I have my ID in my wallet in the car.”

“We got a report that this car was abandoned.”

“No, no it’s not abandoned, officer. He loves that car. More than anything.” Robert joined the conversation. “We just took a walk in the woods. I told him not to park there but he said it was fine.”

“It’s nice around here. I guess we were gone longer than I thought.” Aaron added leaning on the car as Robert did the same. “We just got engaged you see.” He held up his hand to show the officer the ring. “He surprised me with it mid walk. Got down on one knee and everything.”

The officer didn’t seem entirely convinced but then someone was calling him via his radio and he walked a few steps away to reply.

“Should we just get in the car and floor it? We’ll have a head start.” Aaron whispered, showing Robert they keys he’d just pulled from his pocket.

“No. He knows your name. The last thing we need is half of Yorkshire looking for you and this car.” Robert hissed.

“Well, congratulations lads. I’ll let you off with a warning this time, I’m sure you’d rather spend the money on your wedding than a fine.” The officer said as he walked back over to them. “Just, park the car in an official parking space next time, yeah? And get a room, you’ll catch your death out there.” He walked back to his car and got in, starting the engine and slowly driving over to where Robert and Aaron  were still leaning on their car. “Oh and you might want to go back where you came from, lads. There’s been a massive accident on the bypass up ahead. Multiple vehicles involved. You’ll never make it past. The road will be closed for hours.”

“Right. Thanks for the heads up, officer. We’ll just go home then.” Robert said quickly and had to stop himself from waving goodbye as the officer drove off.

Aaron sighed and tipped his head back onto the roof of the car.

“That was close.”

“Yeah.” Robert agreed. “Come on let’s go home and get rid of this.” He patted the boot. “It’s not like we were really going anywhere anyway and if the bypass is closed…”

“I don’t want to go home.” Aaron said with a mischievous grin on his face. “It would be a shame to let all of your hard work go to waste. Let’s go back to the barn and put those blankets to good use.” He put his hands on Robert’s hips and pulled him close to kiss him.

Lachlan chose that moment to bang on the inside of the boot.